Ron Schneider : Figment

M-I-C ... as in "I wish that this microphone would work properly"

Ron Schneider — Thu, 01 May 2008 01:00:00 GMT

Now THAT'S Dedication...

Shortly after Disneyland opened in 1955, someone found an unpaid bill in a desk drawer amounting to thousands of dollars. When Walt heard about it, he is supposed to have said, “Well, when you do big things, you make big mistakes.“ Here's another example of this phenomenon, from my own experience...

When I was recording the Dreamfinder's voice for EPCOT's Skyleidoscope Lagoon Show, I took the opportunity to goof around with show director Gary Paben, trying different voices and doing bits of other ride narrations. And (as I had hoped) it made an impression ... enough so that I started getting calls to do other voices and park announcements.

Michael Eisner, Bob Hope and Mickey & Minnie escort Disney-MGM's "first family"
down Hollywood Boulevard on May 1, 1989. Copyright Disney. All Rights Reserved

One job I was honored to get was as Official Announcer for the Grand Opening of Disney-MGM Studios in 1989. All the “Ladies & Gentlemen, Boys & Girls ... “ things, and the “Please welcome the Chairman of the Board of the Walt Disney Company, Michael Eisner!” stuff. All of this we pre-recorded, but there was one section that had to be done live "The-Morning-Of."

Dozens of TV & movie stars from Hollywood history have been invited to attend the event and walk across the stage – smiling and waving – during the festivities. They have to be introduced, of course ... But since we won't know until that morning who actually shows up, I have to be there live-and-in-person to announce their names.

The view up Hollywood Boulevard ... Before someone in Marketing decided to
place a giant hat in front of the Chinese Theater.
Copyright 1989 Disney. All Rights Reserved

Rehearsals for the dedication ceremony start at 4 a.m. in front of the Chinese Theater. I have a long list of celebrity names and at the appropriate moment I run down the list, sounding properly impressed and impressive.

“Bob Hope ... Ernest Borgnine ... Don Knotts ... Morey Amsterdam ... Rose Marie ... Stan Freberg ... Regis Philbin ... Richard Dawson ... “

The run-thrus go beautifully, and we are about to lock everything down until show time, when I turn to Mr. Paben and say, “This mike I'm using is going to be live when it comes time for my announcement ... Right?”

“Of course it will,” says Gary. “Why wouldn't it be?”

George Lucas takes part in the opening night motorcade at Disney-MGM Studios.
Copyright 1989 Disney. All Rights Reserved

So I tell him this story ...

On an April morning in 1983, Figment & I are nervously poised to dedicate Kodak's Journey Into Imagination in front of the national press and all the top Disney and Kodak executives. It's a musical spectacular featuring characters from Disney parades and the Dapper Dans and dancers and fireworks and right in the middle of it all -- making our official debut -- Dreamfinder & Figment.

Bette Midler & Kevin Costner take part in a group handprint ceremony as part of
the studio theme park's opening festivities. In the back row is (L to R) Audrey
Hepburn, Cicely Tyson, Betty White and Lauren Bacall.
Copyright 1989 Disney. All Rights Reserved

Our part has a musical track that runs under it on which Figment's dialogue has been prerecorded by the purple dragon's official voice, Billy Barty. Everything's timed so that – just as I invite everyone to join us on the ride -- Figment will interrupt me. Then together we will sing our theme song, "One Little Spark."

I'm delivering my lines – timing them to the prerecorded track -- and at the moment he's supposed to speak up Figment opens his yap and nothing comes out. The music continues under, so I know the track is running. But the lizard just smiles at me while I stand there fishing for something to say.

Then, suddenly, he speaks up! I know immediately that someone in the sound booth had the volume turned down on Figment's voice track and I am mildly perturbed. After the event I inquire as to who the 'someone' had been. They wouldn't tell me that day, and I'm still wondering ...

Ron's good close friend, the Dreamfinder, introduces some EPCOT Center visitors to Figment

“So, “ I told Mr. Paben, ”I just want to know that this mike WILL be live when it's time for me to read this list of names.” Seeing my concern, Gary tells the Stage Manager to make doubly sure my mike is hot at the important moment.

Which, of course, it isn't.

So when Bob Hope starts across the stage I announce “Mister Bob Hope !” ... But no one hears it. I can tell it's not going out over the speakers. But it's not my job to fix it, it's my job to read the list. So the stars keep walking across the stage and I keep reading – to no one in particular.

After a moment Gary Paben leaps into the booth, tells the Stage Manager, “His mike is off!” and tells me, “Start again!”

Bette Midler, Mickey Mouse and Michael Eisner cut the ribbon
for Disney-MGM's backstage tour attraction.
Copyright 1989 Disney. All Rights Reserved

So I announce, “Mister Bob Hope !” as Morey Amsterdam steps onstage. Still no sound. They keep walking across and I keep reading and Gary says, “Fix his mike !” and “Start again !” and I announce “Mister Bob Hope !” as Rose Marie steps onstage and Gary says, “Turn it up !” and “Start again !” and Regis Philbin steps onstage as my voice comes blasting out over the speakers -- “MISTER BOB HOPE!”

Regis shoots me a look of utter disbelief as he steps off stage to the cheers of hundreds of confused Disney Guests. And after the show I tell Gary, “Well, when you do big things ... “

Speaking of big things ... Big things are expected of Ron Schneider's memoirs, "Themes, Dreams & Schemes: 40 Years Behind a Nametag." Which should show up in a bookstore near you sometime in late 2008 / early 2009.

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The toughest critter west of the Alamo: The one, the only, Wally Boag

Ron Schneider — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 02:00:00 GMT

Jim Hill here. And it is now with the greatest of pleasure that I introduce you to JHM's newest columnist: Ron Schneider.

For those of you who don't know already, Schneider is something of a celebrity in themed entertainment circles. His credits ... Well, they are literally too numerous to mention. So let's just give you a few highlights:

You know that face character version of the Dreamfinder who used to interact with Epcot guests over by the LeapFrog Fountain at the "Journey in Imagination" pavilion? Back in October of 1982, Ron actually originated that role for the parks. He worked with the Imagineers who created that Future World attraction to help turn this nuts-and-bolts AA figure into a flesh-and-blood walk-around character ... complete with little purple dragon.

Did you ever laugh at the Marx Brothers' antics at Universal Studios Florida? Back in the 1990s, Schneider supervised the lookalike program at that studio theme park. He put together such a talented troupe of performers who were so dedicated to their craft that ... Well, whenever you strolled down that park's Hollywood Boulevard, it really felt as if all of these screen legends had come back to life and were now invading Orlando.

He was the pre-recorded voice of the engineer that you used to hear on the steam train that rolls around the Magic Kingdom. Not to mention Santa Claus at SeaWorld. A mountain man who had a real-live lion for a pet at Magic Mountain back in the 1970s. Lord of the Manor at many a dinner theatre show. The list goes on & on ...

FYI: Ron's not just a talented performer. He's also a gifted storyteller who right now is in the middle of writing his memoirs. I've already read a good portion of that manuscript, "Themes, Dreams & Schemes: 40 Years Behind a Nametag." And trust me, folks. This is one book that Disney enthusiasts & theme park fans are going to want to pick up. It's just chock-full of hilarious behind-the-scenes stories. Not to mention valuable lessons about how one can not only survive but thrive in the topsy-turvy world of themed entertainment.

Speaking of stories ... For his debut column on JHM, Mr. Schneider's chosen to pay a tribute to a certain traveling salesman. The Disney Legend who actually inspired Ron to pursue a career of performing in theme parks. So why don't I just shut up now and let Schneider have the floor:

Would you believe ... There used to be a live stage show at Disneyland that wasn't based on a merchandising franchise or an animated film? Where the cast and musicians were known by their own real names? A show that grew more and more popular throughout its 31-year run, but hardly ever changed?

Old timers and die-hard fans of Disneyland history will know that I'm talking about: The original Golden Horseshoe Revue. It was Disneyland's most popular show from opening day 1955 until its final performance in 1986, and was listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the World's Longest Running Live Stage Show.

The Horseshoe was Walt's idea. His friend Donald Novis had been working on the road as a singer for years and was looking for a place to settle down. Walt offered to build him a showplace in his new park, and asked if he knew a good comic. It turns out Donald had worked with a funny young man in Australia who had made quite an impression. This was Wally Boag.

Walt summoned Wally to a one-on-one audition on a soundstage in Burbank. Wally brought his whole act: ventriloquist dummy, bagpipes, Boagaloons. He demonstrated his skill at eccentric dancing and ran through his nightclub act. Some of which had been tailored for a mature audience. Walt watched, impressed but silent. Wally wrapped with “And that's the act.”

Walt looked thoughtful. “This thing we're doing, Disneyland ... This is going to be a family park.”

Wally's response? “I can clean it up.”

Wally Boag quickly became more than Walt's personal court jester. He was the new park's Senior Consultant when it came to anything comic or theatrical. He produced the Backstage Disneyland magazine, a quarterly collection of humor based on life as a Disneyland cast member. He staged comic reviews for employee functions, helped Walt with the staging of the 1964 Winter Olympics, and appeared as a bit player in many Disney films, including "Son of Flubber" and "The Love Bug." He even served as a live action reference model on "The Aristocats," providing the inspiration for that wobbly-legged attorney who periodically pops up in this animated feature.

"What's the matter? You from LA or something?"
Wally Bag's all-too-brief cameo in "The Love Bug."
Copyright 1969 Walt Disney Productions. All Rights Reserved

Wally hosted a live radio show from the stage of the Horseshoe back in the 1950s, interviewing personalities of the day. And when it came time to flesh out that idea that Walt had for a new bird-based show for Adventureland, it was Wally who actually crafted the script for "The Enchanted Tiki Room." He also voiced the Barker Bird that used to sit on the outside of this attraction. Not to mention Jose -- one of "Tiki" 's 4 host parrots -- who still perches on the inside.

In addition to this, Boag opened the Diamond Horseshoe in Walt Disney World as well as helping to adapt the very American comedy found in Disney theme park attractions so that this material would then play better for the Japanese guests who were getting ready to visit Tokyo Disneyland.

And all that while still doing 5 shows a day at Disneyland. That's what you call being a trouper.

Wally Boag retired from the Horseshoe stage in 1982, but has been working almost continuously for the Walt Disney Company ever since. He was made a Disney Legend -- along with the Horseshoe's other principals, Fulton Burley & Betty Taylor -- in 1995.

Betty Taylor & Wally Boag on-stage at Disneyland's Golden Horseshoe Revue.
Copyright 1962 Walt Disney Productions. All Rights Reserved
Image courtesy of Daveland

Oh, and one more thing he did. Through his endless energy, dedication to show quality and sheer comic talent, Wally inspired more than a few of us to follow in his eccentric footsteps.

I first caught his act at the Golden Horseshoe in 1970. And right then and there – just like Steve Martin, Dana Daniels, Dick Hardwick and many others – I then set my sights on a performing career, with the ultimate goal of someday gracing that Frontierland stage. I took all the theme park jobs I could, working at Magic Mountain and Universal Studios. All the time studying what made Wally and the Golden Horseshoe such a unique piece of Disney history.

And dreams do come true. For during the Summer of 1980, I was actually hired to be Wally's sub at the Golden Horseshoe. And on many an evening during Disneyland's 25th anniversary celebration, I'd get a call from Boag. Asking me if I'd be willing to fill in so that Wally could then go play the ponies the following day.

Now let's jump ahead 15 years or so. When I was lucky enough to attend a Club 55 reunion where -- for one night only -- Wally was coming out of retirement to reprise his classic Traveling Salesman & Pecos Bill characters for hundreds of lucky Disneyland alumni. I just couldn't miss the chance to see my hero, my inspiration on-stage one more time. Which is why I made a point of being at that theater that night.

But given our history ... I couldn't help myself. So that afternoon -- after Wally & the cast had finished rehearsing -- I made my way backstage and found Mr. Boag. And since it had been more than a decade since he'd last seen me, Wally initially had trouble placing the face. But as soon as I said ...

"Well, I had to come. Just in case you needed someone to cover for you while you went to the track."

... This big smile broke across Boag's face.

“Ron Schneider? I was watching a video tape of you just the other day. You made me laugh.”

If I hadn't been so very touched by my hero's comment, I might have said the same thing to him.

Wasn't that a great story?

Speaking of Mr. Boag, the nice folks at Ape Pen Publishing will be paying tribute to Wally with "The Golden Horseshoe Dinner Show & Celebration," which will be held March 29th at the Sheraton directly across from Disneyland. There are literally only a handful of tickets left for this event. Which will feature performances by Dana Daniels, Dick Harwick and many of the other entertainers that Mr. Boag has inspired over the years. Plus -- of course -- an appearance by the great man himself. So if you'd like to get in on the fun, you should fire off an e-mail off to themagicmakers@charter.net ASAP

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