As you might expect, I got a lot of e-mail yesterday, keying off of the fact that WKMG-TV in Orlando had used as me as a source for their “Mission: Space” story. This was the news report where Mike DeForest revealed that Disney — having finally faced the fact that this Future World attraction’s “protein spill” problem was not going to go away — had quietly begun equipping each of the ride’s cabins with air sickness bags.
“You must be pretty good right about now, Jim,” said Sassafrass23 in her note to me yesterday. “After all, JimHillMedia.com was the first site to talk about how people were getting sick on this Epcot ride. Way back in July, wasn’t it, Jim? So it must feel pretty nice to be vindicated like this.”
Actually, no, SassyFrass23. It doesn’t feel nice. Why for? Because I don’t really get my jollies out of watching multi-million dollar projects crash and burn. I genuinely feel bad for all the people involved here — from the Imagineers who for years tried to convince WDW management that “MS” was a bad idea right down to Disney World’s PR department, who are now stuck with a marketing campaign for Epcot that’s built around an attraction that makes people sick. Once this air sickness bag story goes national, there’s going to be serious career repercussions here that go all the way down Disney’s food chain.
And the really sad part of the story is — just as I mentioned in the paragraph above — that there really were Imagineers who, right from the get-go, were warning Disney Theme Parks and Resorts managers that “Mission: Space”‘s ride system was going to be a bad fit for WDW’s science and discovery park. That any Future World attraction that potentially made a portion of the public sick was a PR disaster in the making. And that Disney should seriously try and find another way to tell the “Mission: Space” story.
But did Disney Theme Park and Resorts managers (Who — during this period — were being lead by then-division chairman Paul Pressler) listen? No. Why for? Because guest surveys had told these guys that Epcot desperately needed a thrill ride. Something that could top the hi-tech fun found over at Universal Studios’ Islands of Adventures’ “The Amazing Adventures of Spiderman” attraction. So that the Walt Disney Company could once again claim “the high ground” when it came to theme park superiority.
So, in spite of all the red flags that WDI had raised (I.E. That the ride system itself made people sick, that — impressive as the ride’s special effects might be — that the “Mission: Space” attraction still didn’t really tell a story, and — most importantly — that this Future World addition lacked the most fundamental qualities found in the very best Disney theme park attractions: A sense of wonder and heart), this project still rumbled through Imagineering’s production pipeline. Initially funded by the Compaq Computer Corporation, “Mission: Space” was eventually sponsored by Hewlett-Packard (Why the change in sponsors? Because HP actually swallowed Compaq back in May of 2002 when the two companies merged).
“So how much did ‘Mission: Space’ eventually cost?,” you ask. Well, Disney’s PR staff will tell you that the Mouse and Hewlett-Packard jointly spent $100 million on the development and construction of this Future World addition. But WDI insiders have told me that the project’s actual final price tag was significantly north of that amount. Something more along the lines of $170 million.
We asked one particular WDI insider, Marky Moose (A 10+ year Imagineering vet who agreed to provide deep background from this article if JHM agreed not to reveal his or her name) for his take on this situation. Marky replied:
“Yeah, we all knew that ‘Mission: Space’ was seriously over budget. But — you have to understand, Jim — that we honestly thought that this was money well spent. For ‘Mission: Space’ wasn’t just supposed to be an Epcot exclusive. No, Paul Pressler and his crowd had actually convinced themselves that ‘MS’ could be the Disney Corporation’s next big franchisable attraction. The company’s next ‘Big Thunder’ or ‘Tower of Terror.’
I’m serious, Jim. Less than three months ago, Disney management still had dreams of dropping a “Mission: Space” clone into Tomorrowland at Disneyland. With the hope that this hi-tech thrill ride would eventually revitalize that sagging section of the Anaheim theme park. And we’d also had discussions with executives from the Oriental Land Company about possibly using ‘Mission: Space’ as the centerpiece for a whole new Tomorrowland for Tokyo Disneyland. There’d also been talk of dropping clones of ‘MS’ into Disney Studios Paris and the Hong Kong park.
But now that Disney’s finally had to admit that ‘Mission: Space’ is making people sick, that dream’s dead, Jim. There’s just no way that we’re ever going to get any more of these rides out of the ground now. I mean, just think what the execs at the Oriental Land Company are going to make of this barf bag news. Given what a fastidious people the Japanese are, there’s just no way that OLC will ever allow construction of a clone of this attraction to go forward now.
So — instead of being the first of many — ‘Mission: Space’ is now going to be a one-and-only. And — given this ride’s ridiculously high price tag as well as all of its unexpected additional maintenance costs — it’s going to be years before this Future World attraction finally pays for itself.
This is really bad news, Jim. Given that Pressler’s now out of reach since he left Disney to go run the Gap, Paul’s no longer available to take the rap for ‘Mission: Space’ ‘s failure. Which means that some poor slob in WDI’s Orlando or Glendale office is going to end up taking the fall for Paul. Losing their job because the execs in the Team Disney Burbank building are desperate to find someone other than themselves to pin the blame on.
It’s just so sad, Jim. Three years ago, we repeatedly told Paul that this attraction wasn’t going to work. That people were going to get sick when they rode the thing. But Pressler wouldn’t listen. All he wanted was his hi-tech thrill ride for Epcot. And now we’re stuck cleaning up his mess. Literally. All because we couldn’t persuade Paul back in 2000 that ‘Mission: Space’ was a seriously flawed attraction.”
So here we are, less than five months after this Epcot addition first opened to the public, and the Walt Disney Company already has an operational nightmare on its hands. Given that — every time someone gets sick inside one of those cabins — “MS”‘s staff has to shut down an entire centrifuge unit for airing and cleaning, “Mission: Space” rarely — if ever — reaches its theoretical hourly ride capacity.
Then there’s the attraction’s increasingly toxic reputation. Just last week, when I finally got down to Orlando to ride “Mission: Space” for myself, I was stunned to see the dozens of nervous people who were just sitting around in the attraction’s post-show area after I got off the ride.
Mind you, these folks weren’t having fun playing the “Space Race” game and/or sending “Postcards from Space” home via e-mail. By that I mean: I’ve seen happier faces in hospital emergency rooms. No, these people were nervously sitting around “Mission: Space”‘s post-show area, anxiously watching the attraction’s exit area. Hoping against hope that their friends and family members would not be made nauseous by their trip through “Mission: Space.”
I’ve honestly never experienced anything like that, gang. Entering a room full of anxious, nervous people at a Disney theme park. Happy, smiling people — sure. But this was a first.
“But what did you think of the ride itself, Jim?” you ask. Well, I’d have to say that the best special effect on the entire attraction would have to be Gary Sinise’s painfully obvious plastic surgery. I don’t know if this guy had a big bowl of Botox just prior to shooting his part in “MS”‘s pre-show film, but Sinise’s face is almost scarily smooth. Let’s put it this way: Compared to Gary Sinise’s face in “Mission: Space,” Michael Jackson’s mug shot looks almost lifelike.
As for the ride itself … There’s no denying that “MS”‘s “blast-off” sequence is very cool. That pressure-in-the-pit-of-the-stomach sensation you get as your rocket roars off into space? It’s truly a one-of-a-kind feeling, folks. And I did genuinely enjoy the ride’s visuals.
But where was the heart? That epic sense of story telling, of adventure and fun you usually get on the very best of Disney theme park attractions? As I made my way through “MS”‘s queue, surrounded by all those plasma screens and all that chrome, I kept thinking: This is what space travel in the future is really going to be like? Like I’m getting on line to buy a Happy Meal at Downtown Disney’s McDonalds?
Particularly in the pre-show area, as Gary Sinise was droning on and on about the crew members’ particular missions were, I couldn’t help but think about how much more fun “Mission: Space” might have been if Sinise’s deadly dull Mission Control commander were suddenly elbowed out of the way by Mike Meyers dressed as Austin Powers. Then Austin could tell us that Gary’s training mission had been scrubbed in favor of recruiting all those assembled to help Powers defeat Doctor Evil.
Ah, but that’s not what actually happened. My “Mission: Space” experience flew by in a quick 4 minutes. And — just for the record– my simulated trip into space didn’t leave me feeling nauseous. But it didn’t fill me with a sense of wonder either. The whole experience just left me feeling … Well … empty and cold.
Which is how space is actually supposed to feel. So maybe the Imagineers DID do an okay job after all. I guess.
Anyway … I doubt that I’ll be getting back on “Mission: Space” again anytime soon. Why for? Not because I’m afraid of throwing up. But — rather — because I have better ways of spending my time when I’m at Walt Disney World. If I have my druthers, I’d rather go to a show that really entertains me, that fills me with a sense of magic and wonder.
Something like — say — “Mickey’s Philharmagic.” (But that’s a story for another time.)
Your thoughts?