There’s a famous Chinese curse: “May you live in interesting times.”
Well, folks, these are very interesting times. At least for me.
I mean, over the past five days, my cell phone hasn’t stopped ringing. I’ve had reporters from all over the country calling to request interviews. I’ve had friends & family checking in to make sure I’m okay.
And the e-mail … My in-box has been crammed full with all these wonderful notes. JHM readers writing in to express their outrage, offer their support, asking me what they can do to help (Their ideas run the gamut from sending in protest letters to Disney Company management to holding a sit-in at Disneyland’s Tour Guide Garden … FYI: That latter idea? I think that’s an incredibly stupid plan. Which is why I strongly urge the handful of JHM readers who are reportedly toying with this ’60’s style protest to abandon it ASAP. OK?)
I’ve also had a couple of hundred requests from people who want me to give them a “heads up” when the CD version of my “JHM Disneyland Tour” becomes available. So that they can then get to hear the stories that Disneyland Security thought were too racy or too rude to be told in public. (And — yes, all you iPod users out there — your message has come through loud & clear. Jeff and I will definitely look into prepping an iPod-friendly version of the tour).
And all of this because those three women got confused… <OW>
About that. A number of JHM readers have written in, wondering how that ever could have happened. To be honest, this innocent misunderstanding was more than partly my fault.
To explain: When people sign up for a JHM tour, they’re told to show up 15 minutes prior to the official start of the tour. Which — in this case — was 2 p.m.
Well, as I sat at the entrance of Disneyland’s Tour Guide Garden (I.E. The traditional meeting spot for the start of the tours), I kept hearing from tour participants who had just come in to the theme park’s main entrance that the lines at the turnstiles outside were incredibly long. Which is why it might take a while for the other tour participants to make their way through that crowd.
So 2 p.m. arrives and I’m still short three people for my afternoon tour. Meaning that three individuals (who I won’t name here) who had actually signed up for the 2 o’clock Saturday tour had yet to show up.
So I figured that I’d just hold in the area for a while. I began telling the story about how Disneyland actually came to be right there in the Tour Guide Garden, with the hope that my three no-shows would eventually turn up.
So 2 p.m. becomes 2:15. Which becomes 2:30. And — since I’m about to run out of Main Street-related stories — I’m getting ready to move my 2 p.m. tour group out of the Tour Guide Garden and into the walking portion of the tour … When who appears at my elbow but three ladies.
The diminutive blonde of the group asks: “Is this the tour?”
I’m in mid-story when these women come up to me. Rather than stop my story and formally check them in, I say: “Yes, it is. We’ve been waiting on you folks. Welcome!” Then plunge right back into my story.
The three ladies then proceed to follow along with the rest of the JHM tour group. They listen attentively to my stories, laugh in all the right places. Generally, they seem to be having a good time.
Of course, there were warning signs that things weren’t quite kosher. Like when the older member of the trio asked: “When do we eat?” Given that we don’t usually stop for a meal break on a JHM Disneyland tour, I just shrugged that comment off. Off-handedly saying that maybe we could grab a snack after the tour had formally concluded. So that I could then bring the three ladies up to speed on the portion of the tour that they’d missed out on because they had arrived late.
But it wasn’t ’til the very tail end of the tour (around 4 p.m.) that the diminutive blonde pulled the “Walk in Walt’s Footsteps” brochure out of her purse and said: “But I thought that we were supposed to see Club 33 on this tour …”
Immediately realizing what had happened, I apologized profusely to the trio. Explaining that there’d been some sort of mix-up. That what I was giving wasn’t an official Disneyland tour. But — rather — an unofficial one. Which was why I was able to tell a number of stories that the Walt Disney Company traditionally cuts out of its own recap of the Anaheim theme park’s history.
I then directed the three ladies back to Disneyland’s City Hall. Where I told them to speak with the park’s Guest Relations staff. Who (I was sure) would quickly grasp what had happened and immediately schedule the trio for another “Walk in Walt’s Footsteps” tour.
What I hadn’t counted on was that (and this info comes straight from an unnamed Guest Relations staffer who was working at City Hall this past Saturday afternoon when these three ladies came in) was that the park’s tour staff was initially quite unsympathetic to this trio’s complaints. That — since these ladies had specifically been told where & when to meet for their “Walk in Walt’s Footsteps” tour when they booked their reservations — that the park was now under no obligation to comp them another tour.
Sensing that they were losing this battle, the older woman in the party then became to complain quite loudly: “But the man who was leading that tour. He was telling such awful stories about Walt. How can you allow someone like that to wander around inside your park and say such vicious things about Mr. Disney?”
You see what was going on here, folks? It wasn’t so much that the stories that I was telling were actually all that offensive. But — rather — that three ladies had to really press this point in order to convince the staff at City Hall to agree to give them another free “Walk in Walt’s Footsteps” tour.
So — on the strength of this trio’s complaint — Guest Relations called Disneyland Security. And the rest of the story, you know …
Now Disneyland’s PR department will tell you that the reason that my Sunday afternoon tour got shut down was because I was an outside vendor on private property giving an unauthorized tour. And I’m not going to dispute that point. Why for? Because the Mouse is right.
But — that said — I’m still somewhat bothered by the way this whole thing went down. Like the very first thing that the lead investigator from Disney Security (this sweet, grandfatherly-looking guy) said to me: “We hear that you’ve been saying some pretty nasty things about our theme park.”
And then there was the Mouse’s decision to hijack my afternoon tour group. As in: Stop my 2 o’clock tour 20 minutes in, then take these people off on a “Walk in Walt’s Footsteps” tour instead.
Now some people will tell you that this was just good guest service. But me … I can’t help but think that this was Mickey’s way of trying to get these people to forget any of the somewhat darker tales that I may have told them about that theme park’s origins. So that they’d just go away with only happy memories of “The Happiest Place on Earth.”
But — then again — it’s really hard for me to complain. Given that all of the publicity that’s resulted from the ham-handed way that Disneyland Security handled this whole incident has resulted in enormous traffic for JHM. By singling me out for this sort of treatment, the Mouse may have actually done me a huge favor.
At least, that’s what my friends over at WDI & WDFA are telling me. Perhaps it was one unnamed Imagineer who best summed up this whole silly situation by saying:
Didn’t these people pay attention to what happened to you in Philadelphia last year? Disney kept you from covering the shareholders meeting. And — as result — you wound up on CNN & MSNBC.
Now they kick you out of Disneyland. And, as a direct result, you land in the media spotlight again.
It’s like you’re becoming the Disneyana equivalent of Obi Wan Kenobi, Jim. “If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.”
Maybe you should have that put on your business cards.
Well, I don’t know about that “… more powerful than you could possibly imagine” stuff. I’m not really a “delusion of grandeur” kind of guy. Most mornings, I’m lucky if I can have delusions of adequacy.
More importantly, if I had to pick a “Star Wars” character that I thought I looked most like, I think I’d pass over Obi Wan and go straight for Jabba the Hutt.
Anyway … I won’t lie to you, folks. The attention these past couple of days has been nice. As has been the boost in traffic at JHM. But — that said — I still feel bad for friends like David Koenig. Who was originally supposed to give two walking tours of Disneyland as part of his “Mouse Tales” book signing event (Which will be held Sunday, April 17th at the Compass Bookstore in Downtown Disney). Now that Disneyland Security has insisted that some sort of official policy be put in place regarding unauthorized tours of the theme park, I’m guessing that David’s hour-long “1955 Guided Tour” is off too.
And I’m also kind of embarassed for people like Bob Tucker, the director of Media Relations at the Disneyland Resort. Who — in response to repeated media inquiries about what had happened to me this past Sunday — was forced to issue the following statement:
Only qualified Disneyland Resort cast members are authorized to provide tours of Disneyland. Since Mr. Hill’s tour was not authorized he was asked to leave the property.
As I said earlier in this article, I really can’t find fault in the Mouse’s over-all approach to this situation. Given that I was basically in the wrong. I even managed to find the humor in this comment by an unnamed Disneyland PR flak:
“You wouldn’t go to a ball game and start selling hot dogs,” he continued, “and not expect the ball park to ask you to stop.”
Given the quality of the stories that I sometimes grind out for this site, I find the use of the hot dog analogy to be rather appropo. No. Wait Maybe a cheese dog would be more appropriate.
So — just to recap here:
1) No, I’m not mad at Disneyland Security for doing what they did to me. The people that I dealt with this past Sunday afternoon were unfailingly polite and professional. Even though all of their talk of issuing trespassing warnings and/or having me arrested nearly scared the crap out of me.
2) No, I haven’t gone into hiding because of what happened last Sunday and/or because of some of the more colorful things that have been written about me on other Disney websites. I’ve actually been out in Hawaii these past three days, having a wonderful time visiting with my daughter, Alice. Which is why I haven’t contributed a new story to JHM ’til just now.
3) That said, I’m still somewhat bothered by that “We hear that you’ve been saying some pretty nasty things about our theme park” comment. I can’t help but think that Disney’s need to keep a pro-Disneyland agenda going (particularly as the Anaheim resort gets ready for its upcoming “Happiest Homecoming on Earth” celebration) played a fairly big part in the Mouse’s decision to put a formal “no unauthorized tours” policy in place.
4) And — finally — no, JHM didn’t go dark yesterday because Disney’s lawyers had suddenly descended upon us and shut the site down. But — rather — because there was a bit of miscommunication between Flux Services (I.E. The company that provides & maintains JHM’s servers) and Tony Moore, JHM’s webmaster.
Speaking of which … It is with genuine sadness that I report that Tony Moore has suddenly decided to step down as JHM’s webmaster. I’ve known Mr. Moore for a number of years now (He and I actually worked together at DCACentral.com back in my “Remembering Light Magic” days) and he’s always been a hard worker & a good friend.
There’s no way that JHM would have come so far so fast in the past year or so without all of Tony’s tireless efforts. Which is why we’re really going to miss Mr. Moore around here. Best wishes on your next project. Don’t be a stranger, okay?
So — as Tony Moore rides off into the sunset — JHM now begins its search for its next webmaster. Mind you, I already have a number of candidates in mind. As soon as I get all that behind-the-scenes stuff sorted out, I’ll be sure to let you know.
In the meantime … Nancy just called. We just got another four inches of snow back in New Hampshire. Which I’ll undoubtedly have to deal with once I get back home next Wednesday.
But — for now — my daughter is campaigning to go down to the pool again. So I guess I’d best go find my swimming trunks, then head downstairs.
Anywho … I hope that you folks enjoyed all the unnecessary drama this week. Here’s hoping that things quiet down a bit here at JHM come next Monday.
Til then … You folks take care, okay?
jrh