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Disney’s up to something fishy …

“Fish are friends, not food.”

— Bruce the Shark, “Finding Nemo.”

Well, if that’s really the case … Then someone at Disney Consumer Products clearly didn’t get the memo. Which was why the Mouse announced (with much finfare … er …fanfare) earlier this month that it was teaming up with American Pride Seafood ” … to produce a line of lightly battered fish dishes.”

The first four items in this brand-new Disney product line — Cheddar Treasures, Dip Sea Dooz, Pirate Planks and Pizza Fins — actually began turning up in the frozen food section last week. So — with the hope that JHM readers might be interested in learning what these new products were like — I bought a box of each home and cooked them up.

Right from the start, let me say that — while the artwork on the outside of these packages is on model and really beautifully done — it is still somewhat disturbing to see Ariel’s likeness plastered on the side on a fish sticks box.

I don’t know about you. But if Disney had just opted to drop that “A Good Source of Protein” sticker off of the front of the box and replace it with a “Mermaid Safe” label … I know that I’d find a lot easier to dig into a plate of piping-hot Dip Sea Dooz.

Speaking of the Dip Sea Dooz … As that name probably implies, these were bite-sized fish nuggets that were deliberately designed to be dipped in sauces. Coming 24 to a box, these one-inch-long, lightly-battered pieces of Alaska Pollock actually tasted pretty good. Fishy but not too fishy.

Given their compact size and shape, I think it’s safe to say that Disney’s Dis Sea Dooz are sure to be a hit with the smaller set. Particularly those with tiny fingers who actually prefer that their finger food be easy to handle.

Would that I could say the same about the Pizza Fins …

… But these supposed pizza-flavored fish wedges would fall apart just as soon as you picked them up. Though I followed the directions on the side of the box exactly (I.E. Bake in a pre-heated oven at 400 degrees for 14-16 minutes), the breading on these 1 oz pieces of Alaska Pollock would still slide off just as soon as you touched them.

And — as for that pizza flavoring … Though the package listed cheddar, tomato and garlic powder as being among the product’s ingrediants, Disney’s Pizza Fins didn’t really have much of a pizza flavor. To be honest, these Pizza Fins tasted more like a fish dish that had been stored next to a pizza in the refridgerator. The pizza flavoring was light to the point of being non-existent.

Whereas the Cheddar Treasures … These were actually a nice surprise …

These crunchy, crumb-coated fish nuggets had a definite Cheddary taste. Not so much as to overwhelm the flavor of the fish, mind you. But just enough so that — if you were an adult (rather than the 3 to 8-year-olds that these American Pride Seafood products are actually aimed for) — that you might enjoy noshing on these as well.

As for Disney’s Pirate Planks … Truth be told, these are just longer, more oddly shaped versions of the Dip Sea Dooz.

For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what these pieces of Alaskan Pollock were supposed to look like. Oars? Waves? Baseball bats?

No matter. Just like the Dip Sea Dooz did, these four-inch-long lightly battered pieces of fish actually tasted pretty good. Though a little too long & wobbly to be safely considered finger food, I’m sure that the “Peter Pan” fans in your house will still gooble these right up.

So that’s a brief look at Disney Consumer Product’s newest product line. If you’d like to learn more about American Pride Seafoods and its newest product line, then I suggest you follow this link.

As for me … Given that I’ve just consumed all of this brain food, I thought that I’d now try and figure out what’s going on on the front of that “Pizza Fins” box.

You see Lilo & Stitch swimming, right? But what about the fish that’s behind them? Isn’t that Pudge, the fish that Lilo had to bring a peanut butter sandwich to every Thursday afternoon because she thought that Pudge controlled the weather?

Well, if that’s really Pudge … And Lilo wound up on the side of a fish sticks box … Doesn’t that make you question what was really going on during “Lilo & Stitch” ‘s title sequence?

By that I mean: Maybe Lilo isn’t really bring Pudge a sandwich each week because he can control the weather. Maybe she’s just fattening the fish up ’til the folks from American Pride Seafoods can come along?

Your thoughts?

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