You’re going to have to forgive me, gang, if I seem somewhat distracted this morning. But — but what with the holidays coming up at warp speed, my appearance at Mousefest 2003 next week and my book (which was supposed to be sent off to the publishers today. But — here’s a big surprise for all of you regular JHM readers — I didn’t quite get around to actually finishing writing the thing just yet)– I sort of feel like an air traffic controller at O’Hare today. Meaning that — if I’m not real careful here — I may unintentionally screw up large scale here. Accidentally land a plane in the middle of Lake Michigan, so to speak.
But you folks don’t care about that, do you? Understandably so. After all, you don’t come to JimHillMedia.com to hear Jim Hill whine about how overbooked he is. You come here for the stories.
The only problem is … I’m really not up for doing a full-blown story today.
So how’s about this: Instead of just pulling some old story out of the JHM archives, why don’t we try something new? As in: I’ll go through my e-mail in-box and share some of the more intriguing and informative items that have popped in over the past few days.
Take — for example — this message from the Masked Avenger, one of those truly talented folks who’s still hanging on at Walt Disney Imagineering, hoping to survive the next layoff. MA has some rather intriguing info to share about the Walt Disney Company’s next theme park. No, not the one in Hong Kong. The one that’s scheduled to go into Shanghai in 2010.
Good Christ, Jim. These idiots are never getting to learn. You would think that — particularly after DCA and Walt Disney Studios — Paris blew up in their faces — that those boobs back in Burbank would finally take a hint and not stint when it came to Phase 1 of their next couple of theme parks.
But you know how Hong Kong Disneyland is small, Jim? So small that HKD is sort of a Readers Digest version of Anaheim’s Disneyland? Well, Shanghai Disneyland is supposed to be even smaller than that. The joke that’s currently going around WDI right now is that — given how tiny in scope this project is supposed to be — this may be the very first Disney theme park to feature a drive-thru window.
Unless they significantly up the budget on this proposed park in the not-so-distant future, Shanghai Disneyland is going to be the equivalent of an outdoor Disney Quest. Okay, maybe two outdoor Disney Quests, Jim. The point is that SDL is — as it stands right now — going to be a project that isn’t properly funded that features far too few attractions. Which means that — when the thing opens in 2010 and is greeted with a shrug by Shanghai residents (Don’t forget, Jim, that we’re going to be following Universal into Shanghai. That they’re going to have their studio theme park open at least two to three years ahead of SDL. So that — by the time Shanghai Disneyland opens in 2010 or 2011 — Shanghai residents will know what to expect from an American-style theme park) — we’re just going to have to do to that theme park what we’re doing to DCA and Walt Disney Studios right now. Which is throwing a lot of unbudgeted, big ticket items into those theme parks — rides and attractions that SHOULD HAVE automatically been part of Phase 1 of these projects to begin with — with the hope that that’s what will bring the customers back.
That’s the thing that scares me the most of Mouse House management these days, Jim. They just don’t seem to be learning from their previous mistakes. They built a cheap theme park in Anaheim and the people didn’t come. They then built a cheap theme park in Paris and people didn’t come to that one either. Now Mickey’s building even cheaper theme parks in Hong Kong and Shanghai. But the in-house reasoning is “That’s okay. The Chinese don’t have a high quality Disney theme park right nearby to compare these two low budget projects to. So they’ll happily accept whatever it is that we give them. Which is why HKDL and SDL will be hits right out of the box.”
Can you believe these idiots, Jim? These suits have deluded themselves into thinking that no one in Hong Kong has ever made a trip over to Tokyo. That none of the Chinese have ever been to Tokyo Disneyland and/or Tokyo DisneySea. And that these people aren’t going to compare the tiny little theme parks that Disney foists on them to the grandiose ones that the Oriental Land Company operates just across the way.
It’s a recipe for disaster, Jim. But — of course — none of this matters to the lame brained MBAs that actually put the budget together for Hong Kong Disneyland and/or Shanghai Disneyland. By the time both of those theme parks have opened and begun taking on water, that short-sighted suit will long gone. He’ll have used his short time at Walt Disney Imagineering as a way to leverage himself into a better job somewhere else. And it’ll be up to us few remaining Imagineers to try and clean up this idiot’s mess while he’s off sitting in a cozy corner office at the Gap.
Sorry to keep droning on and on like this, Jim. But you’d think — particularly given what a mess Disney’s California Adventure and Walt Disney Studios in Paris turned out to be — that these guys would have finally learned that in order to get a return on your investment, you actually have to invest something.
But — when it comes to the executives who currently run the Walt Disney Company — I find that it’s best to never underestimate how stupid and/or clueless a suit can be.
Yikes! That was a two-fer, folks. Two pieces of bad news for the price of one. Shanghai Disneyland is supposed to be even smaller and cheaper than Hong Kong Disneyland. And the folks who currently run the Walt Disney Company don’t seem to have learned anything from the mistakes that were made on DCA or Walt Disney Studios in the Paris.
Not a very upbeat way to start off your Monday, is it? Well, let me dig around in my in-box and see if I can’t come up with a happier Disney-related story … Ah … Here we go! This message comes by way of Kingdom of the Sun:
What’s the deal with all these people talking up Disney’s first CG project, “Rapunzel Unbraided?” The fairy tale spoof that Glen Keane supposedly directing? The computer animated film that’s not due out in theaters ’til 2007 or 2008?
Don’t all you Disney dweebs realize that “Chicken Little” is currently in production? It’s this really funny film by the guys who did “The Emperor’s New Groove”: director Mark Dindal and producer Randy Fullmer.
And don’t give me that “Wasn’t ‘The Emperor’s New Groove’ a flop?” crap. Far from it, folks. “Groove” actually turned a modest profit during its initial theatrical release, then proved to be a huge hit in the after-market: video, cable and DVD. That’s why Disney is currently producing a direct-to-video sequel to the film — tentatively titled “The Emperor’s Newer Groove” — as well as seriously looking into doing a “Groove” TV series.
So where does “Chicken Little” fit into all this? Everything that made “Groove” great — the film’s stylish look, its snarky story qualities, not to mention it’s a-huge-new-laugh-every-3-seconds pacing — “Chicken Little” has got in spades.
Of course, the film has undergone a significant number of changes over the past year or so. Chicken Little’s now a little girl. And Penn Jillette (You know? Of Penn and Teller fame) is no longer doing any vocal work for the film. Which is a shame. Why for? Because I really loved his wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing camp counselor character.
But — beyond that one minor quibble, Jim -“Chicken Little” is going to be this great little movie. The film that will finally show the world what Disney can do when it decides to get serious about CG. This won’t be another “Dinosaur” -sized dud, Hill. Slow moving and far too serious. “Chicken Little” is going to be light on its feet and funny as hell. By that I mean: we’ve got Nik Ranieri — one of Disney’s top traditional animators — working on this film. And he’s doing some of his best work ever on “CL.”
So let the Wall Street Journal do front page articles on “Rapunzel Unbraided” and how wonderful that film is supposed to be. Never mind that Glen Keane has never actually directed a movie before. Or that — here inside of Walt Disney Feature Animation — Keane isn’t nearly as revered as he is on the outside. (Why for? Well, the guys in the story department all hate Glen because he always redraws and reboards their stuff. And then — what with his personal assistant and all — a lot of people at WDFA feel that Keane’s “gone Hollywood.” That he’s actually begun to believe his own publicity.)
Then add to that that “Rapunzel Unbraided” ‘s producer has never actually produced a film before … A film directed by a guy who’s never directed before which is being produced by a guy who’s never produced before doesn’t seem like a sure-fire recipe for success to me.
That’s the beauty of “Chicken Little, ” Jim. No one knows yet that it’s out there, lying in the bushes. Waiting to surprise the hell out of people with how funny and good looking a Disney CG film can really be.
So please spread the word, Hill. Make people aware that it’s not all gloom and doom when it comes to Walt Disney Feature Animation. That this division of the Mouse Factory does indeed have a future.
Provided — of course — that both “Chicken Little” and “Rapunzel Unbraided” succeed at the box office. Because if either of these two films fail … I shudder to think about what might happen next to Walt Disney Feature Animation.
And — speaking of Disney Feature Animation — let’s head on over to Disney Television Animation, where Mike Teevee (via a recent e-mail) attempted to bring me up-to-date on what’s going on on that side of the Mouse House.
You know, Jim, there is an upside to this whole Disney-Feature-Animation-sinking-into-the-sunset thing. It’s that Disney Television Animation was able to grab the cream of the crop (when it came to Disney’s story artists, that is) as they came streaming out from under that Sorcerer Mickey. A lot of those guys are toiling away inside the Frank Wells building on the Burbank lot (Also known as the “Twos” building, given the huge number of sequels that DTA currently has in production there).
So — in 2004 — when you’re looking at “The Lion King 1 ½” and “The Three Musketeers” and thinking “Boy, this direct-to-video thing almost look as good as one of Disney’s old animated features,” now you’ll know why. All those guys who used to do storyboards for Disney Feature Animation are now pushing pencils for Disney Television Animation.
Here’s some good news from PhinPhan for all of you “Finding Nemo” fans out there:
Jim,
I just wanted to give you a heads-up about the “Drawn to Animation” redo that’s currently in the works for the “Disney Animation” exhibit at California Adventure. The Imagineers had originally thought that they were going to put that interactive Stitch show in here (You know, the one where Disneyland guests seemed to get to talk with a CG version of the little blue alien in real time?). The only problem was … people in the test audiences were having trouble understanding Stitch. The character’s voice (which was based on how “Lilo and Stitch” director Chris Sanders initially did the voice for the character) was just too garbled for some adult Disneyland guests to understand what Stitch was saying.
So WDI’s new plan is to do the same sort of interactive show, only with a new character. So who’s supposed to be the new star of the “Drawn to Animation” replacement show? Crush, the dude-speaking sea turtle from “Finding Nemo.”
Now the Imagineers already understand that it’s probably going to be a sore point with Disney’s animators that a show at DCA’s “Disney Animation” exhibit is going to be built around a Pixar character. But — given that none of Disney’s animators ever really groused when images from “Toy Story” and “A Bug’s Life” were prominently featured as part of the overhead display in the building’s lobby — WDI believes that they’ll be able to deal fairly quickly with any animator’s complaints.
And speaking of animator’s complaints, El KaBongo says that David Stainton — the new head of Disney Feature Animation — is incredibly gaffe prone. And that — try as he might — David can’t help but put his foot in his mouth whenever he appears before an assembly of WDFA staffers.
Jim:
By now, I’m certain that you’ve heard the story about David Stainton’s serenade of the Disney Feature Animation staff. You know? Back on October, when Stainton took part in the outdoor ceremony where it was revealed that Dean Deblois and Chris Sanders had been signed to do “American Dog”? When David — showing a complete lack of sympathy and tact — stood on the second floor balcony and (doing his best Madonna — Evita Peron impression) warbled “Don’t Cry for Me, Animation” to all the soon-to-be-laid-off animators assembled on the lawn below.
Well, Stainton topped himself with his appearance at last Monday’s WDFA staff meeting (The one where David tried to reassure everyone that things would still be okay in Burbank. After Stainton had just told all the Disney-MGM animators that they should probably start looking for work elsewhere). After the very start of the meeting, Stainton said “”First the good news. ‘Brother Bear’ beat that awful Warner Bros. movie, ‘Looney Tunes: Back in Action,’ this past weekend.” A remark that was met with stony silence.
Why for? Because the animation in “Looney Tunes: Back in Action” was directed by Eric Goldberg, a much beloved and respected WDFA vet. Whereas David Stainton … You’d be hard pressed to find anyone at Disney Feature Animation who would call their division’s president “much beloved” and/or “respected.”
The good news is — if he keeps committing gaffes like this in public — Eisner will probably eventually let Stainton go. After all, Uncle Mike doesn’t have much love for Disney execs who constantly put their foot in their mouths. Remember what happened to Bob Weis, the Imagineer who tripped up the entire “Disney’s America” project by saying that the proposed Virginia history park would allow Disney theme park guests to “feel what it’s like to be a slave.” The press fell on that remark, repeated it endless. Which — to Eisner’s way of thinking — is why Disney’s America never got built. Which is why — right after this project got canceled in October 1994 — Bob Weis was quietly shown the door at WDI.
The concern now at the WDFA management level is that some Southern newspaper, TV or radio station is going to pick up on David’s widely reported comments that “The fundamental idea (behind “A Few Good Ghost”) is not strong enough or universally appealing enough to support the kind of performance (that the Walt Disney Company’s animated) movies must have today” and realize that Stainton is actually dissing country music and/or country music performers.
If that happens (And the inevitable firestorm about that sort of comment erupts), David Stainton may find himself following in Bob Weis’ footsteps. Having effectively talked himself out of one of the more prestigious if high pressure positions in today’s animation field.
So there you go, folks. Five intriguing new Disney-related stories for the price of one. Hopefully, the above article provided you with something to talk about around the water cooler later today.
Now — if you’ll excuse me — I gotta get back to work on that book.
Your thoughts?