How many of you out there are familiar with Tom Morrow, the Audio Animatronic figure (voiced by Nathan Lane) that hosts the “Innoventions” exhibit in Disneyland’s Tomorrowland?
I mean really familiar. As in: You haven’t just watched this robot do all of his intro spiels to the various areas in “Innoventions.” You’ve actually hung around to watch this AA figure AFTER the rest of the guests have moved on. As Tom waits to spiel to the next set of Disneyland guests who enter the theater-go-round building.
What? You haven’t had a chance to do this yet? Oh, you GOTTA do this the next time you’re in Anaheim. After all, how many times do you get the opportunity to watch a robot grow bored?
Seriously, folks. The next time you’re at “Innoventions” in Disneyland’s Tomorrowland, linger around the Tom Morrow figure. After the rest of the guests have wandered off to look at the cutting edge medical technology exhibits and/or fiddle with computer games, just stand there in front of that AA figure and watch Tom kill time.
In the minute or so before the new group of tourists loads into the building, you’ll see Mr. Morrow:
Straighten his tie.
Check his nails.
Attempt to dig wax out of his ear, then look at it.
Shift his weight nervously.
Check his watch.
In short, it’s everything that you and I would do if we had this really boring, repetitive job where we had to be nice to tourists all day. I mean, it really is a beautiful little bit of AA figure programming. Very fluid. Incredibly lifelike … that virtually no one ever sees.
And why is that? Because is something that WDI likes to call a “Joke for One.” A clever little bit of programming and/or an extra added flourish to an Audio Animatronic figure that only the Imagineers, Disney cast members or those who are in the know ever get to see.
Take for example how the Timekeeper begins his performance cycle over in WDW’s “From Time to Time” Circlevision theater. On completion of his show cycle, that AA figure stands perfectly. Then — as the new show cycle begins — you hear over the speakers in the auditorium the sound of a very old car trying to start. With each “Rrrr … Rrrr … Rrrr …” of the aged starter trying to turn over, the Timekeeper shakes a little bit. As if the robot is this balky old piece of machinery that’s having trouble starting his day.
Finally, with a very loud “Ver-ROOM,” the Timekeeper AA figure officially “turns over” and the robot begins fluidly moving about. And it’s right about this time that the WDW cast member hits that switch that opens the automatic door leading out to the lobby and all the guests come filing in.
You see what I’m saying here? Here’s this great little gag that virtually no one ever gets to see. Only the Imagineers who originally programmed that the Timekeeper AA figure, the cast members who actually work at “From Time from Time” and the occasional tourist who lingers in the Circlevision theater ever get to see this clever bit of business.
Which I think is kind of a shame.
Mind you, sometime the public is never, ever supposed to see these little WDI inside jokes. Why for? Because a number of them really do border on the obscene.
How so? Well, how many of you remember Bonnie Appetit from the old “Kitchen Kabaret” show that Kraft Foods used to sponsor in “The Land” pavilion in EPCOT Center’s Future World section? For those of you who don’t recall: Ms. Appetit was this leggy AA figure who served as the hostess of this somewhat strange show. A weird cross between a harried housewife and a Vegas show girl, Bonnie would belt out these musical intros to the attraction’s various “acts” (I.E. a ham and egg vaudeville team, a milk carton who was a crooner, a collard full of samba-singing fruits and vegetables …)
Yes, “Kitchen Kabaret” really WAS one trippy little show. What I personally always found hilarious about this EPCOT Center attraction was that the exit doors to that auditorium pretty much funneled WDW visitors straight into “The Land”‘s food court area. As if to say to WDW guests: “You loved all the performers in today’s show, didn’t you? Well, show the cast of the ‘Kitchen Kabaret’ that you really care. Go EAT THEM !!!”
Anyway … getting back to Bonnie Appetit. It’s clear that the Imagineers who got stuck with programming all of the AA figures for “Kitchen Kabaret” got bored and/or were feeling really mischievous while they were working on this Future World show. How so? Well, it seems that these randy guys from WDI always tried to make Bonnie’s “pause and hold” position (I.E. The “at rest” pose that this robot would automatically go into should there be a sudden power failure hostess or something catastrophic happen at the attraction) as obscene as possible.
Which was fine with Imagineering management. After all, these WED / WDI vets enjoy a hoary old joke as much as the next man. The only condition that that they insisted on was that the public never, ever get the chance to see Bonnie being naughty.
The Imagineers who had done all of the programming on the Appetit AA figure had thought that they had had taken care of this matter. How so? By deliberately putting a line of code into the programming that controlled the “Kitchen Kabaret” theater that — should there ever be a sudden power failure and/or something catastrophic happen — the curtain would automatically come down. That way, no members of the public would ever get to see Ms. Appetit … er … um … what’s a polite way of putting this? “Mishandling her produce?”
Anyway, it seemed like a pretty foolproof scheme. The Imagineers could still have their girly AA figure who had been programmed to do some reportedly pretty raunchy things (which meant that Epcot’s “Kitchen Kabaret” would typically have a pretty full house during the final test-and-adjust of this EPCOT Center show. Why For? Because the Imagineers who were running the “Kitchen Kabaret” test would over-ride the “Bring Down the Curtain” command and then deliberately derail the show. Then the Imagineers in the auditorium would hoot andholler as Bonnie stopped being such a sweet innocent housewife and went into her “act”) while Disney World guest were kept unawares.
What the Imagineers failed to take into consideration was what might happen to the “Kitchen Kabaret” show if the “Land” pavilion were to be struck by lightening. Sure enough, one day in the early 1990s, a bolt came sailing out of the blue and struck the top of this Future World structure. That enormous jolt of electricity surged through the building, scrambling every computer …
Which is why the curtain in the “Kitchen Kabaret” theater didn’t automatically close. Which is why an auditorium full of tourists supposedly got to see the Bonnie Appetit AA figure lift up her short skirt with one hand as the other hand dove between her legs. I’m told that — as the robot threw back her head and thrust her pelvis out and then froze on stage in this position with the theater’s emergency lights shining down on her — that the audience gasped … then quickly filed out of the auditorium to go file complaints over at Epcot Center’s “Guest Relations” desk.
I’ve heard that the Mouse’s official cover story for what occurred that stormy afternoon was that it was the lighting strike — not some deliberately randy programming — that caused the Bonnie Appetit AA figure to … well … “go for the gusto.” But if that were truly the case, then why did Walt Disney World management have the Imagineers immediately reprogram all of Bonnie Appetit’s “Pause and Hold” positions (so that she would no longer automatically become a naughty homemaker whenever things went wrong with “Kitchen Kabaret”)?
This story is the stuff of legends at Walt Disney Imagineering. The sort of tale that the Imagineers tell to illustrate what the “Good Old Days at WED” used to be like. Back when you could get away with some truly funny stuff.
Nowadays, these “Jokes for One” that the Imagineers try to use the Park’s AA figures to tell tend to be on the quiet side. Sly little touches like that pack of condoms that they supposedly keep slipping into the *** pocket of the suit jacket that the Bill Clinton figure wears in the Magic Kingdom’s “The Hall of Presidents.”
I’m told that the President Kennedy AA figure also occasionally gets the condom treatment. And that — ‘way back during the Watergate hearings in the early 1970s — the Imagineers used to tie the Richard Nixon AA figure’s hands behind the robot’s back with a bandana. As if to illustrate what the then-President (who kept insisting that he was “not a crook”) would look like should “Tricky ***” ever get the cuffs slapped on him.
Me personally? I prefer the jokes that are out there for the whole world to see. The bored, fidgety Tom Morrow. The having-trouble-starting Timekeeper. And (my personal favorite) how the Iago AA figure behaves at the very end of WDW’s “Enchanted Tiki Room – Under New Management” show.
Given how obnoxious this parrot character was in the original “Aladdin” movie back in 1992, it’s really no surprise that Kevin Rafferty (the Imagineer who’s credited with putting together “Under New Management”‘s wildly funny if somewhat mean-spirited script) really let Gilbert Gottfried (the comedian who’s been providing the parrot’s vocals for well over a dozen years now) cut loose.
This is why Iago — who’s deliberately positioned over the attraction’s exit — attempts to hassle every tourist as they head out the door. Throwing off abrasive one-liners like “Hey, Lady! Smart idea, walking under a bird!” After a while, Iago seems to quiet down. But the very best zinger is saved for last.
After the very last tourist has almost assuredly filed out of the “Enchanted Tiki Room,” the paunchy parrot yawns and says “Well, I’m exhausted. I think I’ll go over to the Hall of Presidents and take a nap.”
This is a true first in Disney theme park history, folks. An AA figure from one show ragging on another theme park show. The first time I heard this, my jaw just dropped open … then I laughed myself silly.
All in all, it was the perfect “Joke for One” experience. The Imagineering equivalent of those “Easter Eggs” that get hidden on DVDs. The sort of gag that only someone who knows what to look for will ever find.
I don’t suppose that any of you folks out there have similar stories to share …