2:58 p.m. … 2:59 a.m. … 3 p.m. !
That’s it. “SOAPnet reveals ABC Soap Secrets” is officially off the air. This program has finally aired in all three time zones in the United States. Which means that I am no longer barred by that non disclosure agreement I signed earlier this month that prevented me from talking about the experience that Nancy & I had while attending the taping of this particular TV special. And what a strange experience it was.
First a little background: Nancy is a big-time ABC soap fan. In that she watches “All My Children,” “One Life to Live” and “General Hospital” fairly religiously. Either when these programs actually air in the afternoon on ABC or when they’re rerun later that same night on SOAPnet.
Plus Nancy’s attended eight of the last nine “Super Soap Weekends” down at Disney-MGM. And she’s already making plans with Angela Ragno & Jeff Lange to attend the 10th anniversary SSW on November 12 & 13. So I guess it’s safe to say that my significant other is a fan.
Me? I pride myself on being a good soap spouse. Which means that — while I don’t actually have any interest in these ABC programs — I at least try to stay current on what’s going on on “AMC,” “OLTL” and “GH.” So that — should the subject come up in day-to-day conversation (EX: Nancy says: “Well, Jonathan’s back.” To which Jim replies: “Ryan’s brother? The one who supposedly died in that cave-in?”) — I can at least be conversant.
Anyway … While we were getting ready to attend SIGGRAPH 2005, Nancy learned that ABC would be taping a SOAPnet TV special at Prospect Studios about the same time that we were scheduled to be out in LA. She asked if it would be okay if we attended the taping. Given that this woman is kind enough to tolerate all of my Disney-related crap, I (of course) said “yes.”
So Nancy arranged for two tickets to attend this taping through TVtix.com. And several weeks later, bright & early on a very hot Saturday morning, we found ourselves standing on the sidewalk out in front of Prospect Studios.
Photo by Nancy Stadler
Now Prospect Studios has had a lot of names over the years. Folks who’ve lived out in LA since the late 1940s tend to still call this Silver-Lake-area production facility the ABC Television Center. Which was where “The Lawrence Welk Show,” “Let’s Make a Deal” and “America Bandstand” were taped back in the 1960s and 1970s.
But if you’re a real Hollywood history buff (as I am), then you think of Prospect Studios as being where Vitagraph used to be located. I mean, some real movie history was made inside these walls. Film pioneer D.W. Griffith shot pictures on these stages. Silent film stars like Rudolph Valentino, Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks walked through these gates. Portions of Lon Chaney’s “The Phantom of the Opera” and Al Jolson’s “The Jazz Singer” were shot here.
Photo by Nancy Stadler
So Prospect Studios is a place that I’ve actually been hoping to visit during one of my trips to Hollywood. So I was thinking that — after we got signed in for this Saturday taping — I might wander off, do a little poking around, see what is to see around this truly historic lot …
No such luck. The production staff at Prospect Studios kept a very tight rein on all us would-be audience members. As soon as we came onto the Prospect Studios lot, we were all issued wristbands, then quickly herded into an outdoor enclosure that was right next door to the soundstage where we’d be attending the “SOAPnet reveals ABC Soap Secrets” taping.
Photo by Nancy Stadler
Here, at least there was shade and places to sit. Plus access to snack machines so that you could get a nosh and/or something to drink. Which was a nice change from standing out in the hot sun on the sidewalk.
Anywho … Once we were all herded inside of this enclosure, the production staff gave every audience member a non disclosure form to sign. Which (in a nutshell) stated that — were we to reveal anything about what we’d learn at this taping prior to the show’s airdate — the wrath of God himself (Or maybe it was just ABC’s legal department. I forget which) would descend upon us.
So reluctantly Nancy and I signed these forms. Which meant that we were barred from writing about (or even talking about) our experience at the “SOAPnet reveals ABC Soap Secrets” taping until … Well … today.
Now it was about this time that a production assistant who was moving through the audience holding area noticed the Kermit the Frog t-shirt that Nancy was wearing. He quickly stopped at our table and said: “Ooh. We’re going to have a problem with that. You’re going to need to cover Kermit up.”
Photo by Nancy Stadler
“But … But … But,” I sputtered. “The Muppets are now owned by the Walt Disney Company. As is ABC and SOAPnet. So why would you guys have a problem with someone wearing a Kermit the Frog t-shirt to a SOAPnet taping?”
The PA then explained that — even though the Muppets, ABC and SOAPnet are all now owned by the Walt Disney Company — the network would still supposedly have to get the people at the Muppet Holding Company to formally give them permission to use Kermit’s image on the air. And seeing as this clearance process would take time & money (Something that a TV network rarely ever has enough of), the easier thing to do is just ask Nancy to cover up her Frog.
Which Nancy did by putting on a large black sweater. Though — just to play it safe (And to make sure that the taping of this TV special remain a Muppet-free zone) — the two of us wound up being seated at the very back of the audience.
Which was okay for me. Because — when you’re that far back — you really get to see everything that’s involved with the production of a TV program. The way the production staff seems to be in constant motion. Setting up the chairs for each segment. Making sure that there are always beverages for the hosts & the guests. How the make-up people would quickly move in and do touch-ups on the performers.
I’m sorry that we couldn’t include any shots of the show itself. But we were barred from bringing any cameras on the soundstage. And just to make sure that no one could slip one through, every audience member — as they got on line to go into the seating area — had to go through a metal detector. And anyone who still had cel phones or cameras with them at that point had to then surrender them.
Mind you, while I was standing on line to go through the metal detector, I passed one of the most bizarre signs I have ever seen in my adult life. It read:
A television production is being filmed here. By your presence, you consent to be filmed and otherwise agree SOAPnet Productions Inc. (Producer) may use and grant the right to your voice, name, and filmed and/or recorded likeness without limitations or restrictions and without payment to you of any kind for all purposes and in connection with this television production or any other production (including advertising and promotion) throughout the universe, in perpetuity, in any and all languages for all forms of media, now known and later devised.
Talk about covering your ass. I’m sure that — if ABC’s lawyers had tried a little harder — they could have probably worked the phrase “first born male child” somewhere into this document. But talk about your pieces of legal boilerplate.
Speaking of stuff that I found amusing … This “SOAPnet reveals ABC Soap Secrets” special made use of a warm-up guy. You know, a stand-up comedian who entertains the audience between segments? Who kept our energy levels up and kept us focused on our job. Which was to applaud loudly and then “Ooh” and “Aah” on cue.
Well, our warm-up guy was Chunky B. Who (according to Nancy) is the comic that ABC always brings with them to the “Super Soap Weekends” in Orlando. Because Chunky does such a nice job of entertaining the crowds at Disney-MGM.
Well, I’ll say this much: Chunky B. really was a pro. He made what could have been incredibly tedious (Watching people getting ready to shoot a TV show can be like watching paint dry) an awful lot of fun. He coached us in the proper way to react to all the “surprising” revelations that would be revealed as part of this TV taping. “You’re in Hollywood now,” Chunk B. explained. “It’s okay to fake it.”
After three hours (Which included the half hour or so after the taping was actually over. Where we were asked to remain in our seats so that the production team could then shoot audience reaction shots that would later be cut into the program. Which meant that we were repeatedly photographed giving standing ovations for performers who were already out in their cars, driving home on the 101), we were back outside.
Nancy was happy because she’d gotten to see some ABC soap stars live and in person. She’d even got to shake Cameron Mathison’s hand. Plus she got to have her picture taken next to the really-for-real “General Hospital” sign.
Photo by Jim Hill
Whereas me … I was happy that the taping finally was over. Which meant that our ABC handlers loosened up a bit. Which meant that I was finally allowed to poke around Prospect Studios. Get some pictures of the historic old soundstages …
Photo by Nancy Stadler
… All the Star Waggons that were lined up at the edge of the parking lot …
Photo by Nancy Stadler
… as well as the huge array of satellite dishes that ABC maintains at this production facility.
Photo by Nancy Stadler
So — all in all — it was a pretty interesting way to spend a Saturday in LA. Particularly if you’re a fan of the production process.
If — on the other hand — you like to think of television production as being something that’s exciting and/or glamorous … Well, remember the old cliche? “People who like sausage or politics shouldn’t watch either being made”? Well, you can add shooting a TV special to that list. For there’s really nothing glamorous about the way Hollywood just keeps grinding these stuff out.
Your thoughts?