The “Cars” showroom is now open!

Jim Hill

19 years ago

You know, one of the best parts of this writing-for-the-Internet gig is that — on occassion — people will actually give you a “heads up” when something cool has just happened.

Take — for example — this brief note I got from BG yesterday. Which (in its entirety) read:

CARS site now updated with content FYI

Soooo … Given that I’m as obsessed with learning as much as I can about this new John Lasseter film as your average animation geek, I quickly clicked on over to TheCarsMovie.com and … Oooh! Pretty! Shiny!

Given the subject matter of this particular motion picture, I guess it’s really not all that much of a surprise that Walt Disney Pictures and Pixar Animation Studios would choose to promote “Cars” by creating a bogus on-line auto showroom. You know? The sort of thing that the Ford Motor Company and GM set up in order to promote next year’s line of cars on the net?

Anyway … You start your tour off by first letting the “Cars” website know what country you’re checking in from. By noodling around on this menu, I learned that — while this new John Lasseter movie is due to be released to theaters here in the US on June 9th — “Cars” won’t actually hit the road in the Netherlands ’til June 28th, in Spain ’til July 5th, in Italy ’til August 25th, in Germany ’til September 14th, and in Finland ’til “Elokuvateattereissa. 25 elokuuta.” Whatever the hell that means …

From here, you enter the showroom. Where — over the next 13 weeks — you’ll be introduced to 12 different characters from this John Lasseter film. First up is Lightning McQueen, who is …

” … a hotshot rookie racecar poised to become the youngest car ever to win the Piston Cup Championship. He has just two things on his mind, winning and the perks that come with it. Fame, money, groupies, helicopters … it’s everything that he’s dreamed of, but that’s about to change. When McQueen gets lost in the forgotten town of Radiator Springs, he’s introduced to a new group of friends who challenge him to reconsider the car he wants to be.”

As you point-and-click your way around the Lightning McQueen section of the “Cars” website, you’ll learn that Lightning can supposedly go from 0-60 in 4.5 seconds, that this cocky race car is capable of speeds upwards of 200 MPH and that McQueen is sponsored by the “Rust-eze Medicated Bumper Ointment” corporation (More on that aspect of the film in a moment).

Anywho … There are lots of cool bells & whistles here on the “Cars” website. EX: You can do a 360 degree turnaround of a CG model of Lightning & see how slick this vehicle is from all sides. And speaking of slick, check out this bogus ad:

The detailing in this faux auto advertisement is simply amazing. Be sure to check it out in full-size. I mean, you can almost feel the smooth finish on this photo-realistic racing car.

FYI: That ad is downloadable. As are various Lightning McQueen-related wallpapers and AIM icons. And supposedly coming soon are animated signatures! Woo-hoo!

Now it should be noted here that — while the “Cars” website trumpets that the “Showroom (is) now open” — the reality is this promotional website is still very much a work-in-progress.

By that I mean: Many of the promised features (I.E. Music & press as well as a build-your-own car area) remain greyed out at the moment. And even in the Lightning McQueen section, fairly standard features like “Video Clips” as well as intriguing sounding add-ons like “Voice Activation” are (for the time being, anyway) turned off

But that’s the whole point behind a promotional website, isn’t it? That we’re supposed to come back, day after day, in order to find out what’s been turned on. What new surprises await us.

So, okay. All of the bells & whistles on the “Cars” website haven’t gone live yet. Big deal. There’s still plenty to explore here, lots of neat things to discover.

I mean, it’s worth visiting this website alone just to check out the new trailer for this John Lasseter film. Which features this memorable exchange between Fillmore (I.E. The 1960s era VW Bus voiced by George Carlin) and Sarge (I.E. The WW II Army Jeep voiced by Paul Dooley). As Fillmore stares up at the traffic light that hangs in the middle of Radiator Springs, he says:

FILLMORE: I’m tellin’ ya, man. Every third blink is slower.

After a brief pause, Sarge replies:

SARGE: The 60s weren’t good to you, were they?

Sooo … If you’re looking for a fun way to kill some time this morning, drop on by the “Cars” website and start clicking around. If you’re paying close attention, you may actually learn something about this new John Lasseter movie that you didn’t know already (EX: It wasn’t until I checked out this website yesterday that I learned that Michael Keaton and Tony Shaloub are doing voices for this film. Which I thought was kind of cool. Anyhow …).

Oops. Almost forgot about the Rust-eze thing. Which is really one of “Cars” better in-jokes …

To explain: While John Lasseter felt that it was important that this film be somewhat grounded in reality (I.E. That some of the automobiles featured in “Cars” be based on easily recognizable models. Which is why Sally — the character that’s voiced by Bonnie Hunt — is a 2002 Porsche and Doc Hudson — the character voiced by screen legend Paul Newman — is based on a really-for-real 1951 Hudson Hornet), John didn’t want too much reality to leak into his ” … fast-paced comedy adventure set inside the world of cars.”

Which is what made recreating the world of NASCAR racing kind of a challenge for the crew working on “Cars.” You see, as anyone who’s ever been to the race track and/or watched a race on television knows, these cars are typically covered with sponsor logos & decals. And given that Lasseter wanted the racing portions of this picture to really feel authentic … Well, that meant that the race cars in “Cars” would have to have decals & logos too.

The only problem was … Given that the crew at Pixar prides itself on being responsible film-makers, it just didn’t feel right to slap names of really-for-real NASCAR sponsors on the race cars in “Cars.” I mean, prominently placing names like “Budweiser” or “Marlboro” in a film that was going to be seen repeatedly by millions & millions of children the world over just didn’t seem like the right thing to do.

Which is why — rather than use the names of really-for-real products — the folks at Pixar decided to cook up their own sponsors. Faux products from the car world that would then put an amusing spin on stuff that we already have here in the real world.

So, okay. I’ve already told you about Lightning McQueen’s sponsor, Rust-eze medicated bumper ointment. Which is for cars that are having problem with their rear ends. But check out some of these other sponsors that the people at Pixar dreamed up:

Faux Wheel Drive — Dirt Decals for urban SUVs
Leak Less — Adult Drip Pans
View Zeen — Corrective Windshields
Vitoline — For Older Active Cars
Sputter Stop — Cold Engine Relief
Fiber Fuel — Run Regular
Vinyl Toupee — Vinyl Top in a Can
Rev-n-Go — Carburetor Decongestant
Retread Tire Deodorant (What a surprise. It’s a roll-on)
Easy Idle — A Warm Start to a Cold Morning
Creme-filled Gask-its — The Racetrack Treat

Mind you, given that most of these gags (Which seem to suggest that a lot of people at Pixar aren’t all that comfortable about the encroachment of middle age) can be only seen on race cars that are zooming by at 200 MPH, I seriously doubt that 90% of these jokes are ever going to register with most of the movie-going public. Which is why I thought that I’d share them here with you today.

That said, there is one gag that I’m pretty sure that virtually every child on the planet is going to get. By that I mean: Check out the brand name of Lightning McQueen’s tires. That’s not Goodyear, my friend, but Lightyear. As in Buzz Lightyear.

Anyway … As I said earlier, if you’re looking for a fun spot on the Web to kill some time today and/or want to learn more about this upcoming John Lasseter film, I suggest that you go drop by “Cars” on-line showroom.

Your thoughts?