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“The Three Musketeers” silences the (duck) call of the wild (babies)

You wanna know how good “The Three Musketeers” is? This film is so relentlessly entertaining that it actually made an auditorium full of sugar-crazed kids forget that they were packing duck calls.

I know, I know. The second sentence in the above paragraph verges on the incoherent. Please let me explain:

Last Monday morning, Nancy and I found ourselves on Hollywood Boulevard watching Donald Duck’s walk of fame ceremony. After that was completed, those who had gathered outside the El Capitan to watch this ceremony were then invited inside the theater to watch a special screening of “The Three Musketeers.”

Now keep in mind that one of the reasons that Hollywood’s Chamber of Commerce had reportedly agreed to give Donald a star on the walk of fame on August 9th was because that date was supposedly to be Donald Duck’s 70th birthday. So — given that this screening was supposed to be part of Donald’s birthday celebration — some entertaining soul within Buena Vista Home Entertainment supposedly thought that it might be fun to continue that birthday theme as the audience moved through the lobby and headed for the auditorium.

Which is why — as we entered the “Three Musketeers” screening — we were all handed a free soda, a free cupcake as well as a party favor. A duck call, to be exact.

Now keep in mind that — in order to make sure that this “Three Musketeers” screening had a full house — BVHE had also invited several LA area youth groups to attend the event at the El Cap. So there were about 100-150 kids at this screening. And each of these kiddies — as soon as they entered the theater — snarfed down that cupcake, guzzled their soda and then noisely began blowing into their duck call.

Now picture this, folks. You’re trapped inside of a packed theater. You’re surrounded by over a hundred sugar-crazed kiddies, each noisely blowing into a duck call. Does this sound like the start of a memorable movie-going experience to you?

And — given that those duck calls continued well into the short that was presented at the very start of last Monday’s screening (I.E. “The Wise Little Hen,” the 1934 Disney animated short in which Donald Duck made his official debut. Which I thought was a rather nice touch on the folks at Buena Vista Home Entertainment’s part to include this short as part of their “Three Musketeers” presentation. Anyway …) — I thought for sure that this screening was going to be completely ruined.

But then — wonder of wonders — “The Three Musketeers” comes up on the screen. And — by the time the credits were over — the duck calls had all fallen silent. I don’t know what it was about this Donovan Cook film, but — right from the start — the kids really got into the movie and quickly put away their duck calls.

Mind you, the adults at this El Capitan screening really got into “The Three Musketeers” as well. Of course, it’s easy to see why. Given the film’s beautiful backgrounds by Toby Bluth, its rousing score by Bruce Broughton, not to mention all of the great gags & bits of business that Cook & his crew stuffed into this video premiere.

Speaking of which … Seeing as I now know how well “The Three Musketeers” would have played had this film actually been released to theaters, I now genuinely think that it’s a shame that Disney didn’t at least give this BVHE production a brief run in the multiplexes. Then you — like I — could have marveled at how quickly this movie puts an audience under its spell.

By that I mean: During the “Three Musketeers” ‘s entire 68 minute running time, I bet I didn’t hear more than three stray duck calls. A couple of kids would ocassionally let out a single toot, only to be quickly shushed by those seated around them. The rest of the audience sat in respectful, thoroughily entertained silence. Why? Because thet were completely caught up in the picture.

Of course, once the film’s credits began to roll, the auditorium erupted in duck calls again. As if every kid at the El Cap were trying to signal their approval for the picture that they’d just seen by squawking merrily away.

Now — given that I have yet to view the DVD version of “The Three Musketeers” — I can’t really speak authoritatively about that BVHE release’s merits. But — having seen this film up on the big screen with a mostly duck-call-free audience — I have to tell you that I was pretty impressed. Both by “The Three Musketeers” as well as by the way this film won over that audience at the El Cap.

So if you’re looking for a way to entertain your family this week (Or if you’re looking for a way to keep the kiddies entertained as their summer vacation draws to a close), I can think of no better way to spend an hour or so than by watching BVHE’s new release, “The Three Musketeers.”

(I promise I’ll do a really-for-real review of “The Three Musketeers” [I understand that the DVD features — along with the film — a few cut scenes as well as some classic Disney shorts] just as soon as I get that DVD in hand. But for now … Well, I just thought you’d enjoy hearing about all those duck calls.)

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