Are you familiar with the musical “Chicago”?
Fred Ebb & John Kander wrote a great song for that show called “Razzle Dazzle” which talks about how you can literally get away with murder – provided, of course, that you put on a good show first.
“Razzle Dazzle” has so many great lyrics. It’s hard to settle on a favorite. Take — for example — this chunk:
Give ’em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give ’em the old hocus pocus
Bead and feather ’em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?
To start, I want to share one key couplet from this show tune:
Throw ’em a fake and a finagle
They’ll never know you’re just a bagel
Michael Eisner – Fix EPCOT Center
So it’s late September of 1984. And Michael Eisner has just been installed as the new head of The Walt Disney Company. One of Michael’s very first duties is to fix EPCOT Center – which is about to celebrate the second anniversary of its grand opening.
Mind you, no one in management at the Walt Disney World Resort much feels like celebrating this anniversary. Especially given that attendance levels at EPCOT have fallen through the floor.
You see, word has gotten out among the theme park-going public that EPCOT Center — while beautiful designed & well-meaning — is a bagel. Not an Everything Bagel, or even an Onion Bagel or a Sesame Seed Bagel. But just a plain ordinary bagel.
So Michael needs to find a way to make this bagel not seem quite so plain. Now you have to remember that Eisner came over to Disney from Paramount. Which was the hottest studio in Hollywood in the early 1980s.
So when Michael had a genuinely terrible movie during his days at Paramount …
How Eisner Fixed “Staying Alive”
Example: “Staying Alive,” the 1983 sequel to Paramount’s mega-hit from 1977, “Saturday Night Fever.” “Staying Alive” was so terrible — it got such miserable reviews nearly 40 years ago — it has the distinction of being the oldest film on Rotten Tomatoes to get a 0% freshness rating. As in: There are NO good reviews out there anywhere for this Sylvester Stallone movie.
Yes, I know. I said a “Sylvester Stallone movie.” Though John Travolta may have been the star, reprising his role as Tony Manero from “Saturday Night Fever,” Stallone not only directed this movie, he also co-wrote & co-produced this Paramount Pictures production. Because — of course — when you’re thinking of mounting a modern movie musical, the very first name that immediately comes to mind is Sylvester Stallone.
Anyway, Michael sees the rough cut of “Staying Alive” prior to its release to theaters in July of 1983 and realizes that it’s a dud. But then Eisner decides that — in this particular situation — the best defense is a good offense. So Michael first has “Staying Alive” booked on 1660 screens nationwide. Eisner then sends Travolta & Stallone on this giant publicity tour, where this pair appears on every morning news program and every late night talk show.
The end result is … Despite withering reviews, “Staying Alive” has the biggest opening weekend for a modern movie musical. It sold $12.1 million worth of tickets in North America. A record that this Sylvester Stallone movie held for 9 years ‘til Disney’s “Aladdin” opened in theaters in November of 1992 and then sold $19.2 million worth of tickets over its opening weekend in North America.
So Michael obviously knew the value of celebrity. That the right name — applied in the right way, of course — could quickly turn around the public’s reception of a project.
Eisner Adds Celebrities in EPCOT Center
So when it came to EPCOT Center — which the public thought of as … Well .. Earnest. Educational. But not all that entertaining. Well, the quickest fix here was to throw a few celebrities at this theme park.
But where to start? How about with EPCOT’s thesis attraction, Spaceship Earth. This 180-foot-tall geodesic sphere was typically the very first thing that Guests encountered as they entered this theme park. It was also usually the very first Future World attraction that Guests queued up for.
So who did Disney originally get to narrate EPCOT’s thesis attraction? The really big show at this theme park? Vic Perrin.
There will now be a short pause for those of you who need to say “Who?”
FYI: Jack Benny did a variation of this very same gag when he made his debut on radio back in May of 1932. 90 years ago this month. What he said at that time was “This is Jack Benny talking. There will now be a short pause while you say ‘Who cares?’”
Anyway … If you’re a fan of the original “Star Trek” series, maybe you’ll recall Perrin’s brief appearances on that legendary TV show. He appeared as the two Tharns in “Mirror, Mirror.” Also as the voice of Nomad in “The Changeling.”
Speaking of Perrin’s voice … If you know your 1960s sci-fi television series, maybe you remember “The Outer Limits.” Which was ABC’s response to the success of “The Twilight Zone.” Which aired over on CBS.
Vic was the voice you heard at the very start of “The Outer Limits.” “There is nothing wrong with your television set. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical.”
That’s the theory, anyway, as to how Vic Perrin got the gig of narrating “Spaceship Earth” as well as EPCOT’s “Universe of Energy” pavilion. That there was a senior member of the Imagineering team who really liked “Star Trek” or “The Outer Limits” and then hired Perrin to be the voice of two Future World attractions which then sat side-by-side.
I’ve often wondered about visitors to the original version of EPCOT Center who — after they’d experienced Spaceship Earth — then went over to “Universe of Energy” only to then think “The Outer Limits Guy again? Really?”
So no disrespect to Vic. But Mr. Perrin — at least as far as Michael Eisner was concerned — wasn’t really a name. And if Eisner was looking to make EPCOT Center suddenly seem … Well, sexy & exciting, the thesis attraction for this theme park was going to need a name narrator. Someone that the Guests would immediately recognize from the very first second the narration of that attraction got underway.
But who would that be?
Bringing Back “The Disney Sunday Night Movie”
Let’s jump ahead now to the Summer of 1985. Where Walt Disney Productions has just cut a deal with ABC to revive the Studio’s Sunday Night anthology. Which started out life as “Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Color,” changed — upon Walt’s death in December of 1966 — to “The Wonderful World of Disney.” That long-running show — which eventually moved from NBC to CBS — went off the air in September of 1983. Largely because the Company didn’t want people to be getting Disney content for free anymore after the Disney Channel had officially launched in April of that same year.
But now Michael Eisner was in charge of the Mouse House. And he wanted Disney back on network TV — if only for the sort of exposure a show like that would get. Which is why the Studios was now readying a new two-hour-long movie of the week series (which would be called — appropriately enough — “The Disney Sunday Night Movie”) for launch in early February of 1986.
But then the question was … Who would be the host of “The Disney Sunday Night Movie” show? Walt had done such a wonderful job of hosting “The Wonderful World of Color” in the 1960s that he was deemed a tough act to follow. But since the thinking was — at that time, anyway — that this show needed an MC of some time … Well, a casting call went out and some legendary entertainers were considered for the role. Among the original candidates were:
- Dick Van Dyke (kind of a no-brainer, given Dick’s ties to the Studio’s then-biggest hit, “Mary Poppins”)
- Danny Kaye (Also kind of a no-brainer. But given how miserably Kaye had behaved during the making of the EPCOT Center grand opening TV special — at one point, Danny deliberately dropped his pants on camera as he was directing the West Point choir, going out of his way to ruin a shot that had taken hours to set up — Kaye was quickly dropped from the candidate list)
- Peter Graves (The star of TV’s “Mission: Impossible.” Also Eisner had worked with Graves on “Airplane!,” which had been a huge hit for Paramount Pictures in the Summer of 1980. Michael liked Peter personally)
But because Eisner wanted “The Disney Sunday Night Movie” to be perceived as important … Well, he wanted a really big name to serve as the host of the revival of this long-running show. Someone like — well — the most trusted man in America.
Walter Cronkite – The Most Trusted Man in America
And in the mid-1980s, when you said a phrase like that (i.e., The most trusted man in America), only one name came up. And that was legendary newsman Walter Cronkite. Who — in March of 1981 — had stepped down as the anchor of “The CBS Evening News” after a 19 year run on that news program. Cronkite handed off that job to Dan Rather, who then went on anchor “The CBS Evening News” for a longer stint than Walter did. Rather stayed on in that job through March of 2005. Some 24 years, only to then be forced to step away from the CBS news desk because Dan got caught up in a scandal related to then-President George W. Bush’s supposed service with the Texas Air National Guard.
Okay. So it’s now four years after Walter has effectively retired from CBS (Cronkite still kept his hand in, though. Building on his years as a field correspondent covering the North Africa & European campaigns, Walter narrated a series of documentaries about the War entitled “World War II with Walter Cronkite.” That multi-part series began airing in 1983). And the question then became “Well, how did we get ahold of this nearly 70-year-old man? Make him aware that we want him to come in & audition for the role of host / MC on the ‘Disney Sunday Night Movie’ ?”
This is when Walt’s nephew — Roy E. Disney — stepped up and said “Leave that to me.” You see, Roy E. was an enthusiastic sailor. And he knew that Cronkite shared this passion. So Roy E. quickly arranged a trip out to Martha’s Vineyard (which is where Walter had retired to) and then — through friends there — set up a meet with Cronkite.
And I have to say that — from what I’ve been told — Cronkite was genuinely flattered by this offer. He had huge respect for the Disney organization. But as Walter reportedly told Roy E. “I’m retired now. I don’t want the hassle that comes with working on a weekly show. Besides, Walt Disney is a tough act to follow.”
So Walter politely but firmly turned that MC / hosting gig down. Which is how — almost by default — Michael Eisner then became the MC / host of “The Disney Sunday Night Movie.” By Michael’s own admission, he was initially terrible at this job. Eisner’s own wife Jane reportedly told him that he looked terrible on camera. Awkward & stiff. But Michael kept at it. He even hired Michael Kay, who was this political consultant who specialized in creating campaign ads that made politicians who were just terrible in front of the camera look natural & folksy. Kay began working with Eisner on improving his on-camera performance. And over time, Michael got better at his hosting gig.
Getting Walter Cronkite into EPCOT Center
Back to Walter Cronkite now … Now that the Company had opened a line of communications with the most trusted man in America, the question now was: How do we take advantage of this? It was clear — from what Walter had told Roy E. — that he wasn’t willing to take on a full-time gig at this time. But what about a project that would only take up — say — a day or so of Mr. Cronkite’s schedule?
And remember: This is when Michael Eisner was looking to bedazzle EPCOT Center. Get some celebrities inserted into this Park to make it seem more excited & entertaining. You have to remember that this is late 1985 / early 1986. And the Company had already announced its deals with Michael Jackson & George Lucas. Which would — in just a few short months — result in the opening of “Captain EO,” that 3D sci-fi music video something-or-other.
The downside was … “Captain EO” was woefully behind schedule. This 17-minute-long film had begun production in July of 1985 and was then supposed to be the new thing for the Parks for the Summer of 1986. But by the late Winter / early Spring of that same year, it became obvious that “EO” just wasn’t going to be ready in time. There were still just too many FX shots that needed to be completed before this new 4D film could then be shown to Guests. So having this show ready by Memorial Day 1986 was no longer an option.
So what then to do to give EPCOT Center something to market as “new for the Summer of 1986” ? It was this point that someone at Imagineering came up with the idea of bringing in Walter Cronkite to re-record Vic Perrin’s narration for “Spaceship Earth.” Which would then give Michael Eisner something that he’d been asking for. Which was that EPCOT get a little star power. Add a celebrity or too.
Walter Cronkite’s “Spaceship Earth” Script
So they contacted Cronkite. Who quickly agreed to the gig. That said, the revised version of the “Spaceship Earth” script that Walter was given to read was very different than the one Vic Perrin had been given to record back in 1980. It cut a lot of the poetic imagery that Ray Bradbury had originally written.
Here’s the opening of the original version of Spaceship Earth:
Where have we come from, where are we going? In the dust from which we were formed, answers recorded on the walls of time. So let us journey into that past, to seek those walls, to know ourselves and to probe the destiny of our Spaceship Earth.
Now, suns reverse, moons re-phase, let us return to ancient caves where first we learn to share our thoughts … and to survive.
And here’s how the Walter Cronkite version of the opening of “Spaceship Earth” went. First there was an actual introduction:
AT&T welcomes you to Spaceship Earth and invites you to explore the story of communications. And now your host, Walter Cronkite.
Then Walter began speaking:
For eons, our planet has drifted as a spaceship through the universe. And for a brief moment, we have been its passengers. Yet in that time, we’ve made tremendous progress in our ability to record and share knowledge. So, lets journey back 40,000 years to the dawn of recorded history.
Far less poetry. More putting-the-hay-down-where-the-goats-can-get-at-it style narration.
I’m told that Walter recorded his narration for “Spaceship Earth” in April of 1986. The Imagineers spent the next few weeks editing that recording and then doing the final mix. Once that was done … Well, this Future World attraction was then briefly closed to allow installation of this new material.
1986 “Spaceship Earth” Additions and Adjustments
And when I say “briefly,” I mean briefly. Like three days total. May 26 – 28, 1986. On the morning of May 29th, the very first Guests climbed aboard those ride vehicles at the base of Spaceship Earth and then heard Walter Cronkite as this Future World attraction’s new narrator.
Other tiny tweaks that were made to “Spaceship Earth” during its three day-long shut down:
- The fog machine that was previously located on the load hill was removed. Replaced by twinkle lights (which were supposed to simulate stars)
- Two new scenes were added to the very topmost portion of “Spaceship Earth” ‘s ride track (just before the network operations center scene). These were still tableaus. To on the left side of the track, a scene was shoehorned in showing a woman working in a “paperless office.” And on the right side, a scene that showed a boy in his bedroom looking at a personal computer was added.
- On the load hill going down to the off-load area, images of happy children were added to better underlined the theme song for “Spaceship Earth” ‘s descending section, “Tomorrow’s Child”.
That’s all they could do in three days time. Contrast this with “Spaceship Earth” ‘s next redo, which went from August 15th – November 23rd, 1994. Three months long. Lots of show scenes changed.
Walter Cronkite at Disney-MGM Studios
Cronkite really enjoyed worked on the “Spaceship Earth” redo. So much so that — when the Imagineers reached out just two years later and asked with Walter would be willing to be paired with Robin Williams to then serve as the co-host of “The Magic of Disney Animation” which was being prepped for the then-still-under-construction Disney-MGM Studio Tour, Cronkite immediately said “Yes.”
That said, Walter really didn’t get Robin’s off-the-wall humor. There’s a behind-the-scenes / blooper reel of sorts out there for “The Magic of Disney Animation.” And it shows a lot of alternate jokes that Williams tried out for this attraction, followed by Walter looking at Robin like he’s an idiot.
1986 EPCOT Center Celebrity Upgrade
Back to the Summer of 1986 now … Guest surveys taken between June & July of that year showed that the Guests thought having Walter Cronkite as the narrator for “Spaceship Earth” was a huge positive. Approval ratings for this Future World attraction reportedly went up by 15 points just based on Cronkite’s name recognition (Though the new less flowery version of this ride’s narration obviously helped too).
“Captain EO” opened in September of that same year and also wowed EPCOT Center visitors. And by this point, Michael was determined to bedazzle Future World.
The Wonders of Life theatre show “Cranium Command” attraction originally had an all-animated supporting cast. At Eisner’s insistence, most of the animated sections of this attraction were dropped and then replaced with footage of celebrities:
- Charles Grodin — right brain
- Jon Lovitz — left brain
- Dana Carvey & Kevin Nealon — Hans & Franz (Left & right ventricle)
- Bobcat Goldthwait — Nervous system
- George Wendt — Stomach
“Wonders of Life” pavilion opened in October of 1989. Martin Short started in “The Making of Me.” Tim Matheson & Elizabeth Shue starred in “Body Wars.” Which was directed by Leonard Nimoy.
EPCOT then embraced celebrities & characters and never looked back.
This article is based on research for The Disney Dish Podcast “Episode 376”, published on May 30, 2022. The Disney Dish Podcast is part of the Jim Hill Media Podcast Network.