Greetings from the road, kids.
This particular “Why For” is coming at you from deep inside a somewhat rundown Quality Inn in Woodbridge, VA. Nancy and I are currently en route to Orlando, where — later this weekend — we’ll be holding the beta test for JHM’s Disney World tours. (Wish us luck.)
As I write this, It’s 7:30am or thereabouts. Nancy’s still crashed out in the bed across the way. But I’m already showered and dressed. And — now I’ve succeeded in getting our laptop set up on the bedside — I going to try to cobble together this week’s “Why For” column.
Mind you, so Nancy can get a bit more sleep, I’ve left the lights off. So — if you find more typos than usual as you read this piece — well, that’s the reason. Not my Maynard, MA public school education.
Okay. Enough with the ridiculous yammering. Let’s get started, shall we?
First, Roger writes:
Jim:
I read recently that the Disney Channel has cancelled both “Lizzie McGuire” and “Even Stevens.” What’s up with that? Aren’t these two of their biggest shows? They show them constantly. Why would they cancel them when the Disney Channel is finally getting some traction in the tween market? In the case of “Lizzie McGuire,” is this some kind of ploy to get kids to go see the movie?
Thanks!
Roger
Dear Roger:
No, this isn’t a crass ploy on Disney’s part to artificially boost attendance levels for “The Lizzie McGuire Movie” … which, by the way, (gratuitous promotional plug coming in 5-4-3-2 …) opens in theaters nationwide today! Be sure to go see this fine motion picture multiple times! (Note to Walt Disney Pictures Promotional Department: You can send my check to the usual address. Thanks, jrh.)
ANYWAY … no, the really reason that Disney Channel executives cancelled both “Lizzie McGuire” and “Even Stevens” after only 65 episodes of each show were produced was because … well … that’s all they needed.
Let me explain, Roger: Television today — particularly cable television — is a bottom line driven operation. Where executives are always trying to maximize their company’s profits by spending as little money as possible on actual production.
So what’s the deal with shooting just 65 episodes? Why not 100 or 200? Ah, but 65’s the magic number, Roger. Once you have 65 episodes in the can, then it’s easy to strip a show. As in: show a television program 5 nights a week for 13 weeks in a row without repeating a single episode. 65 episodes is the absolute rock bottom number you need if you’re looking to successfully syndicate your program.
So that what’s really going on here, Roger. It’s not some vast conspiracy on Disney’s part. It’s just a numbers games. 65 episodes of “Even Stevens” and “Lizzie McGuire” is all the Disney Channel needed in order to be able to successfully (more importantly, profitably) run both of these particular programs ’til the end of time. Which is why — once 65 episodes were in the can — Mickey automatically shut down production of these shows. No questions asked.
Given the number of on-line petitions to save both “Lizzie McGuire” and “Even Stevens,” this clearly isn’t what the tweens want. But the desperate cries of 9- to 13-year-old Hillary Duff and Shia LeBoeuf fans doesn’t much matter to Disney Channel executives. These young girls can send angry e-mails to this cable channel’s Burbank headquarters ’til the cows come home … but it’s not going to ever change the mind of these programming execs. As I pointed out, they’ve already got all the episodes that they need to successfully and profitably rerun “Lizzie McGuire” and “Even Stevens” forever. Which is why — in spite of all these pre-teen protests — these shows are cancelled and they’re going to stay cancelled.
Besides … there are other divisions of the Walt Disney Company who are now downright eager to cash in the popularity of the young stars of these Disney Channel programs. I’m told that Walt Disney Pictures is positively giddy at the $36.8 million that “Holes” has pulled in to date. Which is why they’re quickly trying to put together a follow-up project for the young star of that film, former “Even Stevens” regular Shia LeBeouf.
And Disney Pictures execs are said to be equally optimistic about “The Lizzie McGuire Movie” prospects at the box office. As you may have already noticed, they’re marketing this particular motion picture to the hilt … with the hope that every pre-teen girl in North America will head out to her local multiplex this coming weekend to see Hillary Duff on the big screen.
Should “The Lizzie McGuire Movie” be a significant enough success, Disney studios execs are reportedly talking about launching a series of Lizzie movies. Where this somewhat adorable tween / teen would have affordable adventures in colorful locations around the globe. (Think “Gidget Goes to Rome” updated for the new millenium.)
Clearly, the Mouse expects big things from Ms. Duff. That’s why they’ve already put her to work in a somewhat prestigious project: a big-screen remake of “Cheaper by the Dozen” starring Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt. Hillary’s supposed to play the eldest daughter in Martin and Hunt’s oversized family.
However, if “The Lizzie McGuire Movie” somehow manages to miss the mark and underperforms at the box office … well, not to worry. Disney’s already got a contingency plan in place. ABC (at least according to a recent TV Guide article) has already had conversations with Ms. Duff about bringing Lizzie McGuire to prime time. As in: building a whole new TV series around that character’s adventures in high school.
So what’s going to happen next? Well, a lot depends on how well “The Lizzie McGuire Movie” does this week. So be sure and rush out to see it at a theater near you this weekend. (Memo to Walt Disney Pictures Promotional Department: Okay. That’s two plugs. That means I now get two checks, right?)
Moving on now …
Next Benjamin Ackerman writes in to ask:
Hey, Jim:
I gotta say that I love your site and read it daily. My “Why For” question: What’s up with the rumors about Disney opening a park in Texas? There’s several web sites out there detailing rumors of land purchases, but that’s pretty much all the detail anyone has. Is Disney in the early stages of planning a park in that neck of the woods, have they abandoned plans ore were there any plans in the first place? Thanks and long live JimHillMedia.com!
Benjamin:
Thanks for all the kind words regarding JimHillMedia. I just wish that I had some better news for you.
To the best of my knowledge, all this talk about Disney planning to build a theme park in Texas is just that: talk. Over the past 5 to 7 years, this rumor has persisted in one form or another. And one forum or another. With some webmasters spinning out elaborate scenarios about that this project will be how the Mouse will ultimately revive “Disney’s America” … by building a “Disney’s Wild, Wild West” theme park deep in the heart in the heart of Texas which will be loaded with Americana-based attractions … not to mention a grand and glorious new version of Disney World’s long-delayed “Western River Expedition” ride.
Would that these rumors were true, Benjamin. But every Imagineer that I’ve talked to lately about a new Disney theme park in Texas has looked at me like I had two heads.
Don’t get me wrong, Benjamin. Given that the Walt Disney Company over the past 40 years has given some very serious thought to building new theme park projects in Virginia, Missouri and even upstate New York, it’s quite possible that — at one time or another — the Mouse toyed with building something in Texas.
I mean, I know for certain that — back in the mid-1990s, when the Walt Disney Company was positively eager to get into the location-based entertainment business — that the Lone Star State was aggressively scouted for locations for new “Disney Clubs” and “DisneyQuests.” Likewise — back in the early 1990s, when WDI was thinking that WDW’s “Pleasure Island” concept might actually be franchisable — Disney operatives quietly poked around Houston and Dallas (in addition to Boston, New York City, and Philadelphia) to see if there might be an attractive, affordable site out there for a new night-time entertainment, dining, and retail complex.
But — in the end — Disney opted to stick with its knitting. I.E. Concentrate on making their already-existing Anaheim and Orlando operations as profitable as popular. Which is why the very idea that Mickey might try to launch a Texas theme park project — particularly given that both the Walt Disney World Resort as well as the newly expanded Disneyland Resort aren’t exactly performing to expectations — just doesn’t seem feasible. At least right now.
If you’d like to read my earlier thoughts on this matter, head over to Arlen Miller’s “Dreamfinder” site. Where — in addition to all the intriguing items that Mr. Miller has up for sale in his various Disney-related auctions — you can check out this article I wrote ‘way back when about this very same subject. Back in the days when I was ghostwriting for Arlen. Even before I started using pseudonyms like J. Thaddeus Weasel and MooCow.
Speaking of which … let me give a brief shout-out here to Mr. Miller: Hey, Arlen! I’ll be down in Central Florida today through the 7th. If you’re free while I’m in town, I’d love to come by and say “Hi” to you and the dogs.
Okay … that’s it for this week. Sorry to be so short today. But Nancy’s finally up. Which means it’s time to pack the car and — shortly — hit the road again. We’ve got “miles to go before we rest” again.
Talk to you all earlier next week, okay?
Til then, take care, okay?
jrh