Theme Parks & Themed Entertainment

How I Walked Around the World

In the exciting conclusion to his on-going series at this site, JHM contributor Paul Schnebelen recounts his experiences in the 2005 Walt Disney World Marathon.

Published

20 years ago

January 30, 2005

Paul Schnebelen

It’s 5:30 on a Sunday morning, and I’m at Walt Disney World. Most people

on vacation at the World early on a Sunday morning would be fast asleep

under a set of warm covers in a hotel room, but not me. I’ve been awake

since 2:30 in the morning and since then, I’ve been bussed, walked, and

otherwise moved several times from one place to another on the WDW property.

Now, I’m sitting on a section of blacktop surrounded by a plastic fence,

freezing half to death wearing some very light running clothes and a ratty

old sweatshirt, but the cold is the least of my worries at the moment.

I’m worried about an incredible physical and mental challenge that will

be starting in just a few minutes. I’m worried that, in spite of months

of preparation and years of anticipation, I’m not ready for this challenge.

I’m worried that some minor aches and pains in my body might be harbingers

of a major problem that might develop in the hours ahead. Mainly, though,

I’m wondering what I was thinking when I decided to do what I’m about

to do. What possessed me to think that walking in a marathon was a good

idea? What the hell am I doing here?

Two years ago, my fiancée and I were on vacation at WDW when I

met my first marathon runners and got my first look at the Mickey Medallion.

When I talked to those people and first saw the medallion, I began thinking

that participating in the Walt Disney World Marathon wasn’t just something

that a world-class athlete could do, but something that anyone with enough

heart and desire could do. To make a long story short (for the long version,

you can read all about it here

), I decided that I had the heart and desire to make my dream a reality,

and I started on a long regimen of training to make it happen. Two years

of practice walks, several races (including a successful walk in the Los

Angeles Marathon), a couple of injuries, and a few personal setbacks later,

I’m only minutes away from living my dream of walking around the World.

And I’m panicking.

Fortunately, I’m not alone. There are about 24,000 people on this same

stretch of blacktop just outside of the Epcot parking lot, waiting for

their chance to make their marathon and half-marathon dreams come true,

and they’re just as anxious and nervous as I am. They’re not packing up

and going home, so neither will I. I try to relax, stretch to limber up

for the race ahead, and try to tune out the incredibly loud dance music

playing over the loudspeakers as I wait for the final countdown.

5:59 a.m.: Mickey, Minnie, and two Disney hosts who are perkier than

should be legal at this hour of the morning start counting down the seconds

remaining until the start of the race. The crowd counts along, and when

the count reaches zero, a shower of fireworks lights up the early morning

darkness. The crowd starts edging forward. Showtime.

6:07 a.m.: It takes a lot of time to go a few hundred feet when there

are 8,000 people in front of you, but Mickey and Minnie are finally in

sight. I cross the starting line, and my race has officially begun. Here

goes nothing.

6:21 a.m.: After walking down a road to the Epcot parking lot and being

encouraged by several hundred cheering people on the side of the road,

I reach a sign with a picture of Mickey and a motivational quote. It’s

the Mile 1 marker sign. One mile down, 25.2 more to go. (Oh, yeah – I

really shouldn’t be reminding myself how far I have to go at this point!)

More than a few of my fellow walkers and runners are celebrating this

milestone by heading a few hundred feet past the side of the road and

going to the potty. This isn’t due to poor planning by the WDW marathon

organizers or boorish behavior on the part of my fellow racers. It’s just

that once you start moving and the initial excitement of the race hits

you, you just feel like you’ve really gotta go, and there aren’t enough

porta-potties in the world to meet the needs of 24,000 people who all

decide they’ve got to answer nature’s call at the same time. Personally,

I’ve decided to hold on for a while longer rather than join them- I’ve

head about all the critters that live out in those woods…

6:42 a.m.: I’m almost 3 miles into the race and I’ve reached my first

theme park. I walk past another several hundred people cheering the racers

on and under Spaceship Earth on my way through Future World. The Disney

cast members get their first chance to show their support for all of us;

as I walk under the holiday canopy between Future World and World Showcase,

cast members from all of the World Showcase nations applaud and cheer

me on. In World Showcase Lagoon, the Illuminations torches burn brightly

and the globe from the show displays an image of a man and a woman running.

On the park’s PA system, I’m being serenaded by “One Little Spark”

from “Journey into Imagination”. It’s going to be going through

my head – with some new marathon-inspired lyrics – all day today.

Passing Future World, I swing past the Mexico and Norway pavilions (past

the statue of a famous Norwegian marathoner – nice touch, Disney), and

hang a left as the course takes the walkers backstage for the first time.

I get to see the back side of the Mexico and Norway pavilions and Test

Track before I pass through the Epcot security gate and…wind up right

back on to the same stretch of road where the race started! 4 miles in

and I’m already feeling déjà vu…

7:27 a.m.: The first challenge of the morning – a hill. Well, all right,

not a real hill – after all, this is Florida – but the WDW Marathon equivalent,

a freeway bridge. Walking uphill isn’t too much of a challenge (at least

not at this point), and at the top of the bridge, I get my first inkling

of how large a group 24,000 people really is; looking down from the bridge

onto World Drive, I can see a river of people running and walking toward

the Magic Kingdom. A few minutes later, having completed 6 miles, I’m

down on World Drive myself and I can see even more people still crossing

the bridge. I have no illusions of being a fast walker, yet I’ve got hundreds,

if not thousands, of people who are going slower than I am behind me!

Knowing I’m not going to be dead last in this race unless I get trampled

on is a nice bit of ego gratification that keeps me going all the way

to the Transportation and Ticket Center. Once there, I find another large

crowd of people cheering me on and calling out words of encouragement

to me by name. No, they’re not all friends of mine or psychic – the race

bib (that’s the thing the runners and walkers wear with their race number)

has the participant’s name on it. The WDW Marathon has a reputation for

being a very friendly race for runners and walkers, and touches like this

really help.

8:17 a.m.: I make a left turn at the Contemporary Resort, pass the marker

for Mile 10 and a security gate near Space Mountain, and as I walk through

an underpass I see it – the spires of Cinderella Castle. Welcome to the

Magic Kingdom. A quick dash through a backstage area and I’m walking down

the middle of Main Street U.S.A., with yet another gigantic throng of

people cheering me on! I’m amazed that so many people would come out incredibly

early on a Sunday morning (they would have had to get here long before

the theme parks open to the paying public) just to show their support

for the runners and walkers.

Cinderella Castle is just ahead, but the course doesn’t take me there

just yet – first I’ve got to walk through Tomorrowland and Fantasyland

before I get the big Kodak moment of walking through the castle entrance.

There are plenty of other Kodak moments to keep me and everyone else busy

in the meantime, though – the Disney characters are out in force to meet

and greet the runners. I decide I can afford to add a little to my official

time and stop for a picture with Lilo and Stitch.

I pass up on photos with Alice and the Tweedles, Goofy, and the Country

Bears, but I can’t resist taking a picture with a train crew and a Walt

Disney World Railroad engine before going backstage again in Frontierland.

This is definitely a race where you want to bring a camera with you, folks!

8:52 a.m.: I walk out of the backstage areas of the Magic Kingdom and

down Floridian Way past the Grand Floridian and the Wedding Pavilion (where

there cast members are out to greet the runners in bride and groom Mickey

and Minnie ears). The voice of Mickey echoes down the road, telling the

runners and walkers to split up depending on whether they’re participating

in the half-marathon or the marathon. The half-marathon runners are picking

up speed and the crowds at the side of the road are going positively wild

– and why not? The half-marathoners are only a few feet away from the

Transportation and Ticket Center parking lot and their finish line. They’ve

made it! So far, the weather’s been perfect – the sun is out now, but

up to now it’s been a little chilly, which is perfect running weather.

I’m feeling pretty good – I’m little sore and stiff in the shoulders,

and my left ankle’s bothering me just a touch, but I feel pretty good.

The thing is, I’m only half done. There’s still 13 miles to go, and it’s

starting to get a little warm…

9:05 a.m.: In the space of a mile, I’ve gone from being in the middle

of all the action to being in the middle of nowhere. I’m walking down

a little two-lane road that most guests normally wouldn’t travel on unless

they had made a wrong turn; we’re in the back woods, the undeveloped section

of the WDW property. I find myself trying to get the theme from “Deliverance”

out of my head.

Actually, the WDW Marathon organizers have recognized how lonely this

stretch of the race is and have arranged for a few diversions to keep

the racers’ minds distracted from the quiet and the increasing soreness

of their bodies. First, there are Disney trivia questions on signs (quick,

who’s the only Disney title character that never speaks?). Not distracting

enough? Well, next up are several “critter crossings”, where

Disney characters are standing on the side of the road giving encouragement

and posing for photographs; I decide to pass on Uncle Scrooge, Launchpad

McQuack, Flik, and Atta, but can’t resist getting pictures with the White

Rabbit and Br’er Rabbit as well as Koda and Kenai.

There’s a local high school band and drill team out playing fight songs

to keep us in the spirit. But I think my favorite distraction during this

part of the race is the stuff that Disney is hoping the racers won’t notice

– the backstage facilities, like the tree farm, the maintenance shops,

and the composting facility. (Let’s be honest here – there aren’t enough

Disney characters and bands in the world to distract you from the smell

of the composting facility. Phew!)

9:32 a.m.: I’m past Mile 16, and I’ve made it to the guard gate of my

third theme park of the race – Disney’s Animal Kingdom. You don’t really

get a feel for how big this place really is until you go backstage, folks;

by the time I’ve gone through the park and left via a cast entrance not

far from the main entrance, I will have walked another two miles.

The other thing I notice about the park right now is how well Disney has

hidden the fences and the enclosures from the guests; I’ve hardly ever

noticed the barriers when I’ve gone through the guest areas at DAK, but

backstage the place reminds me a lot of something I saw in “Jurassic

Park”.

At this point, I’m surprised I’m noticing much of anything other than

the heat and my aches and pains. The Florida sun is making its full force

felt, and even with all the water I’ve been drinking from my bottle and

from the water stations, I’m starting to feel a little parched. My body’s

making it clear that it’s not very happy with me at the moment; parts

of my body I hardly notice most of the time are starting to ache. Fortunately,

my body’s only mildly displeased with me right now, and there are no signs

of any real injury, so I press on.

I walk into the guest areas of the park – being careful to watch for

the narrow paths, as Minnie’s warning me via the park’s loudspeakers.

After a quick dash through Harambe and Anandpur, I get my first look at

the skeleton of an iron mountain. In a year or two, this tall iron structure

will be thrilling guests as Expedition: Everest. Even now, when it’s nowhere

near completion, it looks to me like it’s going to be one wild ride.

10:23 a.m.: Having left the Animal Kingdom parking lot, I’m now walking

the longest straight legs of the race – about 4 miles up and back down

Osceola Parkway. I’ve got another freeway bridge to deal with here, only

it’s a lot more of a challenge to walk up the bridge this time. 19 miles

of walking will do that to you, even though I’ve been careful to consume

the packets of power gel that I’ve brought with me in my pack.

(Before we continue, I guess I should take a moment to explain: Because

you’re burning about 100 calories per every mile you walk in a long-distance

race, your body’s own stores of energy become more and more depleted the

farther you go, and you need to eat something to keep you going – preferably

something with a lot of sugar and/or caffeine that’s small and easy to

carry. The most common solution is to eat packets of “power gel”

or “goo”, which is an incredibly sweet, pasty gel that comes

in small packets and tastes like yogurt that’s been left in the sun for

too long. If you’re really curious about this stuff, you can pick up a

packet at your local sporting goods store. Don’t say I didn’t warn you

about the taste.)

I pass giant balloons of Disney characters like Nemo and Mr. Incredible,

but by now I’m getting too hot, sore, and tired to care. By now, I’m grabbing

two cups of water at each water station – one to drink, one to pour on

my head. Then, I see something that really excites me – a small sign at

the side of the road reading “Mile 20”. I think I’m going to

make it. No – I know I’m going to make it.

11:05 a.m.: I walk on a couple of overpasses, noticing that even slight

inclines are now getting to be a challenge, and then enter the Disney-MGM

Studios. I’m not sure what’s keeping my feet moving at this point, but,

hey, as long as they’re moving! People are lined up all along Hollywood

Boulevard cheering me on – I swear they get more enthusiastic as I get

more tired, but I love getting their support. I have to stop for one last

photo opportunity before I leave the park with Hercules, Phil, and Megara.

I think it’s another nice touch for them to be out here greeting the racers.

Call it the Disney character challenge – Hercules can go the distance,

how about you?

11:55 a.m.: After walking through the BoardWalk, over – groan – another

pedestrian bridge and past the Yacht and Beach Club, I pass through a

gate near the International Gateway and re-enter Epcot. All I have to

do is walk around World Showcase, past Spaceship Earth, through the main

entrance, and I’m done. The end of the race is tantalizingly close – I

passed Mile 25 entering the park – but right now, I’m as willing to stop

as I am to keep going. (Later on, a reporter for the Orlando Sentinel

who’s running the marathon will write that at this point he wished he’d

had a Fastpass for the remainder of the race. You and me both, buddy.)

At this point in the race, I and many other racers go into “one more

mile” mode; that’s the point where the only way you can keep moving

is by telling yourself, “I feel pretty awful and I’m exhausted, but

I know I can go for just one more mile.” The folks watching me from

the side of the path are going crazy and keep yelling how much farther

I have to go to the finish line. Funny, Epcot never seemed this big all

the other times I’ve been here…

12:07 p.m.: I walk out the Epcot main entrance, make a couple of quick

turns, and there it is – the finish line! There’s a row of bleachers lining

the path, and they’re full of people going wild, and at the end of the

row, Goofy and Pluto are giving out high fives to the folks who are just

about to cross the line. I’d love to sprint right over there, but I haven’t

got the energy for it; I’m just going to keep walking, slap some paw with

Goofy and Pluto and savor the moment. I’ve done it! I’ve finished the

Walt Disney World Marathon! A volunteer hands me a Mylar blanket, another

volunteer takes the time recording device off my shoe, and most importantly,

a third volunteer comes up and hands me this massive medallion with Mickey

Mouse ears hanging on a multi-colored ribbon. It’s probably not worth

more than a few dollars, but at this moment, it’s worth more to me than

its weight in gold, silver, and platinum combined. I’m so tired and so

excited that none of this seems real. Then various parts of my body start

feeling stiff and sore. Yep, it’s real.

The rest of the day passes in a daze. I get a post-race massage at the

medical tent to help lessen the pain and the soreness, I find my fiancée

in the post-race meeting area, and we head off back to our room so I can

take a shower, get a well-deserved nap, and cover about half my body with

Icy-Hot. I’ll be walking a little stiffly for the next couple of days,

and I’ll be dealing with muscle cramps and spasms in places where I didn’t

realize I had muscles, but I don’t care. I’ve done something I’ve wanted

to do for more than two years – something that a lot of people never do.

The next day, I walk around all day wearing my Mickey medallion. I’m

not doing it to brag or to show off, though .I’m hoping that it’ll inspire

someone the way seeing that Mickey medallion in 2003 inspired me; I’m

hoping that maybe somebody will look at me and my medallion and decide

that maybe, just maybe, if this average-looking guy can manage to run

a whole marathon, he or she can do it, too.

If you’ve been inspired by this story to make your dreams of walking

around the World come true, registration is now open for the 2006 Walt

Disney World Half-Marathon and Marathon; the races will be held on January

7th and 8th. More information and online registration forms can be found

at http://www.disneyworldmarathon.com.

Television & Shows

The Untold Story of Super Soap Weekend at Disney-MGM Studios: How Daytime TV Took Over the Parks

Published

7 days ago

April 24, 2025

Jim Hill

Super Soap Weekends at Disney-MGM Studios

A long time ago in a galaxy that … Well, to be honest, wasn’t all that far away. This was down in Florida after all. But if you traveled to the WDW Resort, you could then experience “Star Wars Weekends.” Which ran seasonally at Disney’s Hollywood Studios Disney World from 1997 to 2015.

Mind you, what most folks don’t remember is the annual event that effectively plowed the road for “Star Wars Weekends.” Which was “Super Soap Weekend.” That seasonal offering — which allowed ABC soap fans to get up-close with their favorite performers from “All My Children,” “General Hospital,” “One Life to Live” and “Port Charles” — debuted at that same theme park the year previous (1996).

So how did this weekend-long celebration of daytime drama (which drew tens of thousands of people to Orlando every Fall for 15 years straight) come to be?

Michael Eisner’s Daytime TV Origins and a Theme Park Vision

Super Soap Weekend was the brainchild of then-Disney CEO Michael Eisner. His career in media began with short stints at NBC and CBS, but it truly took off in 1964 when he joined ABC as the assistant to Leonard Goldberg, who was the network’s national programming director at the time.

Eisner quickly advanced through the ranks. By 1971, he had become Vice President of Daytime Programming at ABC. That meant he was on the scene when One Life to Live joined the lineup in July 1968 and when All My Children made its debut in January 1970. Even after being promoted to Senior Vice President of Prime Time Programming in 1976, Eisner stayed close to the daytime division and often recruited standout soap talent for ABC’s primetime shows.

Fast forward nearly two decades to July 31, 1995. The Walt Disney Company announced that it would acquire ABC/Cap Cities in a $19 billion deal. Although the acquisition wasn’t finalized until February 1996, Eisner was already thinking ahead. He wanted to use the stars of All My Children, One Life to Live, and General Hospital to draw people to Disney’s theme parks.

He had seen how individual soap stars were drawing huge mall crowds across America since the late 1970s. Now he wanted to bring dozens of them together for something much bigger.

Super Soap Weekend Takes Over Disney-MGM Studios

The very first Super Soap Weekend was announced in June 1996, just a few months after the ABC deal closed. The event was scheduled for October 19 and 20 at Disney-MGM Studios and was a massive success.

The weekend featured panel discussions, autograph sessions, and photo opportunities with the stars of ABC’s daytime dramas. Thousands of fans packed the park for the chance to meet their favorite actors. Due to the overwhelming response, the event became an annual tradition and was eventually moved to Veterans Day weekend each November to better accommodate attendees.

Longtime fans like Nancy Stadler, her mom Mary, and their close friend Angela Ragno returned year after year, making the event a personal tradition and building lifelong memories.

West Coast Events and the ABC Soap Opera Bistro

Disney even tried to recreate the event out west. Two Super Soap Weekends were held at Disneyland Resort, one in April 2002 and another in June 2003.

At Disney’s California Adventure, Eisner also introduced the ABC Soap Opera Bistro, a themed dining experience that opened in February 2001. Guests could dine inside recreated sets from shows like General Hospital and All My Children, including Kelly’s Diner and the Chandler Mansion. The Bistro closed in November 2002, but for fans, it offered a rare opportunity to step into the world of their favorite soaps.

SOAPnet, Port Charles, and the Expansion of Daytime TV at Disney

Eisner’s enthusiasm for soaps extended beyond the parks. In January 2000, he launched SOAPnet, a cable channel dedicated to prime time replays of ABC’s daytime dramas.

During his time at Disney, General Hospital also received a spin-off series titled Port Charles, which aired from June 1997 to October 2003. The show leaned into supernatural plotlines and was another example of Eisner’s commitment to evolving and expanding the soap genre.

The Final Curtain for Super Soap Weekend

In September 2005, Eisner stepped down after 21 years as head of The Walt Disney Company. Bob Iger, who had previously served as President of ABC and Chief Operating Officer of ABC/Cap Cities, took over as CEO. While Iger had deep ABC credentials, he didn’t share Eisner’s passion for daytime television.

In the fall of 2008, Disney hosted the final Super Soap Weekend at what was then still called Disney-MGM Studios. That same year, the park was rebranded as Disney’s Hollywood Studios, and Disney began shifting away from television-focused experiences.

Within the next five years, the rest of Eisner’s soap legacy faded. One Life to Live was canceled in January 2012. SOAPnet was rebranded as Disney Junior in February 2013. Later that year, All My Children ended its 41-year run on ABC.

Only General Hospital remains on the network today, the last standing soap from the golden age of ABC Daytime.

A New Chapter for Daytime TV and Super Soap Fans

The soap genre may have faded from its former glory, but it’s not gone. On February 24, 2025, CBS premiered a brand-new daytime drama called Beyond the Gates, marking the first new soap launch in years.

Meanwhile, All My Children alum Kelly Ripa has been actively working on a revival. In September 2024, she mentioned a holiday-themed movie set in Pine Valley that would bring back many original cast members. The project was in development for Lifetime, though its current status is unclear.

And what about Super Soap? Fans like Nancy and Angela still hope Disney will bring it back. Even if it only featured the cast of General Hospital, it would be a welcome return for longtime viewers who miss that one weekend a year where the magic of Disney collided with the drama of daytime TV.

If you want to hear firsthand what it was like to be part of Super Soap Weekend, be sure to listen to our I Want That Too podcast interview with actor Colin Egglesfield. He shares behind-the-scenes memories from his days as Josh Madden on All My Children and what it meant to be part of one of the most unique fan events in Disney park history.

History

The Super Bowl & Disney: The Untold Story Behind ‘I’m Going to Disneyland!’

Published

3 months ago

February 6, 2025

Jim Hill

One of the highlights of the Super Bowl isn’t just the game itself—it’s the moment when the winning quarterback turns to the camera and exclaims, “I’m going to Disney World!” This now-iconic phrase has been a staple of post-game celebrations for decades. But where did this tradition begin? Surprisingly, it didn’t originate in a stadium but at a dinner table in 1987, in a conversation involving Michael Eisner, George Lucas, and aviation pioneers Dick Rutan and Jeana Yeager.

The Unlikely Beginning of a Marketing Sensation

To understand the origins of this campaign, we have to go back to December 1986, when the Rutan Voyager became the first aircraft to fly around the world without stopping or refueling. Pilots Dick Rutan and Jeana Yeager completed the nine-day journey on December 23, 1986, flying over 26,000 miles before landing at Edwards Air Force Base. Their historic achievement earned them national recognition, and just days later, President Ronald Reagan awarded them the Presidential Citizen Medal at the White House.

Meanwhile, Disney was gearing up for the grand opening of Star Tours at Disneyland, set for January 12, 1987. Following its usual playbook of associating major theme park attractions with real-world pioneers, Disney’s PR team invited astronauts Gordon Cooper and Deke Slayton to the launch event. But in a twist, they also invited Rutan and Yeager, who were still making headlines.

A Dinner Conversation That Changed Advertising Forever

After the Star Tours opening ceremony, a private dinner was held with Disney CEO Michael Eisner, George Lucas, and Eisner’s wife, Jane. During the meal, Eisner asked Rutan and Yeager, “You just made history. You traveled non-stop around the planet on a plane without ever refueling. How are you ever going to top that, career-wise? What are you two gonna do next?”

Without hesitation, Jeana Yeager replied, “Well, after being cramped inside that tiny plane for nine days, I’m just glad to be anywhere else. And even though you folks were nice enough to fly us here, invite us to your party… Well, as soon as we finish eating, I’m gonna go over to the Park and ride some rides. I’m going to Disneyland.”

Jane Eisner immediately recognized the power of Yeager’s statement. On the car ride home, she turned to Michael and said, “That’s a great slogan. I think you should use that to promote the theme parks.” Like many husbands, Michael initially dismissed the idea, but Jane persisted. Eventually, Eisner relented and pitched it to his team.

The Super Bowl Connection

With Super Bowl XXI just around the corner, Disney’s PR team saw an opportunity. The game was set for January 25, 1987, at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena—just miles from Disney Studios. What if they convinced the winning quarterback to say, “I’m going to Disneyland” live on-air?

Disney quickly struck a deal with both quarterbacks—Phil Simms of the New York Giants and John Elway of the Denver Broncos—offering each $75,000 to deliver the line if their team won. Simms led the Giants to victory, making history as the first athlete to say, “I’m going to Disney World!” on national television.

A Marketing Triumph

That year’s Super Bowl had the second-highest viewership in television history, with 87 million people watching Simms say the famous line. The next day, Disney turned the clip into a national commercial, cementing the phrase as a marketing goldmine.

Since then, “I’m going to Disneyland” (or Disney World, depending on the commercial) has been a staple of championship celebrations, spanning the NFL, NBA, and even the Olympics. What started as a casual remark at dinner became one of the most successful advertising campaigns in history.

A Lasting Legacy

Jane Eisner’s keen instinct and Disney’s ability to act quickly on a great idea created a tradition that continues to captivate audiences. The “I’m going to Disneyland” campaign remains a testament to the power of spontaneous inspiration and smart marketing, proving that sometimes, the best ideas come from the most unexpected places.

To learn more about Disney’s ties to the world of sports, check out I Want That Too: A Disney History and Consumer Product Podcast.

Television & Shows

How the Creators of South Park Tricked A-List Celebrities to Roast Universal – “Your Studio & You”

Published

4 months ago

January 12, 2025

Jim Hill

Universal Studios has a rich and storied history, but few moments are as peculiar—and as hilariously cutting—as the creation of Your Studio & You. This 14-minute parody film, commissioned in 1995 to celebrate Universal’s new ownership under Seagram’s, brings together an all-star cast, biting humor, and the unmistakable comedic fingerprints of Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

Long before South Park debuted on Comedy Central in 1997, Stone and Parker were already carving out a reputation for their irreverent style, and Your Studio & You perfectly encapsulates their knack for turning even the most corporate project into something delightfully subversive.

Matt Stone & Trey Parker Before South Park

Stone & Parker were already known out in Hollywood as funny guys. Thanks largely to “The Spirit of Christmas,” which was this video greeting card that they’d crafted for a Fox executive – who then distributed this infamously funny thing (which had Our Lord Jesus Christ & Santa Claus literally duking it out for the holiday affections of Cartman, Kenny, Stan & Kyle) to friends & family.

This was the early 1990s. No internet. Each copy of “The Spirit of Christmas” was made on VHS tape and then mailed. Went viral the old-fashioned way. It’s rumored that George Clooney made over 300 copies of “The Spirit of Christmas” and passed these VHS taps along to friends and family.

Things didn’t move as fast as they do today. “The Spirit of Christmas” still became a sensation out West.

Zucker Brothers

Matt & Trey also had other supporters in the entertainment industry. Among them David Zucker, who was one of the members of ZAZ (i.e., Zucker Abrahams Zucker), the talented trio that made “Airplane!” in 1980, “Top Secret!” in 1984 and the three “Naked Gun” movies.

The original “Naked Gun” in 1988
“Naked Gun 2 & 1/2 : The Smell of Fear” in 1991
and “Naked Gun 33 & a 1/3: The Final Insult” in 1994

All five of these parody films had been made for Paramount Pictures. But in the Late Winter / Early Spring of 1995, Universal had persuaded the Zucker Brothers to come over and set up shop in a bungalow on their lower lot. With the hope that – at some point further on down the line – David & his brother Jerry would start making funny films for Universal.

Zucker Brothers featured in "Your Studio and You"

And it’s during this same window of time (We’re now talking April of 1995) that news breaks that Seagrams (Yep, the adult beverage company. Who – at the time – was making an absolute fortune on the sales of wine coolers) was about to buy a majority stake in MCAUniversal. We’re talking control of 80% of that company’s stock. Which would effectively make Seagrams the new owners of Universal Studios.

Edgar Bronfman

And Edgar Bronfman – the owner of Seagrams – knew that Universal had had a tough time with its previous owners – which had been the Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. of Japan. Matsushita had bought MCA back in November of 1990 for $7.5 billion but had never really understood the entertainment industry.

This is why – after repeatedly butting heads with Lew Wasserman & Sidney Sheinberg (i.e., the heads of Universal Studios & the Universal theme park respectively) when it came to creative control of this company – Matsushita decided to wash it hands of the entire enterprise. Agreeing to sell their holdings in MCA to Seagrams for $5.7 billion (effectively taking a nearly $2 billion loss on this investment).

And Bronfman … He knew that some bad feeling had developed between Hollywood’s creative community and the Japanese owners of Universal. The thinking was that executives at Matsushita Electric had just not gotten what it took to make movies & TV shows.

And Edgar? Right from the get-go, he wanted to show that Seagrams was NOT going to be Matsushita Electric Redux. Bronfman was looking for a way to send a clear message to Hollywood’s creative community that Universal’s new owners got it. That they were willing to work with Hollywood to make the best possible movies & TV shows at Universal.

And how did Edgar decide to get this message across? By making a funny movie.

Zucker Commissions Trey Parker for “Your Studio & You”

Mind you, Bronfman himself didn’t make this film. The owner of Seagrams reached out to David Zucker. Who – after initially agreeing to produce this introduction-to-Universal film – then farmed out the production of the actual project to Trey Parker. Who – just two days before shooting was supposed to star on the Universal Lot – persuaded Matt Stone to come help him on this project.

Which brings us to “Your Studio and You.” Which is a parody of an educational film from the 1950s, right down to being shot in black & white and featuring a very generic soundtrack.

Now what’s amazing about watching “Your Studio and You” today is that this 14-minute-long film features some of the biggest names working in Hollywood back in the mid-1990s. We’re talking about people like recent Golden Globe winner Demi Moore, Sylvester Stallone, Michael J. Fox and Angela Lansbury. Not to mention two of the most powerful men in all of Hollywood, Steven Spielberg & Jeffrey Katzenberg.

And what’s especially interesting about watch “Your Studio and You” is that – as you watch these performers go through their paces in this motion pictures (which – most of the time – involves doing some innocuous task while holding a Seagram’s wine cooler) – you often get the feeling that this star is not in on the gag.

So how did Matt & Trey get away with this? Simple. There was never actually a script for “Your Studio and You.”

Filming “Your Studio & You” at Universal Studios Hollywood

Mind you, David Zucker would always insist that there was. Especially when he’d phone up celebrities on the Universal Lot and say “Hey, I’m sending over a couple of college kids later today. They’re working with me on a new parody film. It’s something that we’re doing for the new owners of Universal. I need just a half hour of your time. We’re shooting something special for the party we’ll be holding when the Seagrams people first arrive at the Studio. Absolutely. You’ll definitely get an invite to that party. So can I count on you to help these kids out? Beautiful. They’ll be over there later this morning.”

And then Matt & Trey would show up and say “… Dang, Miss Lansbury. We’re sorry. We must have left our copy of the ‘Your Studio and You’ script back in our office. Which is clear on the other side of the Lot. So – rather than waste your time – why don’t we do this instead? Follow us over to the Psycho House. Where we’re then going to get footage of you painting the front porch on Mother Bates’ house while you say ‘Gosh, with all of the wonderful improvements going on around here, everyone is going to want to work at Universal.’ Oh, and can we also get you to wear this button on the front of your blazer which reads ‘Universal is A-OK’ ? “

And over & over again, the biggest names who were working for Universal at that time took part in the production of “Your Studio & You” because A) David Zucker vouched for Matt Stone & Trey Parker and B) this was something that was being made for the new owners of Universal. And it’s just natural to want to get in good with the new boss.

Steven Spielberg, Jeffery Katzenberg, and Jaws

But no one at Universal anticipated that “Your Studio & You” would wind up being as sharp edged as the finished product turned out to be. I mean, it’s one thing to bite the hand that feeds you. But “Your Studio & You” ? It doesn’t just bite the hand. It takes the hand off at the wrist.

It’s a brutally funny film. With one of the meanest moments reserved for Steven Spielberg, who plays a driver on the Universal Studio Tour who’s trying to persuade a tram full of bored tourists (one of whom is played by Jeffery Katzenberg) that the “Shark Attack” scene down by Jaws Lagoon is actually exciting.

Spielberg actually says lines like “ … Whoa, whoa. What is going on here? Ladies and gentlemen, this never happens. Look out! It’s a shark! Whoa, that is one big scary shark.”

Mind you, as footage of this mechanical shark repeatedly coming up out of the water is shown, “Your Studio & You” ‘s off-screen narrator (who is voiced by Trey Parker says):

“But what about tomorrow? If we don’t keep in step with the times, things that were once neat and thrilling can become old and stupid.”

“Your Studio & You” Reception

This film was supposed to be shown only once at the welcoming party for Seagrams executive on the Universal Lot. And I’m told that – when Edgar Bronfman saw the finished product at that party – he reportedly turned to David Zucker and said “ … That’s a little more mean-spirited that I think it needed to be.”

And with that, “Your Studio & You” was supposed to go back into the Universal vault, never to be seen again. But when “South Park” debuted on Comedy Central in August of 1997 and then became a sensation for its biting humor, there was suddenly a lot of interest in what else Matt & Trey had done. Which is why copies of “The Spirit of Christmas” began to circulate. And – over time – copies of “Your Studio & You” began to bubble up.

Which – as Stone & Parker have repeatedly pointed out – was just not supposed to happen. Largely because none of the celebrities who appeared in “Your Studio & You” had never signed releases for Universal’s legal department. Because – again – this was for a movie that was only going to be shown once at a private function on the Universal Lot.

Matt mentioned (as part of a career retrospective at the Paley Center in LA back in 2000) that “ … they wouldn’t even let us keep a copy of the finished film.”

It’s a funny but brutal movie. And worth taking a look at today especially if you’re a theme park history buff because it shows Universal Studios Hollywood’s “Jurassic Park: The Ride” still under construction on the Lower Lot. That attraction would finally open to the public in June of 1996.

“Your Studio & You” became a lot easier to see after Seagrams sold off its share of Universal to Vivendi in 2000. Copies began propagating online after that. Though Universal Legal will periodically make an effort to get the latest copy of “Your Studio & You” taken off the Internet because – again – none of the performers who appear on camera ever signed the proper releases and/or were paid for their efforts.

That said, if you’re up for a mean-spirited laugh, “Your Studio & You” is well worth 14 minutes of your time. That said, once you watch this thing, be warned: