Theme Parks & Themed Entertainment

A Visit to Universal Orlando’s “Halloween Horror Nights 13”

Are you wondering what sort of scares await you this year at Universal Studios Islands of Adventure? A seasoned HHN veteran, JHM columnist Seth Kubersky catalogues the thrills and chills, taking you house by house, show by show, scare by scare.

Published

22 years ago

October 8, 2003

Seth Kubersky

Haunted houses, horror movies, ghost stories – none of it scares me any more. I enjoy it, I appreciate it, and I look forward to it every year. But it just doesn’t frighten me.

I wasn’t always like this. As a kid, the idea of anything spooky or gory scared the crap out of me, because I wasn’t allowed anywhere near it. The advertisements for the infamous Haunted Mansion in Long Branch, NJ, shook me so badly that I never got the nerve to go in during our family trips to the shore. Growing up, the scariest movie my dad ever took me to see was “House of Wax” (Vincent Price in 3D!) Hearing other kids talk about the latest Jason or Freddy flick conjured images far worse than anything in the actual films, which my parents forbade me to see. And on the rare occasion I did enter a haunted house (Orlando’s Mystery Fun House, Six Flags Great Adventure’s Haunted Mansion), I did it with one eye closed and the other squinting. Even the cover of “Fangoria” on the supermarket magazine rack freaked me out.

I’m not sure when my attitude towards scary stuff started to change. My next-door neighbors, who put on an annual haunted house, let me play a severed head one year, and I had a blast. When I got to high school, I became interested in theater, filmmaking, and makeup, which naturally led to an interest in horror. By the time I got to college I counted Dawn of the Dead as one of my favorite films, and I dragged my girlfriend to every midnight horror flick at the local theater.

But the big turning point came after I moved to Orlando and started working for Universal. I started on the day shift as a tech at the old Ghostbusters show, so I experienced my first Halloween Horror Nights (HHN) as a guest. But by the next year I was involved in special event production, and was neck-deep in Halloween. Over the next few years, I did everything from hang lights to apply makeup to escort “scareactors.” Seeing the event from the inside slowly stripped away my ability to be scared by it all. I no longer saw demons and ghouls, I saw actors I knew in mazes I helped build.

The final nail in the coffin was Halloween of 1999, when I stage-managed the Mummy and Doomsday haunted houses. 6 to 8 hours a night of prowling the service halls of a haunted house, earplugs barely dampening the brain-splitting soundtrack, cured me of any remaining illusions. I discovered that the actors are in far more danger from the guests than vice versa, and that drunken guys will do amazingly stupid things to prove how brave they are to their girlfriends.

By the end of that Halloween I realized that I had lost the ability to be frightened by a haunted house. My actors would try mightily to scare me during my walk-throughs, and on rare occasions one could surprise me. But it was more a startle reflex than genuine fear. Now, I walk through haunted houses admiring (or criticizing) the technical details, and predicting where the next “boo” will come from.

So how does someone like me evaluate the latest incarnation of Halloween Horror Nights, Universal Orlando’s annual orgy of terror? What criteria do you judge a haunted attraction on, if no how “scary” it is?

I review haunted houses by the same criteria as any other theme park attraction. Does it have an interesting and identifiable story? Is the theming consistent and well-designed? Does the house take you through a variety of environments in a logical progression? Are there subtle creative details that make you feel like you need to go twice to catch everything? Is it well paced, with a variety of scares properly spaced? Is it engineered to move large crowds in a safe and efficient manner? Most importantly, does it create a “realistic” immersive experience, or are you constantly reminded that you’re walking though a plywood maze?

For the impatient reader, the bottom line is that this year’s HHN is a success. Universal has done a much better job of integrating the event into Island’s of Adventure, as opposed to the obvious growing pains of last year’s event. For many in Orlando, this is a must-visit event, and visitors this year can count on getting their money’s worth.

It’s important to note one thing for the haunted house connoisseurs out there: there is no pulsing in the houses at all this year. Not even on slower nights – the queue attendants I talked to didn’t even know what “pulsing” is. For the uninitiated, that’s the practice of letting small numbers (a dozen or so) into the house with a brief gap between groups. This is the way the designers would like you to experience the houses. It’s more intimate, and therefore more frightening, and the actors have time to set up their scares better. Without pulsing you shuffle through the house on an endless conga line. This hurts the actors’ ability to scare effectively, can seriously detract from things like mirror mazes.

Unfortunately, Universal has had to bow to the pressure of running a hugely popular event. While in years past there was lip service paid to pulsing, all pretence has now been abandoned. This is understandable if you look at the math. Let’s say you sent a dozen people at a time, with just 15 seconds between groups. You’d move less than 1500 people per hour. A slow night at HHN attracts 15,000 people; a peak night 2 or 3 times that. With so few attractions open, and the houses being the main draw, the need to move people as fast as possible becomes obvious. This doesn’t ruin the houses, or make the event not worth visiting. But those used to smaller, less busy haunted houses may be in for a surprise. You best bet for an optimal experience is to visit at the very end of the night,

A final word of warning: I know from personal experience that things can change drastically between the 1st and 2nd weekends of HHN. The houses I stage managed had numerous gags and effects added after the first weekend. In years past, shows have been rewritten or recast after opening weekend. So, your mileage may vary when you visit HHN. I’ll be visiting again later in the season, and I’ll pass along any changes I notice.

Enough blather – let’s get on with the review!

Admission and Port of Evil
I arrived at 6:45pm (15 minutes before opening) on Sunday evening and found a sizeable crowd waiting to buy tickets. Regular admission is $55.33 (including tax), but annual passholders like myself can buy a “Frequent Fear” pass for $44.68. This allows unlimited visits on non-peak nights (every night except Friday and Saturday) and is a great value if you plan on visiting more than once.

I also opted to buy a Universal Express booklet for $15. This gives you one coupon for VIP admission to each ride, show, and attraction in the park. Even on an off-peak night, wait times for the houses on the night I visited ranged from 30 minutes to over an hour. The wait with the Express passes was under 5 minutes. Even though attendance was relatively light, I felt the Express was well worth the money, and I’d consider it essential on a busy night. If projected attendance is 15000 or more (ask the cashier when you buy your tickets) I suggest you spring for the Express – you’ll be glad you did when you see the queues.

After making your way through the turnstiles and security checkpoint (metal detectors are now a fact of life, sad to say), you enter the Port of Entry, now know as Port of Evil. Fog machines and giant fans create a damp “vortex” to pass through. On the other side, you’ll find demonic stilt walkers (in excellent makeup) and scantily-clad dancing girls in chains (always fun to watch). By the way, Confisco’s is the only full-service restaurant open, and it closes at 10:30pm, so if you’re hungry plan accordingly.

Port of Evil: Hello, ladies.

Toxic City
There are no haunted houses in Marvel Superhero Island this year, which is a bit disappointing. The scenic design in the streets is also less elaborate than last year. Theming consists of toxic waste barrels (cleverly marked “Property of Oscorp”) and trucks spraying foam. The mutant scareactors make this area look like the Toxic Avenger’s family reunion. “Hulk,” “Spiderman” and “Doctor Doom” are all open, but otherwise there isn’t much going on here.

Hide and Shrieek!
The massive foam party that was last year’s Toon Lagoon has, thankfully, gone away. Instead, we have spooky lighting and scareactors camouflaged to blend in with the scenery. I’m embarrassed to admit that, while trying to navigate the crowds in the dark and fog, I stepped under one of the scenic water elements and got a good soaking. “Dudley Do-Righ” is operating, but not “Popeye” (for obvious reasons).

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Halloween Adventure
For many, this is the annual highlight of HHN. The story has become as ritualized as the Latin Mass: Bill & Ted (of 80’s movie fame) show up in their time-traveling phone booth, pop-culture villains attack them, heroes show up out of nowhere to fight back, and in the end everyone joins in a big dance number. If anything, this year’s plot is more perfunctory than ever (“Plot?” asks one of Charlie’s Angels,”There’s a plot?”), and the dancing and stunts overwhelm the outrageous satire that was once the hallmark of the show. This year’s villains, Saddam and Osama, whipped the audience into a hootin-n-hollerin frenzy, but don’t go looking for sharp political humor.

This year’s characters range from the obvious (Neo and Trinity, Laura Croft) to the pointless (Justin Timberlake, Stripperella), but there are some inspired moments. The show opens with a rapping Gollum and a witty send-up of preshow safety announcements. Captain Jack Sparrow from “Pirates of the Caribbean” isn’t given enough to do, but an actor with a gift for physical comedy plays Captain Barbarras as a malfunctioning audio-animatron. There is some fun “Matrix”-style fight choreography (with 3 actors on wires simultaneously), and clever jabs at Disney, but the dance finale wears out its welcome. This year’s B&T is solid, and worth seeing, but it isn’t a classic on the level of “Kirk vs. Picard” from a few years back.

Grade: A- (for first-timers) / B- (for B&T veterans)

Ship of Screams
Scary Tales 2, last year’s house in the “Popeye” queue line, was an insult to the Scary Tales legacy. This year’s “Ship of Screams” isn’t a debacle, but it suffers from the limitations imposed by the location. By shoehorning a haunted house into the Popeye boathouse, the designers are limited in environments they can create. Even so, they’ve done a good job with the theme, especially with the use of water gags. The front half of the house is a little slow, but there are a couple of great tableaus towards the end. The “Titanic” houses from 1998 made better use of the same theme, but this house is a noble effort. Hopefully next year they’ll stop trying to use this location and go back to Marvel.

Grade: B-

Night Prey
Jurassic Park in the dark is so well-themed that not much is needed to make it spooky. Forest-camouflaged scareactors and strategically-placed flamethrowers give this island all the atmosphere it needs. “Jurassic Park River Adventure” is running (and much better in the dark).

Funhouse of Fear
Who doesn’t hate clowns? This house, located in the Thunderfalls Terrace (where Fear Factor was last year) is the most colorful and disorienting maze this year. Mirror mazes, tilted hallways, and garish colors abound. To make things worse, you are provided with a pair of 3D glasses to wear. These are simple prismatic glasses that make certain colors pop or recede, but they add greatly to the visual confusion. My only complaint is that the environment becomes a bit repetitive, and there are too many similar-looking rubber clown masks. Very different than the other houses, and a lot of fun.

Grade: B+

Jungle of Doom
The Triceratops Encounter queue is one of the most detailed in the park, and should make the perfect setting for a haunted trail. Or so you would think. The fact that it’s outdoors makes it a change of pace from the other houses, and there are some nice set pieces. I liked the barbeque-scented cannibal roast, and the ubiquitous half-naked demon girl. But most of the trail consists of lots of greenery, without enough scares or décor. Better than last year’s Evilution, but not much.

Grade: C-

Psycho Scareapy
Wow! I would never have guessed that the designers would be able to fit such a complex, detailed maze into the ground floor of the Jurassic Park Discovery Center. This house takes you through a decrepit mental asylum, from the admission desk to the TV room (cartoons, of course) to the foulest bathroom imaginable (great use of scent machines). There are even multiple paths to further unsettle you. What makes this house so great are the actors: instead of just screaming, many ramble on with bizarre, and genuinely creepy, psychotic monologues. Great stuff, I only wish it could have been longer.

Grade: A

Immortal Island
The park guide talks about a “titanic battle” between fire and ice. I saw lots of fog, and red and blue lasers. Whatever. “Dueling Dragons” is open, and is a must-ride in the dark. “Flying Unicorn” is also surprisingly enjoyable in the dark, especially in the back row, and there was no line.

Immortal Island: The rat lady is back!

Infestation
The “Director” character is this year’s icon, and the centerpiece of the controversial advertising campaign (the Orlando Sentinel ran a long article asking if the TV ad, with its images of torture, goes “too far”). He’s a creepy character as long as he keeps his mouth shut, but Infestation proves he can’t carry a show. In this “Fear Factor”-esque show, staged every 40 minutes in front of the Enchanted Oak, volunteers (paying a nominal fee) and strapped to a chair and have vermin dumped on their heads. It’s a neat concept, but there are several fatal flaws.

A creepy Infestation

For one, the roaches, scorpions, and rats are extremely docile, and are gently placed on the guest one at a time by a wrangler. Two, the critters are also removed by hand before the next victim is brought out, making for a slow-paced show with no sense of danger. These problems would be surmountable if it wasn’t for the third problem, the Director. The actor I saw in the role had the stage presence of wilted lettuce, and was heckled by the audience throughout. With a great M.C., this would be mildly amusing for reality-TV fans. Without a strong host to carry through the many dead spots in the show, this is a waste of time.

Grade: D-

All Nite DrIvE-In
This house is a massive near-miss. It starts off great, with a giant movie screen showing classic splatter films that you walk right though. The sets are well detailed and realistic, taking you from suburban Haddonfield to Camp Crystal Lake to an Elm Street boiler room. I especially admired Leatherface’s exquisitely detailed dinner table. This could have been the best house in years, if not for two problems. One, pace: there are, believe it or not, too many scareactors, and many of them look alike. At one point there were 2 Michael Meyers in the same room with me at once. I would rather have seen one hulking screen-accurate Jason than 3 short guys in store-bought hockey masks. Two, the maze is too darn short. Just when it really gets going, you’re out the door. This is surprising, considering that the house is built in a giant soundstage. A good house, but heartbreaking because it could have been great.

Grade: C+

Boo-ville
Audrey Geisel is fiercely protective of her late husband’s image, do don’t expect to see Horton Slaughters a Who. Theming in Seuss Landing is limited to lighting, fog, and spooky music. All the rides in this area are supposed to be open, though “Cat in the Hat” was closed during my visit.

Screamhouse Revisited
This was the highlight of last year’s HHN, and it’s one of the best attractions this year. Universal has created a detailed and realistic environment, starting with the startlingly real decaying house façade you enter. This house features a variety of environments, from claustrophobic parlors to outdoor graveyards. There is also a healthy dose of gore, something that has been in short supply at HHN since 2001. The only disappointment is that the house seems a little less elaborate than last year’s, and the excellent mirror gag from last year’s finale is gone.

Grade: A-

The awesome Screamhouse façade

HHN 13 Overall grade: B+.

That, folks, is Halloween Horror Nights 13. They’ve learned a lot from last year’s failures, and I expect them to do even better next year. It’s disappointing (though not unexpected) that the early rumors of an “extreme” haunted house experience turned out to be the limp Infestation show. I’d like to see more live entertainment next year, and I miss the parade. I’d love to see the next Bill & Ted show discard some of its more tired conventions and focus on sharper parody. The park will be brutal on peak nights, and uncomfortable on all but the slowest, making the Express passes are worth their weight in gold. None of these criticisms stop Halloween Horror Nights from being one of the best theme-park experiences you’ll ever have.

So if you’re in Orlando this month, be sure to pay a visit to all the monsters and maniacs at Universal. Just don’t blame me if you don’t make it back…

Television & Shows

The Untold Story of Super Soap Weekend at Disney-MGM Studios: How Daytime TV Took Over the Parks

Published

2 days ago

April 24, 2025

Jim Hill

Super Soap Weekends at Disney-MGM Studios

A long time ago in a galaxy that … Well, to be honest, wasn’t all that far away. This was down in Florida after all. But if you traveled to the WDW Resort, you could then experience “Star Wars Weekends.” Which ran seasonally at Disney’s Hollywood Studios Disney World from 1997 to 2015.

Mind you, what most folks don’t remember is the annual event that effectively plowed the road for “Star Wars Weekends.” Which was “Super Soap Weekend.” That seasonal offering — which allowed ABC soap fans to get up-close with their favorite performers from “All My Children,” “General Hospital,” “One Life to Live” and “Port Charles” — debuted at that same theme park the year previous (1996).

So how did this weekend-long celebration of daytime drama (which drew tens of thousands of people to Orlando every Fall for 15 years straight) come to be?

Michael Eisner’s Daytime TV Origins and a Theme Park Vision

Super Soap Weekend was the brainchild of then-Disney CEO Michael Eisner. His career in media began with short stints at NBC and CBS, but it truly took off in 1964 when he joined ABC as the assistant to Leonard Goldberg, who was the network’s national programming director at the time.

Eisner quickly advanced through the ranks. By 1971, he had become Vice President of Daytime Programming at ABC. That meant he was on the scene when One Life to Live joined the lineup in July 1968 and when All My Children made its debut in January 1970. Even after being promoted to Senior Vice President of Prime Time Programming in 1976, Eisner stayed close to the daytime division and often recruited standout soap talent for ABC’s primetime shows.

Fast forward nearly two decades to July 31, 1995. The Walt Disney Company announced that it would acquire ABC/Cap Cities in a $19 billion deal. Although the acquisition wasn’t finalized until February 1996, Eisner was already thinking ahead. He wanted to use the stars of All My Children, One Life to Live, and General Hospital to draw people to Disney’s theme parks.

He had seen how individual soap stars were drawing huge mall crowds across America since the late 1970s. Now he wanted to bring dozens of them together for something much bigger.

Super Soap Weekend Takes Over Disney-MGM Studios

The very first Super Soap Weekend was announced in June 1996, just a few months after the ABC deal closed. The event was scheduled for October 19 and 20 at Disney-MGM Studios and was a massive success.

The weekend featured panel discussions, autograph sessions, and photo opportunities with the stars of ABC’s daytime dramas. Thousands of fans packed the park for the chance to meet their favorite actors. Due to the overwhelming response, the event became an annual tradition and was eventually moved to Veterans Day weekend each November to better accommodate attendees.

Longtime fans like Nancy Stadler, her mom Mary, and their close friend Angela Ragno returned year after year, making the event a personal tradition and building lifelong memories.

West Coast Events and the ABC Soap Opera Bistro

Disney even tried to recreate the event out west. Two Super Soap Weekends were held at Disneyland Resort, one in April 2002 and another in June 2003.

At Disney’s California Adventure, Eisner also introduced the ABC Soap Opera Bistro, a themed dining experience that opened in February 2001. Guests could dine inside recreated sets from shows like General Hospital and All My Children, including Kelly’s Diner and the Chandler Mansion. The Bistro closed in November 2002, but for fans, it offered a rare opportunity to step into the world of their favorite soaps.

SOAPnet, Port Charles, and the Expansion of Daytime TV at Disney

Eisner’s enthusiasm for soaps extended beyond the parks. In January 2000, he launched SOAPnet, a cable channel dedicated to prime time replays of ABC’s daytime dramas.

During his time at Disney, General Hospital also received a spin-off series titled Port Charles, which aired from June 1997 to October 2003. The show leaned into supernatural plotlines and was another example of Eisner’s commitment to evolving and expanding the soap genre.

The Final Curtain for Super Soap Weekend

In September 2005, Eisner stepped down after 21 years as head of The Walt Disney Company. Bob Iger, who had previously served as President of ABC and Chief Operating Officer of ABC/Cap Cities, took over as CEO. While Iger had deep ABC credentials, he didn’t share Eisner’s passion for daytime television.

In the fall of 2008, Disney hosted the final Super Soap Weekend at what was then still called Disney-MGM Studios. That same year, the park was rebranded as Disney’s Hollywood Studios, and Disney began shifting away from television-focused experiences.

Within the next five years, the rest of Eisner’s soap legacy faded. One Life to Live was canceled in January 2012. SOAPnet was rebranded as Disney Junior in February 2013. Later that year, All My Children ended its 41-year run on ABC.

Only General Hospital remains on the network today, the last standing soap from the golden age of ABC Daytime.

A New Chapter for Daytime TV and Super Soap Fans

The soap genre may have faded from its former glory, but it’s not gone. On February 24, 2025, CBS premiered a brand-new daytime drama called Beyond the Gates, marking the first new soap launch in years.

Meanwhile, All My Children alum Kelly Ripa has been actively working on a revival. In September 2024, she mentioned a holiday-themed movie set in Pine Valley that would bring back many original cast members. The project was in development for Lifetime, though its current status is unclear.

And what about Super Soap? Fans like Nancy and Angela still hope Disney will bring it back. Even if it only featured the cast of General Hospital, it would be a welcome return for longtime viewers who miss that one weekend a year where the magic of Disney collided with the drama of daytime TV.

If you want to hear firsthand what it was like to be part of Super Soap Weekend, be sure to listen to our I Want That Too podcast interview with actor Colin Egglesfield. He shares behind-the-scenes memories from his days as Josh Madden on All My Children and what it meant to be part of one of the most unique fan events in Disney park history.

History

The Super Bowl & Disney: The Untold Story Behind ‘I’m Going to Disneyland!’

Published

3 months ago

February 6, 2025

Jim Hill

One of the highlights of the Super Bowl isn’t just the game itself—it’s the moment when the winning quarterback turns to the camera and exclaims, “I’m going to Disney World!” This now-iconic phrase has been a staple of post-game celebrations for decades. But where did this tradition begin? Surprisingly, it didn’t originate in a stadium but at a dinner table in 1987, in a conversation involving Michael Eisner, George Lucas, and aviation pioneers Dick Rutan and Jeana Yeager.

The Unlikely Beginning of a Marketing Sensation

To understand the origins of this campaign, we have to go back to December 1986, when the Rutan Voyager became the first aircraft to fly around the world without stopping or refueling. Pilots Dick Rutan and Jeana Yeager completed the nine-day journey on December 23, 1986, flying over 26,000 miles before landing at Edwards Air Force Base. Their historic achievement earned them national recognition, and just days later, President Ronald Reagan awarded them the Presidential Citizen Medal at the White House.

Meanwhile, Disney was gearing up for the grand opening of Star Tours at Disneyland, set for January 12, 1987. Following its usual playbook of associating major theme park attractions with real-world pioneers, Disney’s PR team invited astronauts Gordon Cooper and Deke Slayton to the launch event. But in a twist, they also invited Rutan and Yeager, who were still making headlines.

A Dinner Conversation That Changed Advertising Forever

After the Star Tours opening ceremony, a private dinner was held with Disney CEO Michael Eisner, George Lucas, and Eisner’s wife, Jane. During the meal, Eisner asked Rutan and Yeager, “You just made history. You traveled non-stop around the planet on a plane without ever refueling. How are you ever going to top that, career-wise? What are you two gonna do next?”

Without hesitation, Jeana Yeager replied, “Well, after being cramped inside that tiny plane for nine days, I’m just glad to be anywhere else. And even though you folks were nice enough to fly us here, invite us to your party… Well, as soon as we finish eating, I’m gonna go over to the Park and ride some rides. I’m going to Disneyland.”

Jane Eisner immediately recognized the power of Yeager’s statement. On the car ride home, she turned to Michael and said, “That’s a great slogan. I think you should use that to promote the theme parks.” Like many husbands, Michael initially dismissed the idea, but Jane persisted. Eventually, Eisner relented and pitched it to his team.

The Super Bowl Connection

With Super Bowl XXI just around the corner, Disney’s PR team saw an opportunity. The game was set for January 25, 1987, at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena—just miles from Disney Studios. What if they convinced the winning quarterback to say, “I’m going to Disneyland” live on-air?

Disney quickly struck a deal with both quarterbacks—Phil Simms of the New York Giants and John Elway of the Denver Broncos—offering each $75,000 to deliver the line if their team won. Simms led the Giants to victory, making history as the first athlete to say, “I’m going to Disney World!” on national television.

A Marketing Triumph

That year’s Super Bowl had the second-highest viewership in television history, with 87 million people watching Simms say the famous line. The next day, Disney turned the clip into a national commercial, cementing the phrase as a marketing goldmine.

Since then, “I’m going to Disneyland” (or Disney World, depending on the commercial) has been a staple of championship celebrations, spanning the NFL, NBA, and even the Olympics. What started as a casual remark at dinner became one of the most successful advertising campaigns in history.

A Lasting Legacy

Jane Eisner’s keen instinct and Disney’s ability to act quickly on a great idea created a tradition that continues to captivate audiences. The “I’m going to Disneyland” campaign remains a testament to the power of spontaneous inspiration and smart marketing, proving that sometimes, the best ideas come from the most unexpected places.

To learn more about Disney’s ties to the world of sports, check out I Want That Too: A Disney History and Consumer Product Podcast.

Television & Shows

How the Creators of South Park Tricked A-List Celebrities to Roast Universal – “Your Studio & You”

Published

3 months ago

January 12, 2025

Jim Hill

Universal Studios has a rich and storied history, but few moments are as peculiar—and as hilariously cutting—as the creation of Your Studio & You. This 14-minute parody film, commissioned in 1995 to celebrate Universal’s new ownership under Seagram’s, brings together an all-star cast, biting humor, and the unmistakable comedic fingerprints of Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

Long before South Park debuted on Comedy Central in 1997, Stone and Parker were already carving out a reputation for their irreverent style, and Your Studio & You perfectly encapsulates their knack for turning even the most corporate project into something delightfully subversive.

Matt Stone & Trey Parker Before South Park

Stone & Parker were already known out in Hollywood as funny guys. Thanks largely to “The Spirit of Christmas,” which was this video greeting card that they’d crafted for a Fox executive – who then distributed this infamously funny thing (which had Our Lord Jesus Christ & Santa Claus literally duking it out for the holiday affections of Cartman, Kenny, Stan & Kyle) to friends & family.

This was the early 1990s. No internet. Each copy of “The Spirit of Christmas” was made on VHS tape and then mailed. Went viral the old-fashioned way. It’s rumored that George Clooney made over 300 copies of “The Spirit of Christmas” and passed these VHS taps along to friends and family.

Things didn’t move as fast as they do today. “The Spirit of Christmas” still became a sensation out West.

Zucker Brothers

Matt & Trey also had other supporters in the entertainment industry. Among them David Zucker, who was one of the members of ZAZ (i.e., Zucker Abrahams Zucker), the talented trio that made “Airplane!” in 1980, “Top Secret!” in 1984 and the three “Naked Gun” movies.

The original “Naked Gun” in 1988
“Naked Gun 2 & 1/2 : The Smell of Fear” in 1991
and “Naked Gun 33 & a 1/3: The Final Insult” in 1994

All five of these parody films had been made for Paramount Pictures. But in the Late Winter / Early Spring of 1995, Universal had persuaded the Zucker Brothers to come over and set up shop in a bungalow on their lower lot. With the hope that – at some point further on down the line – David & his brother Jerry would start making funny films for Universal.

Zucker Brothers featured in "Your Studio and You"

And it’s during this same window of time (We’re now talking April of 1995) that news breaks that Seagrams (Yep, the adult beverage company. Who – at the time – was making an absolute fortune on the sales of wine coolers) was about to buy a majority stake in MCAUniversal. We’re talking control of 80% of that company’s stock. Which would effectively make Seagrams the new owners of Universal Studios.

Edgar Bronfman

And Edgar Bronfman – the owner of Seagrams – knew that Universal had had a tough time with its previous owners – which had been the Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. of Japan. Matsushita had bought MCA back in November of 1990 for $7.5 billion but had never really understood the entertainment industry.

This is why – after repeatedly butting heads with Lew Wasserman & Sidney Sheinberg (i.e., the heads of Universal Studios & the Universal theme park respectively) when it came to creative control of this company – Matsushita decided to wash it hands of the entire enterprise. Agreeing to sell their holdings in MCA to Seagrams for $5.7 billion (effectively taking a nearly $2 billion loss on this investment).

And Bronfman … He knew that some bad feeling had developed between Hollywood’s creative community and the Japanese owners of Universal. The thinking was that executives at Matsushita Electric had just not gotten what it took to make movies & TV shows.

And Edgar? Right from the get-go, he wanted to show that Seagrams was NOT going to be Matsushita Electric Redux. Bronfman was looking for a way to send a clear message to Hollywood’s creative community that Universal’s new owners got it. That they were willing to work with Hollywood to make the best possible movies & TV shows at Universal.

And how did Edgar decide to get this message across? By making a funny movie.

Zucker Commissions Trey Parker for “Your Studio & You”

Mind you, Bronfman himself didn’t make this film. The owner of Seagrams reached out to David Zucker. Who – after initially agreeing to produce this introduction-to-Universal film – then farmed out the production of the actual project to Trey Parker. Who – just two days before shooting was supposed to star on the Universal Lot – persuaded Matt Stone to come help him on this project.

Which brings us to “Your Studio and You.” Which is a parody of an educational film from the 1950s, right down to being shot in black & white and featuring a very generic soundtrack.

Now what’s amazing about watching “Your Studio and You” today is that this 14-minute-long film features some of the biggest names working in Hollywood back in the mid-1990s. We’re talking about people like recent Golden Globe winner Demi Moore, Sylvester Stallone, Michael J. Fox and Angela Lansbury. Not to mention two of the most powerful men in all of Hollywood, Steven Spielberg & Jeffrey Katzenberg.

And what’s especially interesting about watch “Your Studio and You” is that – as you watch these performers go through their paces in this motion pictures (which – most of the time – involves doing some innocuous task while holding a Seagram’s wine cooler) – you often get the feeling that this star is not in on the gag.

So how did Matt & Trey get away with this? Simple. There was never actually a script for “Your Studio and You.”

Filming “Your Studio & You” at Universal Studios Hollywood

Mind you, David Zucker would always insist that there was. Especially when he’d phone up celebrities on the Universal Lot and say “Hey, I’m sending over a couple of college kids later today. They’re working with me on a new parody film. It’s something that we’re doing for the new owners of Universal. I need just a half hour of your time. We’re shooting something special for the party we’ll be holding when the Seagrams people first arrive at the Studio. Absolutely. You’ll definitely get an invite to that party. So can I count on you to help these kids out? Beautiful. They’ll be over there later this morning.”

And then Matt & Trey would show up and say “… Dang, Miss Lansbury. We’re sorry. We must have left our copy of the ‘Your Studio and You’ script back in our office. Which is clear on the other side of the Lot. So – rather than waste your time – why don’t we do this instead? Follow us over to the Psycho House. Where we’re then going to get footage of you painting the front porch on Mother Bates’ house while you say ‘Gosh, with all of the wonderful improvements going on around here, everyone is going to want to work at Universal.’ Oh, and can we also get you to wear this button on the front of your blazer which reads ‘Universal is A-OK’ ? “

And over & over again, the biggest names who were working for Universal at that time took part in the production of “Your Studio & You” because A) David Zucker vouched for Matt Stone & Trey Parker and B) this was something that was being made for the new owners of Universal. And it’s just natural to want to get in good with the new boss.

Steven Spielberg, Jeffery Katzenberg, and Jaws

But no one at Universal anticipated that “Your Studio & You” would wind up being as sharp edged as the finished product turned out to be. I mean, it’s one thing to bite the hand that feeds you. But “Your Studio & You” ? It doesn’t just bite the hand. It takes the hand off at the wrist.

It’s a brutally funny film. With one of the meanest moments reserved for Steven Spielberg, who plays a driver on the Universal Studio Tour who’s trying to persuade a tram full of bored tourists (one of whom is played by Jeffery Katzenberg) that the “Shark Attack” scene down by Jaws Lagoon is actually exciting.

Spielberg actually says lines like “ … Whoa, whoa. What is going on here? Ladies and gentlemen, this never happens. Look out! It’s a shark! Whoa, that is one big scary shark.”

Mind you, as footage of this mechanical shark repeatedly coming up out of the water is shown, “Your Studio & You” ‘s off-screen narrator (who is voiced by Trey Parker says):

“But what about tomorrow? If we don’t keep in step with the times, things that were once neat and thrilling can become old and stupid.”

“Your Studio & You” Reception

This film was supposed to be shown only once at the welcoming party for Seagrams executive on the Universal Lot. And I’m told that – when Edgar Bronfman saw the finished product at that party – he reportedly turned to David Zucker and said “ … That’s a little more mean-spirited that I think it needed to be.”

And with that, “Your Studio & You” was supposed to go back into the Universal vault, never to be seen again. But when “South Park” debuted on Comedy Central in August of 1997 and then became a sensation for its biting humor, there was suddenly a lot of interest in what else Matt & Trey had done. Which is why copies of “The Spirit of Christmas” began to circulate. And – over time – copies of “Your Studio & You” began to bubble up.

Which – as Stone & Parker have repeatedly pointed out – was just not supposed to happen. Largely because none of the celebrities who appeared in “Your Studio & You” had never signed releases for Universal’s legal department. Because – again – this was for a movie that was only going to be shown once at a private function on the Universal Lot.

Matt mentioned (as part of a career retrospective at the Paley Center in LA back in 2000) that “ … they wouldn’t even let us keep a copy of the finished film.”

It’s a funny but brutal movie. And worth taking a look at today especially if you’re a theme park history buff because it shows Universal Studios Hollywood’s “Jurassic Park: The Ride” still under construction on the Lower Lot. That attraction would finally open to the public in June of 1996.

“Your Studio & You” became a lot easier to see after Seagrams sold off its share of Universal to Vivendi in 2000. Copies began propagating online after that. Though Universal Legal will periodically make an effort to get the latest copy of “Your Studio & You” taken off the Internet because – again – none of the performers who appear on camera ever signed the proper releases and/or were paid for their efforts.

That said, if you’re up for a mean-spirited laugh, “Your Studio & You” is well worth 14 minutes of your time. That said, once you watch this thing, be warned: