Theme Parks & Themed Entertainment

Is DAK’s Beastly Kingdom DOA? — Part 1

In this three part series from early 2000, Jim Hill looks at Disney’s Animal Kingdom and the unfortunate series of events that led up to the park — and the company — losing a land, many talented Imagineers, and worst of all: guests.

Published

24 years ago

December 31, 2000

Jim Hill

You can park your car in the “Unicorn” parking lot.

You can buy your admission ticket at a ticket booth with a huge dragon’s head on it.

And — for a while there — you could even catch a glimpse of a fire-breathing monster as you took a cruise along Discovery River.

So what are the chances that Walt Disney World [WDW] guests will someday soon get the chance to visit a land at Disney’s Animal Kingdom [DAK] that celebrates these mythical creatures?

These days, pretty slim. It’s probably more likely that guests will see a real unicorn or dragon long before they get the chance to tour DAK’s “Beastly Kingdom.”

What happened? Why has the Mouse decided to scrub its years-in-the-making plans for expansion of its animal theme park? Why table what would seem to be a sure-fire addition to Disney’s Florida resort?

Those who have been following the Walt Disney Company’s recent cost cutting craze will not be be surprised to learn that the projected high price tag for building “Beastly Kingdom” factored heavily in upper management’s recent decision to postpone indefinitely any major expansion of Disney’s Animal Kingdom. After all, if times are so tough for the Mouse that they have to lay off the Magic Kingdom’s marching band as well as Epcot’s fife-and-drum corp, what are the chances the company would be willing to spend $200 to $300 million to add a new land to DAK? Slim to none.

Mind you, Mickey was perfectly willing to pony up the $100 million necessary to build the Animal Kingdom Safari. But that’s different. That’s a hotel. That 1307 room resort will start making money for the Walt Disney Company the moment it opens in the Spring of 2001.

But “Beastly Kingdom?” Recent exit surveys have suggested that — even if Disney were to go forward with construction of this new land at DAK — the Mouse wouldn’t see a large enough increase in attendance at WDW’s fourth theme park to justify the cost of actually building “Beastly Kingdom.”

The real irony here is that one of the only reasons Disney’s Animal Kingdom ever got built was that way back in 1993, guests who were surveyed about ideas for a fourth WDW theme park responded strongly to the notion of having a place in Florida where they could see unicorns and dragons.

Want to hear what folks were told about “Beastly Kingdom” back then? What follows is an excerpt from an exact transcript of an early marketing presentation on Disney’s Animal Kingdom. It describes in great detail the fun that would have been had in this part of the proposed park:

Beastly Kingdom is the realm of make believe animals, animals that don’t really exist, out of legends, out of fairy tales, out of storybooks. Like our legends and fair tales about imaginary animals, this land is divided into realms of good and realms of evil.
The evil side is dominated by DRAGON’S TOWER, a burned, wrecked castle inhabited by a greedy, fire breathing dragon. He hordes a fabulous treasure in his tower chamber. The castle is also inhabited by bats who speak to us from their upside down perches. The bats have a plan. They enlist our help trying to rob the dragon and fly us off on a wild chase. At last, we meet the fire-breathing dragon himself and barely escape un-barbecued.
The good side of this land is ruled by QUEST OF THE UNICORN. An adventure which sends us through a maze of medieval mythological creatures to seek the hidden grotto where the unicorn lives. There is also FANTASIA GARDENS. A gentle musical boat ride through the animals from Disney’s animated classic, “Fantasia.” Both the crocodiles and hippos from ” Dance of the Hours” and the Pegasus, fauns and centaurs from Beethoven’s “Pastoral” are found here.

Sounds pretty impressive, yes? Those WDW guests surveyed back in 1993 thought so. They identified “Beastly Kingdom” — with its mix of roller coasters and imaginary animals — as the number one reason that they’d want to visit this proposed fourth theme park.

So why wasn’t “Beastly Kingdom” part of Disney’s Animal Kingdom when the park opened on April 22, 1998? Again, cost played a big part in delaying construction of this highly anticipated land. But DAK’s future planning had to be factored in too.

After all, it took the Walt Disney Company three years and $800 million just to get “Phase One” of DAK open. And — since the park’s name actually had the word “animal” in it — the Imagineers felt that opening day guests would want to see some actual live animals. So the majority of DAK’s capitalization was poured into building the Africa and Asian safari areas.

After that … well, someone had to make a decision. Disney’s Animal Kingdom was supposed to celebrate all animals: the live ones, the extinct ones, as well as the imaginary. The African and Asian enclosures would take care of the live animals.

But — in doing that — Disney blew through most of DAK’s initial budget. There was only enough money left to build one more land. Which should the Mouse go for? Dragons or dinosaurs?

In the end, the deciding factor here was the money the Disney Company had already blown on the soon-to-be-released computer animated film, “Dinosaur.” Even back in 1995, the Mouse had already invested upwards of $30 million into production of this movie. (Current estimates suggest that Disney may have spent as much as $150 million to finish this film, making “Dinosaur” even more expensive than James Cameron’s infamously over-budget 1997 epic, “Titanic.” ) Eisner wanted to make sure that Disney’s “Dinosaur” movie made a return on that investment, so he insisted that DAK feature an attraction that heavily hyped the forthcoming film.

That decision angered Joe Rohde and the other Imagineers on the Disney’s Animal Kingdom project. After all, one of the real reasons that DAK was being built was to keep WDW guests from leaving property to go visit Busch Gardens – Tampa Bay.

And what was Anheuser Busch’s Florida theme park best known for? Its animal displays and its killer roller coasters. With African and Asia, Disney had all the animals it needed. But where were the coasters?

According to Disney’s Animal Kingdom’s original plans, “Dragon’s Tower” was to have been this park’s signature attraction. That’s why the dragon was featured dead center in DAK’s logo. After guests visited WDW’s fourth theme park, this was going to be the ride they raved about the folks back home about.

What was so special about “Dragon’s Tower?” This high tech thrill ride would have been the Walt Disney Company’s first in-park use of an inverted roller coaster. This attraction would have also featured the largest AA figure ever built for a Disney theme park. The angry jewel encrusted dragon found in the ride’s finale — belching fire and smoke at your car as you zoomed on by — would have easily dwarfed any of the dinos found in “Countdown to Extinction” (AKA the “Dinosaur” ride).

But Eisner insisted that it was more important that DAK feature an area that synergized with the upcoming “Dinosaur” film. “Beastly Kingdom” would have to wait ’til DAK’s “Phase Two” … which, back then, was to have been completed no later than Spring 2003.

So — with this understanding that “Beastly Kingdom” hadn’t been cancelled, but merely postponed — WDI agreed to scale back their initial plans for Disney’s Animal Kingdom. But, even as they mapped out plans for the “Phase One” version of DAK, the Imagineers deliberately put in some pretty broad hints of the fun yet to come when “Beastly Kingdom” finally opened. That’s why you can park your car in the “Unicorn” lot as well as buy your tickets at the dragon headed ticket booth.

As for that fire-breathing dragon found in the cave down along Discovery River … before cost over-runs in other areas of DAK severely cut in the proposed budget for this part of the park, that make-believe monster was just one of many fantasical show elements that would have been found along this part of the river. That whole stretch of Discovery River was supposed to be one big coming attraction for “Beastly Kingdom.”

Had the Imagineers gotten all the money they were originally supposed to get, here’s what you would have experienced after your boat pulled away from the dock and began its cruise around Discovery River:

As you passed under the main bridge leading into Safari Village, you would have seen that the water ahead was littered with the shattered lances and crumpled armor of a great many fallen knights. But what horrible fate could have befallen all of these brave adventurers? A roar from the nearby cave offers a clue.
As your boat floated past the opening of the cave, you would have seen a duplicate of the dragon found in the cavern under Le Chateau de la Belle au Bois Dormant at Disneyland – Paris. Only WDW’s version would have been a lot more active than France’s sleepy monster. This dragon would have craned his neck out of the cave, roared at the guests and then breathed fire their way, before once again settling back down to sleep.
At this point, your boat driver would have started to get nervous. He would explain that he was worried that the dragon’s roaring would awaken the Kracken, a mythical Greek sea monster that was known to lurk along this stretch of Discovery River. Sure enough, the water around the boat begins to bubble ominously.
Off to one side, the huge fin of the Kracken suddenly cuts through the water. As the boat begins rocking back and forth, you’re certain you’re headed for a watery grave. Just then, your captain pulls out a lyre and begins plucking an odd tune. As the boat stops rocking and the water stops bubbling, the captain explains that music puts the Kracken back to sleep. Once that it’s safe to move on, the boat continues to head up river.
Just as you round the bend, your captain points off excitedly to your left. There on the shore, you catch a glimpse of a unicorn. The beautiful white creature — shrouded in mist as it stands in a picturesque grove of trees — paws the earth lightly with one hoof and nods its golden horn our way. The unicorn’s only visible for just an instant, but it truly is a beautiful sight.
As your boat pulls up to the dock in Harambe, you and your fellow guests would still be buzzing about the wonders you would have glimpsed on this leg of your adventure of Disney’s Animal Kingdom …

But of course … this didn’t happen. As DAK’s opening day grew nearer and it became obvious that the whole project was going over budget, great show elements like the Kracken and the Unicorn got cut from the “Phase One” version of the park. In the end, there was only enough money left in the budget for put one creature along the entire length of Discovery River.

Again — because Eisner insisted that “Dinosaur” be heavily synergized at DAK — the Imagineers decided to build a full-scale version of Aladar, the heroic iguanadon from the forthcoming film. That’s the AA dinosaur guests glimpsed roaring and splashing at water’s edge as their Discovery River boat floated past Dinoland USA.

Unfortunately, this decision left the other leg of the Discovery River boat cruise a five minute cruise past nothing. So Joe Rohde begged, pleaded and wheedled … and eventually got Eisner to kick in another couple of thousand dollars. With this tiny chunk of change, Joe was able to get the rock dragon that spews water along this part of the river built, as well as a very stripped down version of the park’s fire breathing dragon.

But don’t go looking for an Americanized version of Disneyland – Paris’s majestic AA dragon to be found along this part of Discovery River. Rohde’s Imagineers did the best they could with zero cash. All you’ll find here now is a somewhat dinky cave at water’s edge. As the boats went by, a ferocious roar would echo out of the cave, followed by a burst of flaming propane. These effects hinted that there was a dragon somewhere deep back inside that cave … but guests never really got a glimpse of the thing.

As you might imagine, WDW visitors were pretty unimpressed with what they saw along Discovery River once DAK opened. In fact, this was the ride that guests singled out — right from Opening Day — as the worst attraction in all of Disney’s Animal Kingdom. After waiting in line for over an hour to board the boats, they were furious to find that there was virtually nothing to see along the water during their five minute journey to Harambe.

The Imagineers were obviously embarrassed by this situation. It was particularly frustrating to WDI because they knew that they had a solution to the Discovery River problem, ready to go. But Disney management was too cheap to put up the money to make the fixes.

But that had been typical of Disney management’s handling of the whole DAK project. Given the choice between doing things the right way and the inexpensive way, the Mouse always opted to go cheap.

Take — for instance — how the Mouse handled the park’s capacity problems. When it became obvious that Asia was not going to ready in time for Disney’s Animal Kingdom’s April 1998 opening, the Imagineers began warning Disney management that DAK would not have a full day’s worth of shows and attractions. After having paid full price for admission, guests were sure to complain if they only got a half day’s worth of entertainment.

Eisner’s solution? Slap in a temporary land, similar to the “Mickey’s Birthdayland” area that the company had created for WDW’s Magic Kingdom way back in April 1988. From its first conceptual drawing right through to the first guest walking into Mickey’s house, “Mickey’s Birthdayland” had only taken 90 days to install.

Rohde and his Imagineers was appalled at Eisner’s suggestion. But — rather than tell the boss that his idea was terrible and that they wanted nothing to do with it — the DAK design team insisted that they were far too busy supervising construction in the rest of the park to work up any new temporary lands.

So Eisner ordered WDW’s entertainment office to take over the project. Using “Mickey’s Birthdayland” as their template, the entertainment staff came up with the concept for “Camp Minnie-Mickey.” Since there was no money available for even the cheapest of off-the-shelf rides, the WDW team opted to build “Camp Minnie-Mickey” around two low budget stage shows and several no budget character encounter areas.

How quickly and cheaply was “Camp Minnie-Mickey” thrown together? Do the float units the characters perform on in “Festival of the Lion King ” look familiar? They should. They’re the exact same parade floats that Disneyland ran up and down Main Street USA during the three year run of its “Lion King Celebration” parade.

Having this rapidly slapped together area sitting alongside lands that they’d spent years designing really irked the Imagineers. But Rohde advised his team to be patient and hold their tongues. After all, once Disney’s Animal Kingdom opened on April 22, 1998 and proved to be a huge success, then WDI would finally get the time and the money necessary to fix all the stuff that was wrong with the park.

Then the Imagineers could get the chance to put back all the stuff that was cut out of Discovery River. Then they could quietly pull the plug on that monstrosity, “Camp Minnie-Mickey.” Then WDI could finally get around to DAK’s “Phase Two” and build Beastly Kingdom.

Well, April 22, 1998 arrived and Disney’s Animal Kingdom opened …

But — after that — things didn’t quite go according to plan.

Television & Shows

The Untold Story of Super Soap Weekend at Disney-MGM Studios: How Daytime TV Took Over the Parks

Published

1 week ago

April 24, 2025

Jim Hill

Super Soap Weekends at Disney-MGM Studios

A long time ago in a galaxy that … Well, to be honest, wasn’t all that far away. This was down in Florida after all. But if you traveled to the WDW Resort, you could then experience “Star Wars Weekends.” Which ran seasonally at Disney’s Hollywood Studios Disney World from 1997 to 2015.

Mind you, what most folks don’t remember is the annual event that effectively plowed the road for “Star Wars Weekends.” Which was “Super Soap Weekend.” That seasonal offering — which allowed ABC soap fans to get up-close with their favorite performers from “All My Children,” “General Hospital,” “One Life to Live” and “Port Charles” — debuted at that same theme park the year previous (1996).

So how did this weekend-long celebration of daytime drama (which drew tens of thousands of people to Orlando every Fall for 15 years straight) come to be?

Michael Eisner’s Daytime TV Origins and a Theme Park Vision

Super Soap Weekend was the brainchild of then-Disney CEO Michael Eisner. His career in media began with short stints at NBC and CBS, but it truly took off in 1964 when he joined ABC as the assistant to Leonard Goldberg, who was the network’s national programming director at the time.

Eisner quickly advanced through the ranks. By 1971, he had become Vice President of Daytime Programming at ABC. That meant he was on the scene when One Life to Live joined the lineup in July 1968 and when All My Children made its debut in January 1970. Even after being promoted to Senior Vice President of Prime Time Programming in 1976, Eisner stayed close to the daytime division and often recruited standout soap talent for ABC’s primetime shows.

Fast forward nearly two decades to July 31, 1995. The Walt Disney Company announced that it would acquire ABC/Cap Cities in a $19 billion deal. Although the acquisition wasn’t finalized until February 1996, Eisner was already thinking ahead. He wanted to use the stars of All My Children, One Life to Live, and General Hospital to draw people to Disney’s theme parks.

He had seen how individual soap stars were drawing huge mall crowds across America since the late 1970s. Now he wanted to bring dozens of them together for something much bigger.

Super Soap Weekend Takes Over Disney-MGM Studios

The very first Super Soap Weekend was announced in June 1996, just a few months after the ABC deal closed. The event was scheduled for October 19 and 20 at Disney-MGM Studios and was a massive success.

The weekend featured panel discussions, autograph sessions, and photo opportunities with the stars of ABC’s daytime dramas. Thousands of fans packed the park for the chance to meet their favorite actors. Due to the overwhelming response, the event became an annual tradition and was eventually moved to Veterans Day weekend each November to better accommodate attendees.

Longtime fans like Nancy Stadler, her mom Mary, and their close friend Angela Ragno returned year after year, making the event a personal tradition and building lifelong memories.

West Coast Events and the ABC Soap Opera Bistro

Disney even tried to recreate the event out west. Two Super Soap Weekends were held at Disneyland Resort, one in April 2002 and another in June 2003.

At Disney’s California Adventure, Eisner also introduced the ABC Soap Opera Bistro, a themed dining experience that opened in February 2001. Guests could dine inside recreated sets from shows like General Hospital and All My Children, including Kelly’s Diner and the Chandler Mansion. The Bistro closed in November 2002, but for fans, it offered a rare opportunity to step into the world of their favorite soaps.

SOAPnet, Port Charles, and the Expansion of Daytime TV at Disney

Eisner’s enthusiasm for soaps extended beyond the parks. In January 2000, he launched SOAPnet, a cable channel dedicated to prime time replays of ABC’s daytime dramas.

During his time at Disney, General Hospital also received a spin-off series titled Port Charles, which aired from June 1997 to October 2003. The show leaned into supernatural plotlines and was another example of Eisner’s commitment to evolving and expanding the soap genre.

The Final Curtain for Super Soap Weekend

In September 2005, Eisner stepped down after 21 years as head of The Walt Disney Company. Bob Iger, who had previously served as President of ABC and Chief Operating Officer of ABC/Cap Cities, took over as CEO. While Iger had deep ABC credentials, he didn’t share Eisner’s passion for daytime television.

In the fall of 2008, Disney hosted the final Super Soap Weekend at what was then still called Disney-MGM Studios. That same year, the park was rebranded as Disney’s Hollywood Studios, and Disney began shifting away from television-focused experiences.

Within the next five years, the rest of Eisner’s soap legacy faded. One Life to Live was canceled in January 2012. SOAPnet was rebranded as Disney Junior in February 2013. Later that year, All My Children ended its 41-year run on ABC.

Only General Hospital remains on the network today, the last standing soap from the golden age of ABC Daytime.

A New Chapter for Daytime TV and Super Soap Fans

The soap genre may have faded from its former glory, but it’s not gone. On February 24, 2025, CBS premiered a brand-new daytime drama called Beyond the Gates, marking the first new soap launch in years.

Meanwhile, All My Children alum Kelly Ripa has been actively working on a revival. In September 2024, she mentioned a holiday-themed movie set in Pine Valley that would bring back many original cast members. The project was in development for Lifetime, though its current status is unclear.

And what about Super Soap? Fans like Nancy and Angela still hope Disney will bring it back. Even if it only featured the cast of General Hospital, it would be a welcome return for longtime viewers who miss that one weekend a year where the magic of Disney collided with the drama of daytime TV.

If you want to hear firsthand what it was like to be part of Super Soap Weekend, be sure to listen to our I Want That Too podcast interview with actor Colin Egglesfield. He shares behind-the-scenes memories from his days as Josh Madden on All My Children and what it meant to be part of one of the most unique fan events in Disney park history.

History

The Super Bowl & Disney: The Untold Story Behind ‘I’m Going to Disneyland!’

Published

3 months ago

February 6, 2025

Jim Hill

One of the highlights of the Super Bowl isn’t just the game itself—it’s the moment when the winning quarterback turns to the camera and exclaims, “I’m going to Disney World!” This now-iconic phrase has been a staple of post-game celebrations for decades. But where did this tradition begin? Surprisingly, it didn’t originate in a stadium but at a dinner table in 1987, in a conversation involving Michael Eisner, George Lucas, and aviation pioneers Dick Rutan and Jeana Yeager.

The Unlikely Beginning of a Marketing Sensation

To understand the origins of this campaign, we have to go back to December 1986, when the Rutan Voyager became the first aircraft to fly around the world without stopping or refueling. Pilots Dick Rutan and Jeana Yeager completed the nine-day journey on December 23, 1986, flying over 26,000 miles before landing at Edwards Air Force Base. Their historic achievement earned them national recognition, and just days later, President Ronald Reagan awarded them the Presidential Citizen Medal at the White House.

Meanwhile, Disney was gearing up for the grand opening of Star Tours at Disneyland, set for January 12, 1987. Following its usual playbook of associating major theme park attractions with real-world pioneers, Disney’s PR team invited astronauts Gordon Cooper and Deke Slayton to the launch event. But in a twist, they also invited Rutan and Yeager, who were still making headlines.

A Dinner Conversation That Changed Advertising Forever

After the Star Tours opening ceremony, a private dinner was held with Disney CEO Michael Eisner, George Lucas, and Eisner’s wife, Jane. During the meal, Eisner asked Rutan and Yeager, “You just made history. You traveled non-stop around the planet on a plane without ever refueling. How are you ever going to top that, career-wise? What are you two gonna do next?”

Without hesitation, Jeana Yeager replied, “Well, after being cramped inside that tiny plane for nine days, I’m just glad to be anywhere else. And even though you folks were nice enough to fly us here, invite us to your party… Well, as soon as we finish eating, I’m gonna go over to the Park and ride some rides. I’m going to Disneyland.”

Jane Eisner immediately recognized the power of Yeager’s statement. On the car ride home, she turned to Michael and said, “That’s a great slogan. I think you should use that to promote the theme parks.” Like many husbands, Michael initially dismissed the idea, but Jane persisted. Eventually, Eisner relented and pitched it to his team.

The Super Bowl Connection

With Super Bowl XXI just around the corner, Disney’s PR team saw an opportunity. The game was set for January 25, 1987, at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena—just miles from Disney Studios. What if they convinced the winning quarterback to say, “I’m going to Disneyland” live on-air?

Disney quickly struck a deal with both quarterbacks—Phil Simms of the New York Giants and John Elway of the Denver Broncos—offering each $75,000 to deliver the line if their team won. Simms led the Giants to victory, making history as the first athlete to say, “I’m going to Disney World!” on national television.

A Marketing Triumph

That year’s Super Bowl had the second-highest viewership in television history, with 87 million people watching Simms say the famous line. The next day, Disney turned the clip into a national commercial, cementing the phrase as a marketing goldmine.

Since then, “I’m going to Disneyland” (or Disney World, depending on the commercial) has been a staple of championship celebrations, spanning the NFL, NBA, and even the Olympics. What started as a casual remark at dinner became one of the most successful advertising campaigns in history.

A Lasting Legacy

Jane Eisner’s keen instinct and Disney’s ability to act quickly on a great idea created a tradition that continues to captivate audiences. The “I’m going to Disneyland” campaign remains a testament to the power of spontaneous inspiration and smart marketing, proving that sometimes, the best ideas come from the most unexpected places.

To learn more about Disney’s ties to the world of sports, check out I Want That Too: A Disney History and Consumer Product Podcast.

Television & Shows

How the Creators of South Park Tricked A-List Celebrities to Roast Universal – “Your Studio & You”

Published

4 months ago

January 12, 2025

Jim Hill

Universal Studios has a rich and storied history, but few moments are as peculiar—and as hilariously cutting—as the creation of Your Studio & You. This 14-minute parody film, commissioned in 1995 to celebrate Universal’s new ownership under Seagram’s, brings together an all-star cast, biting humor, and the unmistakable comedic fingerprints of Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

Long before South Park debuted on Comedy Central in 1997, Stone and Parker were already carving out a reputation for their irreverent style, and Your Studio & You perfectly encapsulates their knack for turning even the most corporate project into something delightfully subversive.

Matt Stone & Trey Parker Before South Park

Stone & Parker were already known out in Hollywood as funny guys. Thanks largely to “The Spirit of Christmas,” which was this video greeting card that they’d crafted for a Fox executive – who then distributed this infamously funny thing (which had Our Lord Jesus Christ & Santa Claus literally duking it out for the holiday affections of Cartman, Kenny, Stan & Kyle) to friends & family.

This was the early 1990s. No internet. Each copy of “The Spirit of Christmas” was made on VHS tape and then mailed. Went viral the old-fashioned way. It’s rumored that George Clooney made over 300 copies of “The Spirit of Christmas” and passed these VHS taps along to friends and family.

Things didn’t move as fast as they do today. “The Spirit of Christmas” still became a sensation out West.

Zucker Brothers

Matt & Trey also had other supporters in the entertainment industry. Among them David Zucker, who was one of the members of ZAZ (i.e., Zucker Abrahams Zucker), the talented trio that made “Airplane!” in 1980, “Top Secret!” in 1984 and the three “Naked Gun” movies.

The original “Naked Gun” in 1988
“Naked Gun 2 & 1/2 : The Smell of Fear” in 1991
and “Naked Gun 33 & a 1/3: The Final Insult” in 1994

All five of these parody films had been made for Paramount Pictures. But in the Late Winter / Early Spring of 1995, Universal had persuaded the Zucker Brothers to come over and set up shop in a bungalow on their lower lot. With the hope that – at some point further on down the line – David & his brother Jerry would start making funny films for Universal.

Zucker Brothers featured in "Your Studio and You"

And it’s during this same window of time (We’re now talking April of 1995) that news breaks that Seagrams (Yep, the adult beverage company. Who – at the time – was making an absolute fortune on the sales of wine coolers) was about to buy a majority stake in MCAUniversal. We’re talking control of 80% of that company’s stock. Which would effectively make Seagrams the new owners of Universal Studios.

Edgar Bronfman

And Edgar Bronfman – the owner of Seagrams – knew that Universal had had a tough time with its previous owners – which had been the Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. of Japan. Matsushita had bought MCA back in November of 1990 for $7.5 billion but had never really understood the entertainment industry.

This is why – after repeatedly butting heads with Lew Wasserman & Sidney Sheinberg (i.e., the heads of Universal Studios & the Universal theme park respectively) when it came to creative control of this company – Matsushita decided to wash it hands of the entire enterprise. Agreeing to sell their holdings in MCA to Seagrams for $5.7 billion (effectively taking a nearly $2 billion loss on this investment).

And Bronfman … He knew that some bad feeling had developed between Hollywood’s creative community and the Japanese owners of Universal. The thinking was that executives at Matsushita Electric had just not gotten what it took to make movies & TV shows.

And Edgar? Right from the get-go, he wanted to show that Seagrams was NOT going to be Matsushita Electric Redux. Bronfman was looking for a way to send a clear message to Hollywood’s creative community that Universal’s new owners got it. That they were willing to work with Hollywood to make the best possible movies & TV shows at Universal.

And how did Edgar decide to get this message across? By making a funny movie.

Zucker Commissions Trey Parker for “Your Studio & You”

Mind you, Bronfman himself didn’t make this film. The owner of Seagrams reached out to David Zucker. Who – after initially agreeing to produce this introduction-to-Universal film – then farmed out the production of the actual project to Trey Parker. Who – just two days before shooting was supposed to star on the Universal Lot – persuaded Matt Stone to come help him on this project.

Which brings us to “Your Studio and You.” Which is a parody of an educational film from the 1950s, right down to being shot in black & white and featuring a very generic soundtrack.

Now what’s amazing about watching “Your Studio and You” today is that this 14-minute-long film features some of the biggest names working in Hollywood back in the mid-1990s. We’re talking about people like recent Golden Globe winner Demi Moore, Sylvester Stallone, Michael J. Fox and Angela Lansbury. Not to mention two of the most powerful men in all of Hollywood, Steven Spielberg & Jeffrey Katzenberg.

And what’s especially interesting about watch “Your Studio and You” is that – as you watch these performers go through their paces in this motion pictures (which – most of the time – involves doing some innocuous task while holding a Seagram’s wine cooler) – you often get the feeling that this star is not in on the gag.

So how did Matt & Trey get away with this? Simple. There was never actually a script for “Your Studio and You.”

Filming “Your Studio & You” at Universal Studios Hollywood

Mind you, David Zucker would always insist that there was. Especially when he’d phone up celebrities on the Universal Lot and say “Hey, I’m sending over a couple of college kids later today. They’re working with me on a new parody film. It’s something that we’re doing for the new owners of Universal. I need just a half hour of your time. We’re shooting something special for the party we’ll be holding when the Seagrams people first arrive at the Studio. Absolutely. You’ll definitely get an invite to that party. So can I count on you to help these kids out? Beautiful. They’ll be over there later this morning.”

And then Matt & Trey would show up and say “… Dang, Miss Lansbury. We’re sorry. We must have left our copy of the ‘Your Studio and You’ script back in our office. Which is clear on the other side of the Lot. So – rather than waste your time – why don’t we do this instead? Follow us over to the Psycho House. Where we’re then going to get footage of you painting the front porch on Mother Bates’ house while you say ‘Gosh, with all of the wonderful improvements going on around here, everyone is going to want to work at Universal.’ Oh, and can we also get you to wear this button on the front of your blazer which reads ‘Universal is A-OK’ ? “

And over & over again, the biggest names who were working for Universal at that time took part in the production of “Your Studio & You” because A) David Zucker vouched for Matt Stone & Trey Parker and B) this was something that was being made for the new owners of Universal. And it’s just natural to want to get in good with the new boss.

Steven Spielberg, Jeffery Katzenberg, and Jaws

But no one at Universal anticipated that “Your Studio & You” would wind up being as sharp edged as the finished product turned out to be. I mean, it’s one thing to bite the hand that feeds you. But “Your Studio & You” ? It doesn’t just bite the hand. It takes the hand off at the wrist.

It’s a brutally funny film. With one of the meanest moments reserved for Steven Spielberg, who plays a driver on the Universal Studio Tour who’s trying to persuade a tram full of bored tourists (one of whom is played by Jeffery Katzenberg) that the “Shark Attack” scene down by Jaws Lagoon is actually exciting.

Spielberg actually says lines like “ … Whoa, whoa. What is going on here? Ladies and gentlemen, this never happens. Look out! It’s a shark! Whoa, that is one big scary shark.”

Mind you, as footage of this mechanical shark repeatedly coming up out of the water is shown, “Your Studio & You” ‘s off-screen narrator (who is voiced by Trey Parker says):

“But what about tomorrow? If we don’t keep in step with the times, things that were once neat and thrilling can become old and stupid.”

“Your Studio & You” Reception

This film was supposed to be shown only once at the welcoming party for Seagrams executive on the Universal Lot. And I’m told that – when Edgar Bronfman saw the finished product at that party – he reportedly turned to David Zucker and said “ … That’s a little more mean-spirited that I think it needed to be.”

And with that, “Your Studio & You” was supposed to go back into the Universal vault, never to be seen again. But when “South Park” debuted on Comedy Central in August of 1997 and then became a sensation for its biting humor, there was suddenly a lot of interest in what else Matt & Trey had done. Which is why copies of “The Spirit of Christmas” began to circulate. And – over time – copies of “Your Studio & You” began to bubble up.

Which – as Stone & Parker have repeatedly pointed out – was just not supposed to happen. Largely because none of the celebrities who appeared in “Your Studio & You” had never signed releases for Universal’s legal department. Because – again – this was for a movie that was only going to be shown once at a private function on the Universal Lot.

Matt mentioned (as part of a career retrospective at the Paley Center in LA back in 2000) that “ … they wouldn’t even let us keep a copy of the finished film.”

It’s a funny but brutal movie. And worth taking a look at today especially if you’re a theme park history buff because it shows Universal Studios Hollywood’s “Jurassic Park: The Ride” still under construction on the Lower Lot. That attraction would finally open to the public in June of 1996.

“Your Studio & You” became a lot easier to see after Seagrams sold off its share of Universal to Vivendi in 2000. Copies began propagating online after that. Though Universal Legal will periodically make an effort to get the latest copy of “Your Studio & You” taken off the Internet because – again – none of the performers who appear on camera ever signed the proper releases and/or were paid for their efforts.

That said, if you’re up for a mean-spirited laugh, “Your Studio & You” is well worth 14 minutes of your time. That said, once you watch this thing, be warned: