As its box office totals continue to trickle in, you just know that there have
to be people  back in Burbank
who are disappointed with the way “Muppets Most Wanted” performed
this past weekend. Racking up just an estimated $16.5 million in ticket sales.
Which doesn’t compare all that well with the $29 million that “The
Muppets
” earned over the 2011 Thanksgiving weekend.

So what exactly happened here? Was it just as Kermit & Fozzie musically
foretold in “Muppets Most Wanted” ‘s opening number that ” … the
sequel’s never quite as good” ?

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To be honest, no. If you talk with industry insiders,
they’ll flat-out tell you that “Muppets Most Wanted” box office
take was seriously undercut by a surprising strong “Mr. Peabody &
Sherman.” Three weekends into its domestic release, this DreamWorks
Animation production sold an estimated $11.7 million worth of tickets. Which
meant that the family-friendly “Mr. Peabody” took an over-sized bite
out of the audience that Disney had hoped would want to go see “Muppets
Most Wanted” instead.

That said, there are also those at the studio who say that
— as soon as Jason Segel made it clear that he didn’t really want to be part
of a follow-up to “The Muppets” — Disney should have had the smarts
to go in another direction with this production. Given that Segel not only
starred in the 2011 Walt Disney Pictures release, Jason also executive-produced
“The Muppets” as well co-wrote that movie’s screenplay with Nicholas
Stoller … Well, Segel’s absence was obviously going to be felt. Especially
since “Muppets Most Wanted” was being sold as a direct sequel to
“The Muppets.”

Jason Segel goes over
“The Muppets” screenplay with Kermit the Frog and Miss
Piggy. Copyright
Disney Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved

“So what should have the Mouse made instead of ‘Muppets Most
Wanted?,” you ask. Well, Disney could have always circled back on a script
that Jim Henson himself had always wanted to shoot with Kermit & Co. A
screenplay that Frank Oz said ” … would be a lot of fun to do.” In
fact, as recently as late 2005 / early 2006, Dick Cook — the then-Chairman of Walt
Disney Studios — was still trying to get this Muppet movie made.

“And what project was this?,” you query. A film that was supposedly
so funny that — even in storyboard form — it reportedly caused Jim Henson and
screenwriter Jerry Juhl to giggle uncontrollably: “The Cheapest Muppet
Movie Ever Made.”

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Inc. All rights reserved

And what exactly was the storyline of this proposed Muppet movie?  To give you the answer to that question, I’m
going to have to turn to that national bestseller, Brian Jay Jones‘ “Jim
Henson: The Biography
” (Ballantine Books, September 2003). And to hear
Jones tell this tale, the origins of “The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever
Made” can actually be traced back to a Henson associates staff meeting in
early 1987. Where Oz had been grousing …

… to Jim and Juhl about the growing costs of (many of the
future projects that they hoped to produce) at Henson Associates. If they were
going to make another Muppet film, Oz said testily, they would have to
“figure out a way to do a really low-budget kind of thing.” That was
all Juhl needed. Hunching over his Macintosh computer in his home office in California,
he quickly pounded out a treatment for a film called “The Cheapest Muppet
Movie Ever Made.”

Jerry Juhl and Kermit the
Frog. Copyright The Jim Henson
Company. All rights reserved

So what sort of scenario did Juhl cook up for
“Cheapest” ? Borrowing a page from Jim’s own life during this point
in the history of Henson Associates, as this film is getting underway, Kermit
is far too busy to take on any additional behind-the-scenes responsibilities on
the next Muppet movie. Gonzo — who has always dreamed of directing — then
offers to take over production of this motion picture. Kermit reluctantly
agrees but does seem pleased that all he’ll have to do on this Muppet movie is
appear in it. Rather than produce and then have to coax emotionally overwrought
lady pigs out of their trailers.

So Gonzo goes off and — because his contract says that he
has now creative control over this entire project — completely rewrites the
script for the next Muppet movie. The film that he now wants to shoot is called
“Into the Jaws of the Demons of Death.” Which — to hear Jerry Juhl
describe the proposed storyline of the motion picture masterpiece that Gonzo
wants to make — has …

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Inc.
All rights reserved

… this cheesy, terrible plot that made absolutely no sense
whatsoever about something being stolen that led to a chase around the world.

Let’s Brian Jay Jones pick up “Cheapest” plotline
from this point in the story. Gonzo now asks all of the friends to come to the
Muppet Studios screening room to see all of the footage that he’s shot so far:

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reserved

In his enthusiasm, Gonzo spends his entire budget on an
impressive opening credits sequence, then has no money left for the rest of the
film, As the movie proceeds, the film quality gets worse and worse, eventually
eroding into black-and-white Super 8 film, then a slide show, and finally just
storyboards — until Gonzo sells out to corporate sponsors and finishes the
movie in a beautiful, high-definition, widescreen format.

Jim was delighted with the treatment, and put Juhl to work
writing a full script, which he turned in as Jim was wrapping up “A Muppet
Family Christmas” in Ontario.
Jim, Juhl and Oz passed the script back and forth, and even Oz — always
prickly about the treatment of the characters — thought it was a exciting
project. “It’s going to be the kind of movie the audience wants the Muppets to do,” he told
Jim. “Just a little crazy and a whole lot of fun.”

As it was written, “The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever
Made” actually wouldn’t be cheap to make — Juhl’s script called for
erupting volcanoes and exploding islands, and for Meryl Streep to play Miss
Piggy’s stand-in — but the idea was funny and Jim thought he could manage
things on a budget of $8 million.

(L to R) A very young Frank Oz,
Jim Henson and Jerry Juhl wrestling with Big V,
the Muppet monster made famous
in the “Glow Worm” skit which debuted on
“The Ed Sullivan
Show” back in 1964. Copyright The Jim Henson
Company. All rights reserved

And Henson was seriously about trying to keep “The
Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made” ‘s production costs down. As Jones
recounts, in late 1988, Jim …

… visited with Industrial Light and Magic, George Lucas‘s
groundbreaking special effects company, to discuss special effects for ‘The
Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made,’ which he was determined to put into
production in 1989.

Jim Henson and George Lucas. Copyright The Jim Henson
Company.
All rights reserved

And even as late as Spring of 1990 — when most of Jim’s time, energy and
attention were directed toward trying to wrap up The Walt Disney Company’s
protracted negotiations to acquire Henson Associates for an estimated $150
million — he was still talking up “Cheapest.” Again from Brian Jay
Jones’ best-selling book:

Jim made the short flight from Burbank
up to Sacramento, then drove up the
coastline to visit Jerry Juhl at his home a hundred miles north of San
Francisco. The two walked and talked among the giant
redwoods for a while, then returned to Juhl’s home office to discuss “The
Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made,” which Jim was still determined to make
once the Disney deal was complete. It was a project that the two of them loved
to talk about — and Jim would spread the storyboards out on the floor of
Juhl’s office where, in no time, the two of them would be giggling
uncontrollably as they tossed around one idea after another.

Jim Henson and Jerry Juhl with the cast of “Fraggle Rock.”
Copyright The Jim
Henson Company.  All rights reserved

But then on May 16, 1990,
Jim Henson died. And all of his grand plans for the Muppets and what he &
his talented team were going to do at Disney slowly fell apart. In fact, by
December of that same year, relations had gotten so strained between the Henson
family & Mickey’s attorneys that The Walt Disney Company’s acquisition of
Henson Associates was abruptly called off.

And in its place … Well, this weird sort of deal was then cobbled together.
One that would allow the already completed “Jim Henson Presents Muppet
Vision 3D” to begin being shown at Disney-MGM Studio theme park starting
in May of 1991. Not to mention granting Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment
distribution rights for much of the Jim Henson Company’s film library.

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Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved

And speaking of films … Then-Disney CEO Michael Eisner was determined that
Walt Disney Pictures would start distributing new Muppet movies. And the
sooner, the better. But the only problem was 
— when the script for “The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever
Produced” landed on his desk — Eisner saw this proposed film as too much
of a inside joke. Something that people who actually lived & worked in Hollywood
would get and enjoy. But as for the rest of the country … Well, Michael felt
that Jim & Jerry’s good-natured ribbing of the entertainment industry would
just confuse all of those folks out there in flyover country.

So setting aside the screenplay that he’d written for
“Cheapest,” Juhl then crafted two scripts that met with Eisner’s
approval: 1992’s “The Muppet Christmas Carol
” and 1996’s “Muppet Treasure Island
.” Which placed Miss Piggy & pals in the
context of two well-known classic stories that most moviegoers already knew.
Which would — in theory, anyway — then make it that much easier to sell these
two new Muppet movies to audiences around the world.

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Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved

Mind you, about this same time, Frank Oz began cutting back on his involvement
in Muppet-related projects. Mostly this was because Oz’s career as a film
director really began taking off in the late 1980s / early 1990s. Which meant
that he then had less & less time to ” … wiggle the dollies.”
(i.e., this was Jim & Frank’s deliberately dismissive way of describing the
work that they did with the Muppets. These two truly talented men felt that —
if they avoided being  precious about the
puppets that they worked with — that would then make it that much easier for
Henson & Oz to just concentrate on doing good work).

Which then led to situations like what happened on
“Muppet Treasure Island.” Because Frank was so busy shooting
“The Indian in the Cupboard
” while the Muppet version of this Robert
Louis Stevenson story was being filmed, Kevin Clash performed Oz’s characters (i.e.,
Squire Trelawney [Fozzie Bear], Mr. Arrow [Sam Eagle] and Benjamina Gunn [Miss
Piggy]) on set, and Oz then came in after-the-fact and looped those characters’
dialogue during post-production.

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Enterprises, Inc. All rights reserved

There have also been whispers that — on the heels of the
July 1999 release of “Muppets from Space
” — Frank wasn’t entirely
happy with the direction that the Jim Henson Company was taking with the
characters. While Oz has never talked publicly about the matter, it is worth
noting that Frank’s last known performance as Miss Piggy was back on January 14, 2002. When he appeared alongside
Steve Whitmire’s Kermit the Frog as part of the 50th anniversary celebration of
NBC‘s Today.

Now where this gets interesting is that — in February of
2004 — The Walt Disney Company signed a binding purchasing agreement with The
Jim Henson Company which would then allow the Mouse to acquire the Muppets as
well as the Bear in the Big Blue House characters. And as Disney’s lawyers dug
down in Henson’s files during the discovery phase of this acquisition, what did
they discover? Jerry Juhl’s original screenplay for “The Cheapest Muppet
Movie Ever Made.”

(L to R) Bob Iger, Michael Eisner and Dick Cook at the November 2004 premiere
of Pixar’s “The Incredibles.” Copyright
Disney Enterprises, Inc.
All rights reserved

This script & its storyboards eventually wound up on
Dick Cook’s desk. And the then-Chairman of Walt Disney Studios just loved the
idea of a movie where — as its budget continues to shrink — Gonzo and his
“Into the Jaws of the Demons of Death” production team were
eventually forced to use a shot of the exact same street corner for every city
in the world.

That said, Cook knew that the Muppets had basically been out of the spotlight
for five years at this point. Which meant that it would take something really
special to reinvigorate this film franchise, get people excited about the idea
of seeing a Muppet movie again. Which is why Dick reportedly gave Frank a call
and asked him to come by Disney Studios so that they could then discuss the
idea of Oz directing “The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made.”

Frank Oz behind the camera.

And Cook couldn’t have picked a better project to try and lure Oz back into the
Muppet fold. For as recently as February of 2000, Frank had still been talking
with great enthusiasm about “The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made.” In
a four part interview with Ken Plume for Film Force, Oz insisted that the
reason …

… I want to do the next Muppet movie (is) because I’m
excited about a particular idea, and the idea is something that Jim and Jerry
Juhl and I thought of 15 years ago.

(L to R) Alex Rockwell, Jim Henson and Frank Oz on
the set of Muppet Vision 3D.
Copyright The Jim Henson Company. All rights
reserved

Now just to be clear here: This meeting reportedly happened
in the late Summer / early Fall of 2005 just as Michael Eisner was stepping
down as the head of The Walt Disney Company. And given that Bob Iger — the
Company’s incoming president and chief executive officer — reportedly wasn’t
quite the Muppet enthusiast that Michael Eisner was … Well, Cook knew that if
he was going to convince Iger to greenlight production of a new Muppet movie,
he’d need a hook. Which is why it was crucial to convince Oz to come direct
“Cheapest.”

And “Cheapest” had supposedly been on Frank’s mind. What with Jerry
Juhl’s  passing on September 26, 2005, it
seemed that more & more of his good friends — the very people who had
taken a chance on this 17 year-old kid back in the early 1960s and helped Oz
get his start in the entertainment industry — were slipping away. So if Frank
could actually finally get “The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made” …
Well, that could then be his way of honoring the memory of Jim & Jerry.

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reserved

The only problem was that — as Dick & Frank began to
talk about theis project — it quickly became apparent that they just couldn’t
see eye-to-eye on this proposed film’s budget. The story that I’ve always been
told is that Cook really did want to make the cheapest Muppet movie ever made.
And the amount of money that he supposedly offered Oz to produce & direct
this motion picture was miniscule.

Whereas Oz … Because he knew Juhl’s script backwards & forwards, Frank
understood that there were gags in this screenplay which hinged on really expensive
things. Like volcanoes suddenly erupting on tranquil islands. And in an
infamous exchange with Disney’s studio chief, Oz reportedly turned to Cook and
said “Do you know how much money you have to spend in order to make
something look cheap?”

Frank Oz on set

With the hope that Frank might eventually find a way to
drive the projected production costs of “The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever
Made” down, Cook asked Oz to meet with the studio’s special effects
department and continue to develop Juhl’s screenplay. But about this same time
in 2006, Jason Segel came a-knocking with his own pitch for a brand-new Muppet
movie. One that aimed to revive this franchise by reaching back to the style
& tone of the first three Muppet movies as well as the old “Muppet
Show” TV series.

In the end, given that what Segel was proposing was
basically a reboot of the Muppets (which was really more in line with what The Walt
Disney Company was looking for back then. Given that there was an entire
generation of consumers out there who didn’t know Kermit & Co. / weren’t
emotionally connected with these characters) and given that Oz & Cook
couldn’t come to terms over “Cheapest” ‘s budget, Dick eventually
opted to go with Jason’s proposal. And Frank … After he departed Disney, Oz
eventually went on to direct 2007’s “Death at a Funeral
.”

Frank Oz directs Peter
Dinklage on the set of “Death at a Funeral.” Copyright
2007
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. All rights reserved

Now where this story gets kind of confusing is that — even though Walt Disney
Studios was now committed to shooting Segel’s version of a Muppet revival movie
— Cook kept referring to this project as “The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made.”
Dick even stood onstage at the inaugural D23 EXPO back in September of 2009 and
used that very same title in front of the Disney faithful. Even though he knew
that the film that Jason wanted to make had nothing to do with the screenplay
that Jerry had written back in 1987.

Look, it’s not like The Jim Henson Company & The Walt
Disney Company doesn’t have other unproduced Muppet screenplays lying around.
Google “The Muppets Haunted Hotel,” “Muppets Haunted Movie”
& “Muppets Time Travel” (Or — for that matter — “Muppets
in Space” rather than “Muppets from Space”) and you’ll see what
I mean.

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reserved

But even so, at a time when the Studio was unsure that the
movie-going public would actually embrace a Jason Segel-free sequel to 2010’s
“The Muppets,” one has to wonder if — as Disney execs were reviewing
their options back then — someone there went riffling through the files. And
given that studio execs are always trying to keep the production costs down on
sequels because the old Hollywood rule-of-thumb is that
follow-up films only gross 4/5th to 2/3rds of what the original motion picture
made … Well, a script entitled “The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever
Made” would have been very, very tempting.

Anyway … That’s the story as it was told to me by several Disney & Muppet
insiders. Plus the info I pulled out of Brian Jay Jones’ award-winning “Jim Henson: The Biography
.” So what do you think? Does “The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever
Made” actually sound like something that you’d have paid to see?

The Muppets onstage at the D23 EXPO back in
September of 2009.
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Your thoughts?